Early recovery and a death in the family

TXRN2 · Oct 3, 2012

while i did not face this exact same thing- the early months of recovery for me were very busy, very hectic- seemed like one thing after another- due to some ongoing family issues. i often remarked that i thought God was keeping me too busy to get in to any trouble!! i can offer you this advice- put your recovery first & foremost. turn it all over to God, let Him take care of you & all the issues. just do the next right thing in front of you, try not to look at the whole picture or you will indeed get overwhelmed.

Hello I was just wondering if anyone has dealt with death of a very close loved one during the early stages of recovery. I just feel so overwhelmed. It's like I am being tested soooo hard and my higher power just wont let up on me. i am strong but how much can one person take.

LilRedRN1973 · Oct 3, 2012

I lost my grandfather, whom I was very close to, at about 7 months sober and 7 months later, my mother passed away suddenly from a ruptured aneurysm. It tested my sobriety, especially since my brother-in-law offered me a chocolate martini just hours after my grandfather passed. At my mother's memorial service, most everyone was drunk, including my little sister, who has been clean off meth for the past 13 years. I could not get a hold of my sponsor that night and left my mother's memorial service early, knowing that it would make some family angry. But it was a matter of self-preservation...had I stayed, I might have attempted to drown my sorrows in drink. Of course, anyone who tries to drown their sorrows by drinking should be taught that sorrow knows how to swim (Ann Landers). :rolleyes:

I've also been through 2 surgeries that required pain meds (opiates were my first drug of choice) and came through stronger because of it. I did lean on many of my support system for help through these times. The day after my mother passed, I was in a meeting yelling about how angry I was that I got sober and 14 months later, my mother died. I wanted to know where the hell God was then! But I came through the other side and found the blessings, which wasn't easy but I did it. Please make sure you are surrounding yourself with people who love and support you. A good friend of mine in the program came home one day, two years ago, to find her son hanging in her house. Both she and him were in the program, although he could never seem to stay sober. She didn't drink. She DID call quite a few women in the program who loved her back from the overwhelming grief. It was bittersweet because he is the one who introduced her to the program of AA when she was drinking herself to death. I now run half marathons in memory of him....her shares at meetings always end the same way. We don't drink, no matter what, no matter what.

*hugs*

catmom1, BSN, RN · Oct 3, 2012

As time goes on, one learns that addictions are no answer to anything but just make pain worse in the long run.

Catmom :paw:

backtowork · Oct 6, 2012

I lost my Mom during the time I was being served with a Board order. I was very angry at life in general and questioned many things about my recovery and my profession. Staying sober was the only sane thing I could think of doing and it worked. Just don't use..just today. It really is the only way to get through a huge loss like yours. Prayers for peace for you and yours.

wish_me_luck, BSN, RN · Oct 6, 2012

I am almost 6 months sober and last night, my dad had a massive MI. He survived and is doing better this morning. I think I am going against the grain here, but typically, when I am stressed and can't handle it, I drink. Well, even though that thought crossed my mind; I thought 'I don't need that'. My dad is not well right now and my other family members are probably as stressed as I am and I don't need to be drinking and end up in the hospital as well and make things worse. My dad has not had a drink in over a year and I think to myself 'If he can do it, then I can do it. He would probably appreciate me abstaining from this and being good than to drink because he is ill right now'. He tells everyone that I am now a nurse and I think he is proud of me, so the last thing I would want to do is jeopardize being a nurse and letting him down.

It's not a death (Thank God and the health care providers), but it's what I got. Prayers in the making for you.

catmom1, BSN, RN · Oct 6, 2012

wish_me_luck, that was an awesome job of thinking things through without acting impulsively. You are on the right track for long term sobriety if you choose it. Well done & best wishes to you dad for a full recovery.

Catmom :paw: