Do you attend viewings? or funerals?

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Specializes in Med Surg, Hospice, Home Health.

I've just gotten to where I can't bear going to funerals. I guess I eat sleep and breathe decline and death, that I just need to pull away from the funerals and viewings. What is a good way to decline an invitation to the viewing and funeral? I know these families have depended on me for months and months and I know it is hard to pull away...but I have to do this for my own sanity...

any thoughts?

linda

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Are you speaking of patient funerals or any funerals.

I personally NEVER go to funerals anymore.

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Specializes in Emergency.

i have N E V E R been to a funeral in my life. literally. my grandpa died when i was 9..didnt go.. my great aunt actually many of them have died..didnt go.. my bfs grandma died..didnt go. i have never been. and the only one i will go to is my own probably, because if somebody in my immediate family was to die..i wouldnt or should say couldnt go...i could N O T handle that. and thats just me.

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Specializes in RN,CHPN (Certified Hospice Nurse).

I hear what you are saying about funerals. After developing some intense and short term meaningful

relationships with pts/caregivers, I used to feel I was obligated to go. Its true it feels "right" following thru

with the initial grief support by honoring your/my dead patients' funeral.

I now only go for the following reasons: my reasons are personal.

Sometimes I go because I really like the patient and family and if I live in the same town and am available I go.

Sometimes I go because I know the funeral will be sort of a cultural experience.

Sometimes I go because I just need a really good cry and church organs and funerals provoke a strong cry reflex for me! I am not such a good crier and so this is incredible therapy for me.

I do not go anymore for "obligation" alone because funerals can sometimes really bring me "down" or they are, quite frankly, boring as an outsider.

Fortunately we have a terrific bereavement support team and I utilize this.

12 years in hospice is only afforded by maintaining the integrity of my personal space, my values, and emotional connectivity with those I care for, and the ability to "let go" without guilt and the permission to go when it feels right.

When they ask I politely and gracefully tell them I am unable. I find sending a card is helpful and meaningful.

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Specializes in Med Surg, Hospice, Home Health.

thank you all for your responses. I just feel like I am consumed by death and I just can't attend the funerals of my patients.

linda

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