Going too far?

  1. Just wanted to ask anyone if dealing with friends and bring a nurse!

    friend of mine daughter was crying and had a cut in their toe.

    I consoled the daughter as a nurse as was telling her blood happens ESP when they have mosquito bite.
    The father then proceeds to tell me," get away I did enough I'm making it worse". And the daughter cried more when her father was around.
    Question is, would you be offended being ur a nurse trying to help or just say it's a father reacting over his daughter?

    Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com
  2. Visit kellycinalli profile page

    About kellycinalli

    Joined: Jun '12; Posts: 68; Likes: 29


  3. by   Novo
    I had to re-read what you said multiple times. I'm still not quite sure what you're trying to say.
  4. by   kellycinalli
    That being and was trying to help a friends daughter that was hurt because of a scratch and was bleeding that is was ok to bleed and trying to reassure the child.
    The father told me to get away I was making her cry more.
    Would u be offended being a nurse or let it be that the father was upset.

    Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com
  5. by   Ashke
    Hmm...hard to say without understanding the full context of the situation. Maybe the father thought that you were coddling his daughter too much over what he would consider a trivial cut? It would definitely make me feel bad to be talked to in a curt manner. You said you were the friend of the daughter's parent(s)? Maybe you can ask how you were "making it worse." In any case, I would just defer to the parents the next time their daughter got injured and let them deal with it.
  6. by   kellycinalli
    He was dealing with it for 10min them continued
    To talk with friends and ignored her.
    I was telling her it was ok and even I get " boo boos! Then h pretty much embarrassed me and made me feel I was less than a nurse.

    Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com
  7. by   brainkandy87
    I just don't listen to overreactive, dramatic family members. I block them out. If I bothered with listening to someone who has no idea what they're doing, hence them being at the hospital requiring professionals to provide care, I'd never get anything done.

    For example: the other night, someone asked me to start an IV on an ~ 12 month old. So, I roll in and get my stuff set up, cut my tourniquet to size, have another nurse hold the kids arm, and find my vein. I was using a 24g angiocath, so I was using a syringe to draw blood instead of a vaccutainer. This method is much better for a 24g, but it's much messier. I let them know it would probably be a little bloody and if they wanted to step out that was fine, but don't worry as it would be normal. The mom stood in the corner, the grandma sat next to the baby and held her other hand. I insert the IV easily, pull my needle out and hold the cath in place not worrying about holding the vein to prevent bloodflow, as I wanted that thing to stay in place. Get my syringe, start drawing blood. The kid's arm is messy. Normal. As I told them it would be. The mom, absolutely fine. As I'm about to take the syringe off and put my clave on to lock and flush, the grandma yells at me, "TAKE IT OUT! TAKE IT OUT RIGHT NOW! SHE CAN'T TAKE THIS! TAKE IT OUT!" like some obtuse, drunken idiot. I didn't stop what I was doing, didn't look at her, didn't really make any sort of reaction. I simply said, "no" and continued what I was doing.

    Do the patients have rights to refuse or request someone else? Absolutely, and in legitimate cases, I will respect those rights. However, dramatic and overreactive family members get my non-reactive affect where I continue on as if they do not exist. A family member can yell and carry on with me, but they are not the patient and they do not know what is best for that patient. I will not sacrifice good care for a patient, especially a child, because the parent wants to be a horse's rectum. I would have told that father, in a monotone, that it is going to hurt her no matter who is next to her and that we are here to take care of her, this is a part of that process, and if he needs to, he can stand outside the room.
  8. by   Altra
    The textspeak makes your post very difficult to interpret, but I do note that this was not a work situation, but one with a personal friend. You are not that child's nurse, and her father was not interacting with you as such. He was dealing with his child as he saw fit, and asking you to stay out of it.
  9. by   Esme12
    Quote from kellycinalli
    He was dealing with it for 10min them continued
    To talk with friends and ignored her.
    I was telling her it was ok and even I get " boo boos! Then h pretty much embarrassed me and made me feel I was less than a nurse.

    Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com
    I am not sure I would compare it to "blood happens especially when they have a mosquito bite". Now the kids will be hysterical every time they see a mosquito.... .

    To children, ANY would is a mortal would. ANY leakage of body fluid is a fatal wound to them that is why band aids are so important to them......this usually begins to diminish after they start school.

    Distraction is the best medicine. Start taking about friend, sing a song. Ask about pets. Minimizing their injury will not distract their obsession with the bleeding and cut. Telling them you get BooBoo's too means Nada to them.....you aren't their parent and they could care less what you have to say about the matter......they don't even hear you.

    But even I.....a nurse for 34 years, in critical care and emergency medicine, keep my nose out of my friends business unless I am specifically asked to help. The hardest job as a triage nurse in an emergency department is trying to convince the parent of that 16 month old that fell and has a 1 cm chin laceration.......is not an emergency and the child will survive the injury. You will never convince a toddler that any cut/injury/treatment is no big deal.

    My daughter had a fractured arm with an obvious (to me ) deformity (Grrrrrrrr to my husband for not calling me). I came home from working nights to find my 6 year old resting comfortably in a chair calm as can be.......with an ice pack and ibuprofen......she flipped out when I said we had to go to the hospital for an x-ray because she didn't want to go into a scary environment. Now, I personally tell my kids to "buck up" (a phrase for no tears) that is was just a picture of her arm at Mommy's work.

    But with Friends....my advice is to stay out of it. If the situation/parent is out of control(hysteria, screaming) I will take control and tell the parent to settle down they are not helping any and assess what may need to be done like 911, applying pressure, giving a hug or applying ice. But other wise steer clear.

    You aren't less of a nurse but you aren't the parent.

    Keep out of parenting moments......It will save your friendships.
  10. by   kellycinalli
    Thanks. And here I thought I was helping being that the father was ignoring her at the end.
    Will keep myself clean from friends children when they get hurt!
    Btw I was a little incapacitated when wrote this thread and more upset than anything. But today I'm over it and will never interfere again.

    Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com
  11. by   CarryThatWeight
    As a nurse, I would advise you to refrain from posting things on the internet while incapacitated. This was really hard to understand, and remember that nothing on the internet, especially on this website, is private.
  12. by   Ruby Vee
    The text-speak makes the whole post difficult to understand. I understand that you were posting on your phone, but text speak is still against the terms of service.

    Also, I would caution you against using your real picture as an avatar. This whole thread did not present you in the best light, and I'm not sure you'd want it posted in your break room with your picture. If it were me, I would not.