Depressed over worked. Need advice

[sweetresq]

So this is going to be my first post ever on this site. I have been trying to come to terms with a lot lately and have no idea where to turn.

I currently work over 60 hrs a week in two different jobs. I work for a home infusion company full time and in an ICU part time. My boyfriend is in law school. I suffer from bad migraines that really interfere with my life in every aspect. Recently about 2 weeks ago my migraine was so intense I landed in an ER. The pain I had caused me to projectile vomit for hours. I had to work the next day on call for my infusion job. So I was telling my boss what was going on in case coverage needed to be found for me the next day. Her supervisor texted me and told me she was going to pull me off on call the next day but she still needed me, if i could work, to work and do some admissions. I said yes I will and I even asked her several times she was sure she wanted to pull me off on call. Anyways, a week later I was in a car accident on my way to a client's house. Long story short, it wasn't my fault and I ended up in the ER again the next Friday with a doctor's note excusing me from work. Well I ended up getting a written warning for too many absences.

I was devastated! First off, how could I have prevented a car accident, or projectile vomiting and a migraine??? My boss then proceeded to bring my other job and my personal life saying, maybe full time is too much for you. You can always go down to per diem... That was none of her business. What even more ironic, is I never make my full time hours because they never give me enough clients! Or they will give me some clients then make me sit in the office for hours doing modules or paperwork. It is sooo frustrating!

I need the money, but my anxiety level is through the roof! I started the home infusion job in June and the ICU job in August. Both new. I am stressed. I don't know what to do. I have gained 20 lbs, my heart rate is always elevated, I don't enjoy many things anymore. Sometimes I feel like whats the point, why am I even a nurse anymore. I just want to cry all the time and that has never been me.

I need advice.

[MomRN0913]

First, breath. Second, you don't need to go from 60 to 0. I think if you cut back to normal hours you would not feel that much better! It's not all or nothing in the nursing profession. And there is certainly no job that is worth your health. While it is wrong for you to get written up for er visits and car accidents, I think perhaps she does have a point saying 2 jobs is too much. It looks like it is indeed affecting your health which aside from the car accidents, may cause your migraines. It's a valid observation. Remember, your health first.