Published Jan 17, 2015
MeiDei
87 Posts
My school requires an entrance essay to help with the application process and the topic is "Why I would be successful if admitted". If it's not too much trouble, I would like some advice and assistance as I really don't have a clue what to write. It only needs to be one page and it is informal. What I have written is 3/4 of a page and is pt. 12 font. I feel like it's missing something. Any advice is appreciated!
"My grandfather used to always say to me, Be the best that you can be and that is all anyone will ever ask of you.†I live by that every day of my life and I instill that same motto into my children. He passed away in 2007 from complications from Diabetes Mellitus and since then, I have made it my mission to further my education and help others in any way in hopes of encouraging them to lead healthier lives. I convinced myself that if I was a nurse I would have been by his side to support him and coach him through his illness and could have prevented his passing. In the fall of 2014, my father was diagnosed with Diabetes Mellitus and was told his pancreas is or has shut down and it would only be a matter of time before he would be insulin dependent. I hope that my education and training will be enough to improve not only his health but also other diabetics. I told myself from the start that failure is not an option and it will never be. I will be the best that I can be and excel in all areas while doing it. Life is about lessons and learning how to take these lessons in stride no matter how difficult they seem.
Through my experience with my grandfather, becoming a nurse is not a decision I made on a whim. It takes sacrifice, selflessness, and ambition to want to save lives. Being a caregiver is something that has come naturally to me. I strive for excellence and have the ambition to succeed at whatever I set my mind to. If I were admitted into the nursing program, I would bring strong academics, diversity, and dedication. Having a strong academic background will prepare me for academic challenges and help me learn what to expect and what is expected of me in the nursing profession. Since starting my prerequisites for this major, my desire for knowledge has been forefront. Critical thinking and time management are skills of mine that I feel are valuable attributes to aspiring nurses in a clinical setting as well as a real hospital setting."
waiting4ivpush
182 Posts
Be more honest with yourself
I'm not good when it comes to talking about myself but I just did a lot of revisions to it and will go over it a few times before submission. Thanks!
Annie143
23 Posts
I think it would strengthen your essay if you provide concrete examples/anecdotes for the characteristics that you mention. Best of luck.