Does it ever get easier?

babynurselsa, RN · Oct 15, 2005

It will never be easy to deliver heart-rending news like this. Try to be proactive for the family. Offer to call clergy, or family. Or just sit and hold her hand. Focus on taking care of the loved one. It is ok to express emotion as long as you, yourself don't fall apart.

With experience it will become somewhat "easier."

OC_An Khe · Oct 15, 2005

It's more doable overtime but unexpected death is never easy. Some will be less hard then others.

KatieBell · Oct 17, 2005

Yes and No.

It gets easier. Like another poster suggested try to be proactive for the family- getting clergy or another family member, making sure if there are children they are somehow occupied (juice, crayons).

It also gets a bit easier to seperate yourself from the job when you leave, though not perfect- there are some things that stick with you. But you know, any tie we have pediatric traumas, all the moms go home and hug their kids a little tighter...

jewelcutt · Oct 17, 2005

I found that when I first started working, I was more numbed to it. But the longer I worked, the easier it was for me to cry. What does get easier is how to support the family. I used to be at a loss for words, how are you supposed to know what to say. Families need to know that you care, I have had many say that although it is very difficult, they were very happy with the care I provided for them and their loved one. I think this helps tremendously. So no, it doesn't necessarily get easier, but should it really get easier to watch someone die? I think there's nothing wrong with crying for a patient and the family's loss (of course without making a scene, and mostly in private).

ClaireMacl · Oct 18, 2005

Yes, experience gives you the knowledge etc to deal with the situation, completely. However, the ED never gets easier, as you progress, you have to deal with more and more difficult situations and death never becomes easy to handle.

It's a hard place to work, but you'll know quickly if its for you or not. I hope you are getting the support you need and are able to speak with senior staff after the event to debrief :)

acgemt · Oct 21, 2005

Thank you everyone for your quick replies. I had a wonderful chat today with my nurse manager who does grief counselling. I found a lot of strength and reassurance in talking to her. I will always remember that moment in the "family room." But thats okay, because it has given me strength and courage to do it again.

November 6th I come off orientation, I can't believe how quickly the time has flown...to think I have been out of school for almost 6 months! It amazes me to think of everything I have learned and been through. For the little bit of time that I do spend with these patients and their families, I have taken so much from them. I learn every bit as much from them as I do my preceptors. The ER may be a hard place to work, but the rewards of seeing that you made a difference in someone's life...you can't put a price on it.

Hope everyone is having a good night out there...be safe, god bless:)

Trauma Columnist · Oct 21, 2005

It sounds as though your manager is a keeper! And...you sound like a winner too. The ER is never an easy place to work. However, if you like it, you love it. It is always important though to have some "you" time. You can't take everything home. My first pedi code was very traumatic for me and to this day (well over 9 years later), I still remember every single second. However, I have come to realize that you must always do your very best and if you can honestly say that you did, it will be okay. Take care...