Critique this resume please - Don't pull punches!


Need a little critiquing here on a resume and cover letter for an out-of-work friend. Dates are accurate, but the names are changed to protect the innocent:

Cover Letter:

Jane Doe, RN

999 New Range Street

Country, ST 99999-9999

(999) 999-9999 (H)

(999) 999-9999 ©

Month 9, 2013

Human Resource Manager

Health Care Facility

Capital City, ST

Dear Human Resources Professional,

I am enclosing my resume to your recent advertisement for a Registered Nurse found on the website. As my resume indicates, I possess more than 30 years of progressive experience in the health care and general nursing fields. My professional history includes positions such as Registered Nurse Supervisor at Always-Ready Health Care as well as Staff Registered Nurse at Contract Health Services.

I believe that my qualifications fit the job requirements listed in your ad. Let me highlight a few of these qualifications:

● Supervised LPN's and CNA's

● Taken initiative for front-line problem solving while working along and in group settings.

● Extensive patient care experience in home health and institutional environments.

● In-depth knowledge in administration that included admissions, assessments, treatments, referrals, and education for a wide variety of patients.

● Consulted and coordinated with health care team members to assess, plan, implement and evaluate patient care plans as well as prepared patients for, and assisted with, examinations and treatments.

● Frequent commendations by patients and families for providing exceptional care.

● Maintained accurate, detailed reports and records requiring attention to detail.

Though my resume is detailed and comprehensive, it cannot fully demonstrate the manner in which I have achieved success. Character, personality, and the ability to work in a team environment can be demonstrated in a personal meeting. I would welcome an interview at your earliest convenience. Thank you for your time and consideration. I am certain that I would become a valuable addition to your staff.

Respectfully yours,

Jane Doe


enclosure: resume


Jane Doe, RN

999 New Range Street

Country, ST 99999-9999

(999) 999-9999 (H)

(999) 999-9999 ©


Advanced Registered Nurse with 30 years experience with various nursing fields such as home health, geriatrics and psychiatrics. Additional expertise includes management and staff supervision. Strong desire to focus on preventative care and health education.


Registered Nurse in local state, License number 9999999999

Basic Life Support (BLS) Certification 2011 to present

CPR certified through American Heart Association

ENT certified 1982 to 1984

Skill Highlights:

● Good assessment skills

● Familiarity with disease management programs

● IV infusion experience

● Psych and mental health care proficiency

● Patient teaching skills

● Can work alone or in teams during emergencies

● Good listening skills

● Strong medical ethic


Contract Health Services, Inc.

Victory, ST

Staff Registered Nurse

July 2009 to Current

● Managed medication line for 300-plus inmates under contract at State Correctional Facility.

● Provided preventive, supported and emergency care for 1,200 inmates and 100-plus employees.

● Assisted physicians with examinations and procedures.

● Performed quality assurance on patient's charts.

Working Medical Facilities

Farmburg, ST

Staff Registered Nurse

June 2002 to December 2009

● Managed medications line for 500-plus inmates under contract at various correctional facilities.

● Managed and operated the women's farm pharmacy for two years.

● Provided preventive, supportive and emergency care for inmates and staff.

● Assisted physicians with examinations and procedures.

American Nursing Placement, Inc.

Capital City, ST

Staff Registered Nurse

August 1993 to June 2005

● Worked off-hours alone in preparing, recording and distributing medications for over 500 inmates under contract at various correctional facilities.

● Provided preventive, supportive and emergency care for inmates and staff on off-hours.

● Assisted with standards for institutional audits.

Always-Ready Health Care

Country, ST

Registered Nurse Supervisor

September 1990 to October 2002

● Supervised 4 Licensed Practical Nurses and 20 Certified Nurse Assistants.

● Trained CNA's on body mechanics and routine care.

● Assisted the staff coordinator in daily operations of the firm.

● Performed home-health patient assessments, admissions and teaching.

State Corrections Center

Country, VA

Staff Registered Nurse

March 1986 to August 1990

● Responsible for preparing, recording and distributing medications for over 1,000 inmates.

● Executed daily operations of intakes, sick calls, lab work and emergency care.

● Maintained facility medication stockroom and accurate, detailed reports and records.

● Performed duties as temporary DON for three months.

Local Community Hospital

Farmburg, ST

Obstetrics Nurse

August 1982 to February 1986

● Delivered infants and provided prenatal and postpartum care and treatment under obstetrician's supervision as charge nurse from 11pm to 7am.


Local State Community College NearTown, ST

Associate of Applied Science - Nursing



111 Posts

Although, I too, posted a request for resume help, I do have somewhat of a business background, so I would say to make sure your cover letter does not repeat info from resume....and I would remove the bulleted points in the letter. Otherwise..WOW. Maybe, you as an experienced nurse could comment on MY post on this form: Second Career Student!? Thanks!!!

Specializes in CCM, PHN. Has 8 years experience.

Thank you thank you thank you - for a GORGEOUS résumé!!!!! Finally, a résumé posted to AN that's not cringe-inducing!!!

Move your education up to the top. KEEP the bullet points, just cut down the amount of them. And, add a volunteer section. Otherwise, PERFECT!!!!!


86 Posts

Thank y'all for the replies. I read them to my nursing friend and they really boost her morale up a lot. The idea of doing some volunteer work during her jobsearch appealed to her - she really wants to get back into doing nursing in some way or fashion! She's also looking into lining up what she needs to get her BSN so she'll be more marketable.

Since the initial posting, some changes were made. One is adding a Testimonial section with a couple of quotes from former employers just below the Skill Highlights section. Another is inserting a brief one-or-two sentence statement why my friend was hired to each job (not a job description) and turned the bulleted items to show how she exceeded the job expectations. I really had to dig down deep to get my friend to explain why she was hired at these jobs - folks in the "Silent Service" are more talkative than nurses are about their jobs! The good news she got three job interviews this week. One of which wanted her to ask me to fax a personal letter of reference. So things are moving in the right direction.

Now the challange is make the necessary changes so her resume can beat out the ATS 'bots and read up a bit on it. Some online applications where you copy and paste a resume into a box maybe are ATS related. So for right now my basic rule is: if an online application is requesting to include a copy-n-paste resume, then I use a "long-form" resume with all relevent details since the application has them already. If the job is just asking for a resume that makes me think I'm looking at a "blind ad" then a "short-form" resume is used highlighting her last ten years.

Keep those cards and letters coming!