What's the funniest thing you've seen on a sick call

Specialties Correctional

Published

I think the one who put his cell phone number on the space that said cell number.

I was doing chart reviews and came upon this request, The request went like this:

I (Name removed) rail'd a line of powder juice mix up my nose and it hurt like (explitive) hell and since I confessed my sin and even though the state of agony I was in was just punishment, can we have our salt and pepper back please, I give you my word that there will be no more of that?!?!

I was in tears and I'm sure the deputies wondered what the laughter was all about coming from my office. I blacked out the names and forwarded this on to my boss to put into her book of things you only see in corrections. Every day is a new day! That's what I love about the field.

Specializes in Hospice, corrections, psychiatry, rehab, LTC.

A couple come to mind. I was on night shift, and we counted, triaged and sorted medical kites. One inmate requested Viagra, because he was about to be released and he wanted to be "ready for action". Another inmate said that he was losing his hair, and he wanted something to help grow it back.

The thought has crossed my mind about collaborating with correctional colleagues and writing a book about all of the strange and downright stupid things that we have seen and heard. My definition of "stupid" has been rewritten several times over the years. The leader in the clubhouse has to be the two youth offenders who kept a pet sidewinder in a box in their cell. This was discovered when one of them was bitten by it. Inmates in the unit told the escorting officer that they walked it around the tier on a leash made out of shoestrings.

Specializes in Nephrology Home Therapies, Wound Care, Foot Care..

Something along the lines of , I got rash between my ass cheeks and it hurts like hell, I want some cream for it. I don't want that shi$ that don't work, I want the good shi$ that works and makes it better.

The ones that break my heart are those written by the illiterate inmates, that I cannot read at all, it's no wonder they can't function on the outside. I just have to hope they will get a sick call on days. í ½í¸¢

Inmate...."I have anthrax all over my back!"

Me..." oh! May I see it?" I didn't see anything

Me " Does it hurt.?"

Inmate "No".

Me "How do you know it's there?

Inmate"I just know"

Me " Want me to fix it?"

I/m "Yes please"

Milk of mag and a gloved hand cured anthrax that day.

I love my job!

Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.

I received a kite once that said, among other hard-to-decipher things "My gurds are raddeling." I had the inmate brought to see me. He was from an African country and his English spelling was a bit off (but still better than a lot of inmates.) He clarified that his "guts were rattling." A little Mylanta and he was a new man.

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