ER fear

I am a fairly new nurse (graduated in 2011 and started this job in Nov. 2013) who took a job in a rural area at a critical access hospital. The town has about 500 people and smaller towns surrounding. I work in Med/Surg and am also required to work ER as I am usually Charge and have one LPN or CNA to work with me. We may go for days with no one in the ER, then we may get 3 to 5 in one day. Often these ER cases are minor, someone may have a sprain or break, or pain or a cold, and I feel okay with these type of issues. What I am afraid of is REAL EMERGENCIES, you know like MI or Stroke or bad motor vehicle accident or gunshot. I, unfortunately, did not receive a lot of orientation because there is not enough money or staff available for such. We have a new (who's learning) Doctor here part time, 2 FNP's, and a Dr. that is kind of a jerk. Our EMT staff are great and readily available to help in ER, but also condescending and kind of treat me like I'm a fool.

My problem is, I feel like an idiot a lot of the time. I am also quite sure others think I am to some degree too. Every tiny fumble is relayed to my DON, also a provider here, who says I need to appear more confident and just do things. The thing is unless I do them consistently to become comfortable with these emergencies that come up, how will I know how to do them and become confident? She says I need to study, study, study, everything I can and pick every nurse's brain whenever I have an opportunity. I am willing to do this, but I don't always have an opportunity to talk to other RN's, and what I really need is some advice on WHAT to study and HOW to train myself to be a good/better ER nurse. Part of me wants to run screaming from this job :0