Do I hate nursing school or just MY nursing school?

commonsense · Oct 8, 2011

Hi everyone, I'm new here and at a crossroads.
I'm a first semester nursing student (ADN program). Just started in August.
I gotta say, I love reading the text book and learning everything. I have almost a 90% average on all my tests and written work. I totallly "get" the way the NCLEX questions work and I love reading NCLEX study guides. To me it's as fun as doing crossword puzzles. Whenever we have a pop-quiz, I get all excited because I usually get 100% on them. I love the people who I study with. I had almost a 3.8 gpa in all my prereqs.
Yet, I'm miserable!! I have an impending feeling of doom before clinicals. That feeling is beginning to seep into other areas of my life. Everyone else in my group seemed really comfortable (or at least they were better at faking it than I was), so it made me question my abilities.
My clinical instructor seems nice enough, except the one time I asked her to clarify how to do a certain assessment. We were not in a clinical setting when I asked for help either. It was the day before! Rather than help me out, she just gave me a clinical deficiency! Later on, she apologized to me and deleted the deficiency, but now I'm completely afraid to ask her for help ever again. I'm paranoid now that she is going to think I'm trying to get special treatment. The truth is I just want to learn!! and I really don't find my teachers to be teaching me at all, and they are far from inspiring. It's a lot of "learn it yourself" attitude, and it's depressing me. I want to learn my skills from people who are good at them, and find my way based on that. I don't like feeliing like I'm doing some "trial an error" on patients. I just don't think it's fair to them.
On top of that, I don't like the way our lab skills classes work. Basically because we don't have any formal lab skills classes. We just go in an practice on our own then make an appointment to test off on skills. I often feel like I'm getting in people's way. Plus, we often don't have enough supplies in the lab. I feel like when I ask my instructors for help or clarification on things, they act as if I haven't tried on my own. They tell us to read the book and watch the DVDs. I feel like I need more "hands on" practice, yet I feel like I'm given a really negative attitude whenever I ask for help.
I am having a hard time just watching a DVD and reading a book and being expected to perform a skill based off of that. Right now, we aren't doing anything major. I'm seriously worried about what I'm going to do when the skills we are performing become more complicated. How am I going to learn to do a trach by just watching a DVD and having a 15 minute supervised practice (if I'm lucky enough to get an instructor's attention that long)?
I'm considering transferring, but I guess I'm afraid I might find the same thing at another school. Without having any experience in other schools, I just can't figure out if I just hate MY school or if it's just nursing school in general and maybe need to think about doing something else. I'd spent close to a decade re-arranging my life so I could do this and saving money so I wouldn't have to work while I attended school, so I'm wondering if I did all this for nothing?
Has anyone else ever left a nursing program they were unhappy with and found another school was a better fit?
What other careers have you considered if you found yourself turned off by nursing because of nursing school?

Be patient, that's the best advice I can give you. Nursing school is not going to be what you expected it to be before you got in, that's just the reality of the situation. It really is a teach yourself kind of learning for the most part, so it's something you'll have to get used to. As far as the teachers go I understand your frustration, it can be tough when it feels like your teachers aren't invested in your education. What worked for me is finding a couple teachers that I liked and respected, and directed all my questions and learning opportunities to them. When practicing for skills try to find a partner or two to practice with, that will help you isolate mistakes you are making. If you and your partners cannot seem to come to a conclusion of something, approach the teacher in a group for clarification (it's harder for a teacher to say no to 3 students than 1). Don't worry about the clinical experiences, just show up each day ready to work and learn. It's going to take some time for you to feel comfortable in the hospital setting, but it will come with time. And don't worry about the patients in your trial and error learning. In the first semester you're not doing anything serious, just bed baths, assessments and vital signs, nobody will be hurt in your trial and error learning.

MissJulie · Oct 8, 2011

So, I don't get along with my clinical instructor either, in fact, I don't think she likes me at all... But, the rest of the program is great. We have great lecture instructors, and our lab instructor is AMAZING, we buy a kit to practice with, so we have a lot of equipment, and we can practice as much as we want, both with instructor and without, then check-off by the deadline.

Clinical makes me nervous, possibly because of the friction with my instructor, but she seems to be that way with all of the students. (I think it's because she is usually with the second-year students that are able to do way more, and she might feel like she has to "babysit" us or something like that.)

Anyway, hopefully it will get better for you and you'll feel more confident. Talk to some people who are ahead of you in the program and see if maybe its just something that passes after you proceed into the program, as in the instructors warm up alittle the farther you get!

But, don't let this discourage you from nursing and nursing school. Good luck! We students have to stick together!

allnurses Guide · Oct 8, 2011

Not all nursing schools are like yours, but you won't find out really until you are IN one - unless you happen to make friends ahead of time somehow. But the stuff right at your school now may be wrong at the next one and vice versa - they all have components that are not ideal.

On skills, find a good group to practice with and as mentioned above, find a faculty member who is sympathetic and patient. As far as getting to more complicated skills, such as doing a trach, you won't actually place a trach. You learn to suction one and clean it - a sterile procedure, but relative simple.

It sounds to me like you have normal jitters. Remember when you feel guilty about your patients that they have the right to refuse a student. If they didn't want you there they would say so. I have found most patients are eager to have a student. It is more personal attention and they like feeling that what they are going through is at least helping someone.

Hang in there.

Pneumothorax, BSN, RN · Oct 9, 2011

to put it bluntly..first semester is where we get smacked around, thrown to the wolves & our thinking changed forever.

what you are feeling is completely normal. Its good that you do well in theory, but use what you learn there and APPLY it to clinical... if you learned what normal v/s are...then keep that in mind when u get a bp and its 70/40.

its ok to feel scared/nervous. after all we do have peoples lives in our hands..its a huge responsibility..be happy you have the opportunity to do some good :)

nurse rizzo · Oct 9, 2011

What you are feeling is normal. Nursing school is intense, and yes most nursing programs what you to learn as much as you can on your own. Good news is, it gets better. You seem to be motivated to learn, that enthusiasm will help you.

During clinicals, it's not just you and your clinical instructor. There's also your nurse and a charge nurse who are there. Yes I know students are supposed to do "total patient care" but there is still a nurse assigned to that patient. If you need help during clinicals, especially since you are new, just ask your nurse. Most nurses, from my experience, are more than eager to teach you. You will occasionally get a nurse who won't help and seem absorbed in their own work, but in my experience most nurses are very willing to teach students who have a good attitude. In fact, once the floor got accustomed to me being there, nurses for other patients will seek me out when they have procedures I want to practice. You're clinical instructor is there to guide you along the way, but he/she is responsible for a large group of people so don't be afraid to ask the staff at your clinical site.

As for labs, it is good to find 1-2 people to practice with. As you go on, a lot of the practice you do will be at home. Students get very creative on how they simulate a lab setting. I recall using an orange when I wanted to practice IM; I used a pen to simulate IV insertion; a large teddy bear for foley catheter; close hangers for IVPB; etc. I also performed physical assessments on all my friends and family (please do not insert IV's, foley's, or perform anything invasive on friends and family) You have to use your imagination a little, but what's happening is that you're training a sequence into your brain. Once you have a good flow, pass you lab assessment, you can then go out and seek out these skills in you clinical setting. Stick with it, there are definitely rewards to what we do. =)

BeenThereDoneThat74, MSN, RN · Oct 9, 2011

from an educator's prospective: it sounds like you like the idea of nursing school, the subject matter and the challenge. what you don't like is the way the school is run, the politics/mentality of it, and the push towards 'self learning'.

i'll speak to the last point i made (and please keep reading, because i will agree with you at some point :) ): from my side of the fence, many students feel they need to be 'sell-taught' in their particular schools. this is a common feeling with all schools. i don't know any school that gives the undivided attention that some students feel they should recieve. take skills lab for example: they are not going to teach the skill one-on-one, and have each student do a return demo one-on-one. part of being an adult learner is doing things on your own; taking the ownness for your learnign experience. the curriculums are way too packed to allot for the individual time in skills lab to go step by step (you'd be in school twice as long as you are now). and yes, some schools are more 'self-taught' than others, but to an extent, all have a 'self-learning' element. no matter how much your tuition is.

you mentioned not being able to learn by just watching videos: you are 100% correct. and adult learner needs to perform a skill an average of of 8 times before they can master it. i am certain that many of my students have not practiced the skill 8 times before they come for testing (as evidenced by the amount of failures). i tell them all the time "you can watch something be done 100 times, but it is not the same until you do it". i use the analogy of driving a car; we watch our parents drive for years, but it's just not the same when we get behind the wheel.

so you're saying there is not ever a formal instruction of the skill, at least once, live and in person? no opportunity to ask questions in at a time specific to learning the skill? if this is the case, i agree that this is a problem.

we instructors field a million questions from students who come to us, having not studied or practiced, wanting help. i refuse to fall into the trap of 'reteaching' a student. i tell them they need to come to me with specific questions/concerns about the issue they are having trouble with.

example: prof, i am having trouble with diabetes (code for, please go over all of diabetes with me)

or

prof: i understand that there are short and long acting insulins, but i'm having trouble understanding when each

is going to peak, and can't understand why they needs to take both types.

see the difference?

i have students flat out ask me "what do we need to do for our writing assignment", when it is in their manual, clearly stated. you'd think they are tired of hearing my voice (i know they look like they are tired of hearing it). after i have directed them (even with a page #) they'll ask again "i still don't know what i have to do". (in this case, i promise you, it's not hard to figure out).

my point is, perhaps you are being stereotyped as one of these people. look around you, and see if your peers are the type that want everything spoon-fed to them. if this is the case, you need to set yourself apart from them, and make sure you are not seen as a leech (sorry to be so blunt).

Ayala · Oct 9, 2011

nurse educate - Thank you so much for your wise words. I just started clinicals and got off to a bad start with my teacher and classmates. I finally asked the clinical lab coordinator (an experienced nurse) what I was doing wrong.

Boy she gave me an honest assessment! I didn't like what I heard, but know she is right on the money. This conversation happened on Friday,and now it's Sunday and I'm still depressed! I realize that it's up to me to change my behaviour. I am filled with self-doubt.

Reading the threads here is like balm for myself. Please send your prayers and good wishes my way!

obprof · Oct 9, 2011

Also, I can add something to the other nurse educator who replied. I teach clinical too and also have many students who ask for information that I previously gave to them. If you have been given information in one of your classes, you are responsible for knowing that information or referring to it. I agree with what the other teacher said but also need to add that when you are working as a nurse, there will be many situations that will be new and you have to critically think about how you will act; not everything is going to be taught to you because they are so many possible situations in real life. Nursing IS a field where you have to be independent and self reliant. Remember people's lives will be in your hands...it is a HUGE responsibility to be a nurse!:)