Dealing with nasty OB

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Hi all.

I am in my fifth week of orientation and have come across the nightmare OB of the unit. She is known by all to be rude, unprofessional and condenscending to all staff. Of course I have the priviledge of crossing paths and on two separate occasions she has been rude. It is obvious she does it for pleasure. I will give an example: Her c/s was scheduled for 1245, she knew I was being oriented (my preceptor told her we will be a little while with admission) We get done the admission, and are in the OR (of course OB wanted to start early to be spiteful) at 1215 and an emergency case is called for next door. Our case was held due to having only one anesthesiologist available. OB states well we would have been in here at 1200 but the shave and foley took awhile. My preceptor says "no, we were waiting for anesthesiology she was like not uh. Then she watches as I am pouring water for the OR tech saying what when I called out the date...(none of her business of course) and there is one other incident along the same lines. I haven't done anything wrong and am trying to learn my job...however, was told by many staff to 'put her in her place' and then she will leave me alone.. Any suggestions of what I should say? I think I will have to work with her again tomorrow unfortunately.....

Specializes in L&D.

In therapy I learned to use "I" messages. Avoid "always" and "never" and other generalizations. Speak to a specific incident. Say what you want/expect in future interactions.

"I felt.......when you.......In the future I'd appreciate it you'd .................

Practice what you want to say. Keep it simple. Say what you planned to say and stop. Ask to speak to her in private when you're ready to talk to her, unless you have reason to want a witness present. Do this every time she violates your boundaries.

Physician harrassment/retaliation is an up and comming issue and is being given increased attention by our professional organizations. Be prepared to write up the person if the behavior is repeated frequently.

By the way, if the example you gave is from the "nightmare OB" of your hospital, you're lucky.

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

Thanks...I will try that...

The last thing I want to do is stoop to her level...

Oh, I know my run-ins with her are NOTHING compared to how she can really be....scary thing is though that I got those comments by simply standing there....not even working directly with her. I can't imagine what she says when I have to do something for her...UGH.. I like the physician/harrassment 'movement'....thanks for tip.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

Here is a great book I personally own that helped me deal with all manner of difficult people from doctors to my own parents:

http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Idiots-Guide-Verbal-Self-Defense/dp/0028627415

It really helped me. It's called The Complete Idiot's Guide to Verbal Self-Defense. Not implying you are at all an idiot, but it is really a helpful reference.

I wish you the best.

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I was an OB nurse long before epidurals were common. My favorite patients are the Moms who chose no meds, I love helping Moms labor. That being said, it does not mean I "enjoy" seeing women in pain as one physician said to his epiduralized patient. For some reason, it annoys him that I love helping women with comfort measures. He would often tell patients that "the old nurses" do not like epidurals. I spoke with him privately and told him I was offended by his remarks. I said that patients do not care what nurses like and don't like and his remarks make them question the care they are receiving. I told him I strive to give the best care possible to my patients. He replied that he would "take my remarks into consideration". I didn't know what that meant but in the couple of years since our exchange, he has never mumbled to the patient about my views for my benefit again. So it does pay to speak up and use the " I " terminology and remain factual and calm.

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Specializes in OB; NBN; SCN.

We had an MD who was famous for being nasty if you woke him up. As a night nurse, and a patient advocate, I had to call him many times. For a while I just ignored his attitude and called anyway (I've got teenagers, he didn't scare me). Finally, one night after placing a cervidil, he asked if I needed anything (other orders, etc), I replied that I would just call him, demonstrating by holding a phone receiver at arms length. He just looked at me, then profusely appologized if he ever came across as rude. I made a deal with him, I'd only call him if I needed him, and he'd sign any reasonable order that I wrote. We went over a few things, and have never had a problem since. The joke broke the ice far better than if I "bit back". Don't lower yourself to his standards, be professional, but stick up for yourself. You shouldn't have to work with anyone who can't be professional. Also, does your Manager back you up, can she advocate for you? Use your resources!

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Our unit of course has a nasty OB too. This Doctor will FIND something to correct you on. I've never had a delivery with this doctor where she didn't point out something really stupid that SHE thinks is wrong or could be done better. It's so frustrating. I try to "kill her with kindness" Funny think is...this OB use to be a nurse.

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Specializes in NICU/L&D, Hospice.
Our unit of course has a nasty OB too. This Doctor will FIND something to correct you on. I've never had a delivery with this doctor where she didn't point out something really stupid that SHE thinks is wrong or could be done better. It's so frustrating. I try to "kill her with kindness" Funny think is...this OB use to be a nurse.

Exact same situation where I work. She always thinks she needs to micromanage the nurse's care...all the way down to telling you to put a mantainance order in for a piece of equipment needing repair...even though you already did it (and of course, it's all said infront of the patient).:smackingf

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Specializes in Maternal - Child Health.
Exact same situation where I work. She always thinks she needs to micromanage the nurse's care...(and of course, it's all said infront of the patient).:smackingf

The smart alek in me would offer the former nurse-now MD the opportunity to remain at her patient's bedside in order to personally manage every aspect of her care. All said in front of the patient, of course.

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