my sister's having her first baby, and in a new incarnation of the nursing school phenomenon where you have every symptom you're learning about and a runny nose is a csf leak, not the sniffles, I'm seeing her face on every miscarriage, every emergency caesar, every early birth, and every sick baby. I feel like I know too much - I've seen all the hard and heartbreaking things that can go on with this baby-making business and I'm terrified that something will happen to her. Whenever she goes to see her ob I'm afraid somethings going to be wrong, and I'm counting down till she's at a viable gestation. I work in theatres, and every emergency caesar I worry that the same things will happen to her - ridiculously short cord, abruption, cord prolapse, haemmorhage... we seem to have had a run of bad ones recently, and although I'm well aware that women the world over are delivering healthy babies, I can't find the off switch for my worrying!! help!!
This isn't related to OB/PP/L&D, but I had a friend who was a 4th year medical student - had been on placement all day taking histories etc - get really sick at the supermarket while we were shopping. She was in the bathroom, extreme abdominal pain, dizziness, she was passing blood (told me afterwards she'd been throwing up and not been able to drink/eat all day!!) - not pretty. There was a first aid room at the supermarket, where we went (but there was no first aider on duty) and called an ambulance. I sat with her, and she could not tell them her own history/symptoms.
We got to the hospital and she was seen in A&E (ED). She kept asking me what her hr was, what her sat/bp etc. were. When one of the docs overheard us, he asked her "... are you a student nurse?!" she said, no, 4th year medic! After that they treated her SO differently, pitching things at her level of understanding. Problem was, when they decided that no, it wasn't an ectopic pregnancy and more likely appendicitis that would need emergency surgery, she had done ALL the reading about anaesthesia, surgery that has gone wrong etc. etc. etc. She couldn't find the off switch for her medical/healthcare training and was petrified!!! You can definitely "know too much". She eventually sat down with the anaesthesiologist who managed to soothe her concerns.
I guess we just have to remember that everyone around us taking care of us/our loved ones has the same knowledge we have, and we just trust as best we can that they will make the sound decisions we would if we were impartial (but realizing when we're NOT impartial is the hardest part!!). And also realizing that we've seen the worst case outcomes, which are definitely NOT the norm but people do know how to deal with them successfully when they come up!
The problem is that they don't all have the same knowledge (or experience or dedication or attention to detail) that we have. Sometimes mistakes are made by very experienced staff who are tired or momentarily lose focus or who are ill on duty or whatever.
All you can do is be as vigilant as you can handle being. You can also stay away. There's no law that says you are required to go to every appointment, be in the labor/delivery setting, or otherwise always be there for every loved one. You are only human, finite. Just do your best.
Kooky Korky, BSN, RN
5,216 Posts
The problem is that they don't all have the same knowledge (or experience or dedication or attention to detail) that we have. Sometimes mistakes are made by very experienced staff who are tired or momentarily lose focus or who are ill on duty or whatever.
All you can do is be as vigilant as you can handle being. You can also stay away. There's no law that says you are required to go to every appointment, be in the labor/delivery setting, or otherwise always be there for every loved one. You are only human, finite. Just do your best.