Ensign/Lieutenant relationships.

bb14 · May 11, 2012

This may sound like a really strange question but here is my story and I hope that you can help.
My Daughter is a RN and she recently just joined the the NNC(that would make her pay grade 0-1).I recently found out that she is seeing a Navy Lieutenant Cmmdr.I asked her if that was okay but she was incredibly evasive about it(she is normally very forthcoming about her dates/relationships with me).I really don't want to her do anything stupid(although I would be powerless to stop her because she is a grown woman) So basically my point is:
*Is this Okay (in terms of fraternization etc.)
*...and if not could she be fired?
I know I might seem like a meddling mother but I am incredibly worried and have kept my fears to myself because I am not to educated on the topic and I don not want to upset my daughter. Of course of it is okay for them to be dating then there clearly is another problem to her being evasive and that is obviously another kettle of fish.
Thank you in advance.

Your daughter is dating another officer and this is usually okay in the Navy. The problem is when that officer is in her direct chain of command, as her boss. If that is the case, then there could be a problem. She should not be able to be fired, the worse case would be a court martial, which could result in a dishonorable discharge. When she joined the military she should of taken classes that explained the rules and regulations to her. Fraternization is still frowned upon in the military. I am also not sure why she is being evasive, could he be married?

deftonez188 · May 11, 2012

Just like bb14 said, if he's in her chain of command (if he has some form of supervisory role over her or potential to 'enhance' her career) then its not good. If he's in a different chain of command, no sweat.

Louise25 · May 11, 2012

Thank you so much Bb14 and deftonez.Obviously you both have raised two great concerns and that would be a)He is her boss or b) he is married(something I have thought about but have been to afraid to acknowledge).I hope that her evasiveness stems from it being 'new' (although I doubt it) but short of talking to her (which I will)and warning her of the obvious pitfalls there is nothing much I can do except place faith in the fact that I raised a smart,level headed woman who can hopefully make good choices concerning this.She is very bright and has done so well in her studies and training.I just hope that she doesn't do anything to jeopardize that or her own well being.

You both have been very helpful and a comfort.

nurse2033, MSN, RN · May 12, 2012

Hopefully this guy doesn't work in the same place she does, otherwise she has the same cautions and issues of any workplace romance. Fortunately, since she is of the lesser rank, he is the one that would most likely get into trouble if things go awry.

jeckrn, BSN, RN · May 14, 2012

Rank is an issue here; he is an Field Grade officer and she is a Company Grade officer. The rule of thumb is 2 up/2 down which means a O-4 should not be dating a O-1. If your daughter is a O-2 and the LCDR is not in her chain of command it is techincally Ok for them to date; thier chains of command might have issues though. But since he is a Field Grade officer and she is a Company Grade office this can cause some issues in the social settings. This could place her in settings with O-6's which would be fine for him but not her. If the relationship is determined to be fraternization by the Navy even thou your daughter is of lesser rank she could also be facing charges since she is an officer. If the LCDR is married and she is aware of it she will be held accountable for her knowledge of it and dating a married man. She needs to be speaking with her chain of command on this to ensure that there will be know issues which can damager her career. I hope that everything works out OK for your daughter.