Difficult patients and families

[bunky]

This is something that I don't see discussed in much detail here, and I am thinking to myself that maybe I am just a b***h, but do you ever get really irritated by your patients and/or their families? Do you ever feel that your hospital should be putting postcards in their patient info packets as these people act like they are on some all inclusive vacation and that the "H" on top of the building stands for Holiday Inn or Hilton? Please respond and let me know that I am not the only "evil" one who thinks this way sometimes.

[pwp1289]

poor mom who was elderly and ready to go home with family--dgt A could no longer care for mom but held the bank books--dgt B would take mom home but now she wanted the bank books--not so said dgt A so they had YELLING-SCREAMING-CHAIR AND WATER PITCHER -THROWING match right over moms head who was oblivious to the whole thing--police were called and escorted the whole family out--mom and her bank books wound up in nsg home instead of with family

[alli]

One time we had a patient that needed to use the urinal often, so as a test the family member pushed the call light to see how long it woluld take someone to come. There were 3 RN's working and 2 orderlies. It was one of my patient and I was busy in another room with a blood transfusion and a pateint getting ready to code. When I left that room to get something the patient's daughter says to me "I was doing a test to see how long it would take for someone to come, my father's has been waiting for someone for half an hour for help with the urinal, it;s a good thing I'm here now because I can help him but what will happen tonight?" I almost lost it. I told her that there would be someone to help him. She said well you know as soon as the light comes on you have to answer right away"

I felt like saying ya lady your father definently needs the closest care tonight becasue I don;t have any sick patients. Of course you can't say that but I was soooo furious.

[hock1]

I try really hard to 'kill em with kindness', but the other day I blew it. The doc had just walked out of this patient's room, caught it out of the corner of my eye. I suspected pt was to be discharged. Unfortunatley I had a patient to transfer to ICU...didn't take but 10 minutes my unit is right next door. As soon as I got back, the family member came charging into the nurses station demanding the discharge papers. She had been "waiting to leave". I lost it. I told her the rules of prioritizing nursing care. I had to care for my pt who was in need of emergency care first before paperworking her loved one out of the room. No apology from me regarding her horrible 15minute wait. I also added that somebody was waiting for the bed and I would be hurring asap to clear the room for somebody who was in desperate need for it. She left discussed. I did the paperwork and got em out asap, turned around and admitted the next person after the room was cleaned. One nurse told me, 'you go girl'. Yet another just looked at me with the 'your written up if they complain' look. Oh well, I believe in apologies etc, but not when they are unreasonable. Wish I could have felt better about the moment, but I didn't.:angryfire

[mattsmom81]

I know how you feel, VHope...sometyimes we are driven to our limits by the pressures we work under, and it is only human for us to feel overwhelmed sometimes when family members or patients persist in unreasonable, 'me me' demands.

What bothers me most are the nurses who 'suck up' to the demanding people ...AND those who even go so far as to deliberately 'take their side' and/or feed resentment against another shift or individual nurse. So unprofessional...as well as dysfunctional. I see waaaay too much of this.

[Daqueengene]

I agree with many of you in that demanding patients and families can be a definate strain on the daily work load and time management for pt care. I am somehwhat troubled though by many of the negative remarks regarding pts and their families. (burn out!:angryfire ) I think that this reinforces that nurses are over worked underpaid and expected to be everything to all people, professional expert clinician, johnny or joannie on the spot at all times, caretaker, care giver, fluffer, puffer, beautician, therapist, babysitter, secret code breaker ( physician hand writting decoder), communications expert, expert orafice cleaner, toenail clipper, linnen changer, coffee giver and generally professional door mat for Dr.s, Patients, families, administrations and each other.

As long as we continue to work this way we will be worked this way. We have become part of the problem and not part of the solution.:uhoh21: Families need care too when they have a loved in the hospital. We cannot look at them as the enemy. We have to find a way to work with them and to help them help themselves. We cannot be smart mouthed and terse with them. There will always be families that we cannot get through to. There will always be problem patients but these are some of the challenges of nursing. I know each and everyone of you out there give 100% of yourselves.

I know much of this thread is blowing off steam which is something we all need to do to stay sane and to keep getting up and going into work when we know that we are going to walk out feeling used abused and unable to give the kind of care we really want to give. But remember that you DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE in the lives of the people you care for and their families. When you can take the time to do something for someone dont look at it as demeaning or not part of your job but look at it as a kindness that you have the power to give and maybe someday that person will see it as that and then understand just how great you were. Keep up the good work, speak out for nurses rights make a difference in the lives of other nurses and their patients.

:balloons: