Discouraged

Published

What's up with the nurses week? I got written up for very twisted and ridiculous story that pt's wife made up (and management believed her, not me). It is so ridiculous, I even cried, because it's ok to get in trouble for something you did, but I did not do what she said I did.

I am getting so discouraged, I think about totally quitting and going to school for something more meaningful. For the last two weeks, I was yelled at by the moody doctor; yelled at by fussing wife of the patient; this morning doctor basically grabbed my left breast during rounds, showing that I put lidoderm patch in the wrong spot on my patient (even I put it exactly where pt pointed me at). I don't know how long I will last. I feel like not coming back to work on Monday.

unwanted touch is unwanted touch...ie sexual assault...duh.

as for the crazy pants family member....

I do not know why families are so intent on attacking the VERY person who is caring for their loved one...it completely eclipses logic! However, it further baffles me why anyone in management cannot step back and rEALLY look at the picture....but are soooo quick to blame, castigate, and reprimand the bedside nurse....

One of the things I did when I would get negative feedback from the family, is that I started charting the incidents of disagreement, or family behaviours etc. in the nursing notes....as part of the medical record. It saved me many times from being falsely accused by a family member. One time I had a family member go to my boss and accuse me of coercing her mother to be taken off of life support. The truth was, the patient grabbed my arm every time I approached the bedside, and despite ventilatory support, the patient was wide awake and mentally decisional, ie no drugs on board, and she would request in writing to me that she wanted to be taken off the vent and just be made comfortable. My idiot boss at the time decided I was nurse Kevorkian or something, and called me on the carpet for it....so I said, "hang on a minute..let me get the chart".....I showed her entry after entry where the patient was mouthing words of "let me die" and "writing notes to RN 'let me off the machine'. "......once the boss got the picture of the other side of this controversy, she was better able to see the truth....

I don't know if you can chart this way....but it might be assistive should a family member question your care, or interaction with them or the patient.

I have often charted, "Son of patient angry, saying "I am going to sue you all"...etc....or daughter of patient upset re: lack of linen changes per day, states" your hospital is a pig sty" .....then if they complain about me personally, I can show that many times the family members are just upset people looking for a scapegoat....

It is a shame when people do this...

My suggestion is to try to thicken your skin a little....and realize that idiot bosses and ignorant family members do not define who you are as a nurse....

You are defined as a nurse by your heart, soul, training, and dedication to your patients. They cannot touch that, unless you let them....

be better, do better, and rise above this....you are stronger than you think you are.

lovingly, crni

Thank you for your kind words. I really doubt my abilities to be a nurse anymore. I am terrified to come back to work Monday.

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Specializes in Sub-Acute/Psychiatric/Detox.

Once someone grabs or touches you it is 100% unacceptable. Period. I don't care if he was the Surgeon General. The behavior of this doctor should be addressed in 2 forms. 1 Sexual Harrasment, and 2 just being a pompous jerk. It seems to me that HE wanted the lidoderm patch placed in a certain area, which may or may not have been clinically revelent to to the situation. Not with standing that issue, it is not like you put the lidoderm patch on the patients head or something.

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Once someone grabs or touches you it is 100% unacceptable. Period. I don't care if he was the Surgeon General. The behavior of this doctor should be addressed in 2 forms. 1 Sexual Harrasment, and 2 just being a pompous jerk. It seems to me that HE wanted the lidoderm patch placed in a certain area, which may or may not have been clinically revelent to to the situation. Not with standing that issue, it is not like you put the lidoderm patch on the patients head or something.

He had so squeeze his hand between my breast and arm to show where exactly he want the patch (on a pt's side). I said I put it where pt said it hurt. I don't think it was sexual, I was more like manekin for him. But it felt uncomfortable.

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Specializes in ORTHOPAEDICS-CERTIFIED SINCE 89.

Touching is BATTERY.

Threat to touch is assault. Put them together= a&b and totally illegal and immoral. Write him up.

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Wow! It sounds like you're having a really rough week. I'm truly sorry to hear that and for you that you're having to endure it. Some of my coworkers have allowed I must be carrying around some bad mojo myself...pretty much sucks sometimes but I'm making it ok and haven't been subject to A&B. Whether he intended to use you as a mannequin or not in attempts to get his point across, he should have gained your PERMISSION to do so, that's why it was uncomfortable for you. He needs to be written up or at the very least you need ot have a direct face to face conversation about his actions and how it made you feel, it's unacceptable. The old "Dr. X when you did ___________ it made me feel ________ and in the future I would appreciate it if you did _________ instead." However, it sounds like you're in a tough enough position right now that you may not be up to that and a written report may be easier to manage for you. But for future incidents it would be a good idea if you would do some practice in front of a mirror and role playing with someone who can be sympathetic and supportive so you'll be able to build the confidence it takes to carry through with some assertiveness if something like this were to happen again.

As for patients/families makgin things up, I don't think there's any cure for that. I can only say I'm sorry you're having to go through this. It would be helpful if management would look at a person's track record when getting reports like this from distraught family members.

{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}

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Specializes in nursery, L and D.

If your nurse manager is so unapproachable that you feel you can't talk with her after she has written you up, then you need to find another job. I would be looking for one, PDQ. Give that a try before you decide to leave nursing altogether. It sounds like the place you are, the family members, nm, and docs are jerks. Get out of that place! Find a good one. I am so sorry you are going though this.:icon_hug:

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Specializes in Hospice, Med/Surg, ICU, ER.
If your nurse manager is so unapproachable that you feel you can't talk with her after she has written you up, then you need to find another job. I would be looking for one, PDQ. Give that a try before you decide to leave nursing altogether. It sounds like the place you are, the family members, nm, and docs are jerks. Get out of that place! Find a good one. I am so sorry you are going though this.:icon_hug:

:yeahthat: (emphasis mine)

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If anyone grabbed my breast in the work place, I would charge them with sexual harassment. Bottom line. No debate. End of story!!!!!:angryfire

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