I am in a tricky situation - I have a staff person who was recently diagnosed with a stage 3 cancer. She had a major surgery around 3 weeks before the start of school and just had her first round of chemo this past week. Myself and the admin assistant have been frequently reminding her that she needs to take whatever time off she needs, sort of silently encouraging her to independently come to the conclusion that she should take her FMLA and invoke her ST disability insurance.
She was initially optimistic about how chemo would affect her as she basically had no side effects on the first day after, however through the weekend she was in intense pain and she decided to take today and tomorrow off in hopes that she can return on Wednesday. I don't know what her chemo schedule is like yet (I don't know that she knows yet either), and as we all know there are lots of other appointments and treatments etc. that goes along with such a serious diagnosis.
We are very concerned now that if she is to have weekly treatments, she may only get one good day a week, and we really don't want her to feel like she needs to spend it at school. In reality, she may just need to take that day to rest as much as possible to prepare for her next treatment!
Selfishly, it would be a lot easier to know that she won't be here so we can try and hire a long term sub. We love this woman dearly and we just want her to realize that her health should be her priority right now. I have been asked to have a heart to heart with her about it, and I just have never had to counsel someone this way before and feel a little uneasy. Has anyone else been in this position personally or professionally?
Myself and the admin assistant have been frequently reminding her that she needs to take whatever time off she needs, sort of silently encouraging her to independently come to the conclusion that she should take her FMLA and invoke her ST disability insurance.
Is she your employee or are you in charge of staffing her position when she is out? Because otherwise, it's not your place.
On 9/12/2022 at 10:35 AM, k1p1ssk said:
she may only get one good day a week, and we really don't want her to feel like she needs to spend it at school. In reality, she may just need to take that day to rest as much as possible to prepare for her next treatment
"We don't want her to feel she needs to spend it at school." OK but what about how SHE feels???
On 9/12/2022 at 10:35 AM, k1p1ssk said:
Selfishly, it would be a lot easier to know that she won't be here so we can try and hire a long term sub. We love this woman dearly and we just want her to realize that her health should be her priority right now. I have been asked to have a heart to heart with her about it, and I just have never had to counsel someone this way before and feel a little uneasy.
Yes, you're being selfish. Once again not sure how this is putting YOU out unless she works under you or with you. Whomever is asking you to talk to her obviously doesn't want her there either and why can't they do it? That's dangerous territory if she starts to feel you all don't want her there and everyone keeps "encouraging" her to stay home if she doesn't want to and she starts to feel like she's being pushed out against her will infringing on her rights.
Maybe she doesn't have enough sick time built up, maybe that one or two days a week keeps her from feeling depressed and gets her mind off things, maybe she enjoys her job and just wants to be there and hates she has to miss at all but at least working a day or two here and there helps her cope with a very uncertain scary time in her life. You don't know. You've already "talked" or "encouraged" her more than once it seems so if I were you, I'd let it go and step away.
RatherBHiking, BSN, RN
592 Posts
Is she your employee or are you in charge of staffing her position when she is out? Because otherwise, it's not your place.
"We don't want her to feel she needs to spend it at school." OK but what about how SHE feels???
Yes, you're being selfish. Once again not sure how this is putting YOU out unless she works under you or with you. Whomever is asking you to talk to her obviously doesn't want her there either and why can't they do it? That's dangerous territory if she starts to feel you all don't want her there and everyone keeps "encouraging" her to stay home if she doesn't want to and she starts to feel like she's being pushed out against her will infringing on her rights.
Maybe she doesn't have enough sick time built up, maybe that one or two days a week keeps her from feeling depressed and gets her mind off things, maybe she enjoys her job and just wants to be there and hates she has to miss at all but at least working a day or two here and there helps her cope with a very uncertain scary time in her life. You don't know. You've already "talked" or "encouraged" her more than once it seems so if I were you, I'd let it go and step away.