Don't you hate secrets?

[Vtachy1]

I worked in ICU for 15 years and my biggest pet peeve was when families kept secrets or "lets not tell mom about her diagnosis/prognosis". And now in Hospice I've had 2 different families not tell the children. I just hate that!! No amount of teaching seems to help.

[tewdles, RN]

Definitely difficult....you are correct that people get stuck in the denial part of their grief. And we cannot change that.

I try to remember that my relationships with the patient and family MUST be based in trust. So I am honest with the patient, and I am honest and compassionate with the family...even when their hearts are not in the same place.

Then I go to my car and bang my head on the steering wheel.

[mom4josh]

I am a very strong advocate for telling the entire family the truth. My own mother died when I was 22, and I had no idea it was serious enough to take her life. Nobody else seemed surprised, especially her physician. Sucked.