Clinical Instructor from Hell

[VALila]

Hello Everyone,

I am in an accelerated nursing program with 3 and a half months left until I receive my BSN. I have learned a lot in the last year and am hoping to make it really far in nursing.

That said, I am currently being sabotaged right now by my clinical instructor. I know, I know; this sounds like another "complaining" session but I'm really not here to vent. (Well maybe a little) I have been nothing but respectful and optimistic towards her and have always thanked her for her "constructive" criticism in the past. I have done extra credit projects for her just for the hell of it (on top of all of the piles of care plans and assessment projects that we have to do just to stay afloat in this program) but it's getting to the point where she is now insulting my character in front of floor nurses, graduate students, and the other students in my clinical group. I have never cried in front of her but I almost did yesterday because I'd had enough.

My clinical instructor has certain people that she favors over others but she definitely does not like ME. To the best of my knowledge, I am the only person in my clinical group who is having to go through this.

Example: Yesterday I was sent into a room with my pediatric patient to do my graded Head-To-Toe assessment on him. I was prepared; I knew all of my landmarks, I gave my instructor a decent environmental and general survey of him, I was creative, I played with the child while I assessed him. He was happy. My instructor (and the grad student that she had with her) told me that they were going to be a "fly on the wall" during my assessment and let me "do my thing." So I did...until she started jumping in, playing with my kid, telling me that I needed to change his diaper while I was listening to HEART sounds...completely distracting me. After she would distract me by playing with my patient, she would then try to "prompt" me in what I should do for my assessment, even though I've already one it hundreds of times and know what I'm doing and what I need to look for. I understand that no one is perfect and maybe she was trying to prepare me for the "real world." I'm smart enough to know that nothing will ever go as planned. The problem was, I kept having to re-orient myself and to do so, I had to verbally talk myself through the assessment while I was doing it, at the same time that I was explaining my procedures to my peds patient. After the assessment, she pulled me aside out into the hallway in front of the nurses' station (and in front of my classmates) and told me that even though I was "very smart," I was not "involving" the patient enough in my assessment and that I appeared to have "no self esteem." Everyone heard this and this was only at 8:00 a.m. Needless to say, my day was ruined from the start.

I might as well add in here that I was singing to my patient during the assessment, letting him play with trucks, touch my stethescope before I used it on him, explaining everything to him in "kid terms," tickling him, and giving him stickers for being a "good boy." All this and she dared to tell me that the psychosocial part of my assessment "was non-existent."

On top of that insult and the blow to my "self esteem," she told me that she was going to fail me for my assessment and that even though I wasn't going to get any better of a grade, I have to do another assessment with her. Even worse, one of my friends who didn't even know the location of the femoral artery was told that she needed to "sharpen up," but that she did not have to do another assessment with her.

I am at the end of my rope. I have tried so hard to be on her good side. I have always thanked her, always turned in my assignments on time, always gone the "extra mile," and have told her what she needed to hear about my patients and more. Some of the people in my clinical group are complete idiots and she treats them better than she does me. It is getting to the point where I no longer even want to think about nursing after I finish this program. I have been through a lot of things: Close family members dying, cancer, multiple surgeries, getting cheated on by my ex-fiancee, losing my best friends. I am still OPTIMISTIC. I had so much hope for myself in this and I know that I'm a strong person but dammit, I do not deserve this at all. I did nothing to her. I wish that she would go after someone in my group who needs to be brought down a peg or two. (And there are several.)

In a way, I kind of think that I know what my advice will be but I am just so sick of this happening to me. I've lost my appetite, am now having anxiety attacks even at home in bed, and am about to go in for counseling. Please, somebody tell me what else I can do besides continue to kiss her ass. She hates students who confront her on her behavior and will not hesitate to go on the attack against anyone who does not act like they are in love with her. I just want to pass this clinical but she is honestly starting to ruin my life.

Oh and p.s: Going to other professors or the Dean of the School of Nursing is out because they're all in cahoots with one another and would never stand up for me.

[Anne36, LPN]

Im not a nursing student yet, but I hope you dont mind if I ask something.

Have any of the other students in your class noticed this? What do they have to say?

[CrunchRN, ADN, RN]

Wow - that makes my nsg. school look easy. Quite the high expectations she had. I had a couple of those teachers myself. I was the 2nd top student in the class and well liked, but they just didn't like me on sight. You just have to try to work it out with them. Sit down with them and (ugh kiss ass) let them know how hard you are trying and find out EXACTLY what you can do. Speak with kinder ones too so that they know and can give input. Then, once you graduate, never look back. I did not go to my graduation because of this reason. And because the school knew about their unfair actions and turned the other way.

The only important thing is that you pass their class and graduate.

Many will say to try to fight it and stand up, blah, blah, blah, but the ones in my class who did that disappeared and never made graduation. So do what you have to do and then be done with them would be my advice.

[llg, PhD, RN]

Anne36 asks a great question. Maybe all of her students feel the same way. She may just be a difficult instructor and you are taking it personally because of the general stress in your personal life.

It's one thing if everyone feels pressured by her ... and quite another thing if they feel she is an "easy" instructor who treats you differently than them.

Also ... the fact that you played with the kid while you assessed him does not mean you did a psychosocial assessment. One has almost nothing to do with the other. The fact that your OP suggested they are closely related makes me suspect that maybe some of her criticisms of your work were legitimate. I know you are upset now (and venting), but your OP suggests that you are perfect and have done everything perfectly -- very rare for a student. Can you be objective about your performance and her feedback? Maybe the "truth" lies somewhere in between the 2 extreme possible interpretations: that's often the case.

[VALila]

Hello,

In terms of how I view myself and my assessment skills, I really don't think that I'm great at all. I was surprised when she told me that I was "smart" because I was expecting her to tell me that I needed a lot more knowledge and skills. I have a B.A. in Psychology and I was a summer camp counselor for 7 years so I tend to feel that I'm better off at interacting with my patients than I am with actual "hands on" nursing.

We weren't being graded on our "psychosocial assessment" of the child; that was included in the general survey. She was grading us on how much we included our patient in our assessment and interacted with them on their level. She told my group that she wanted us to get in and tickle our patients, explain things to them, let them play, etc. I did all this and more and yet she still said that it wasn't enough.

The other people in my group are "cut-throat" and do not talk to each other. I try to be a team player and help them out but if they notice anything, they keep it to themselves. Two of them are also the professor's "favorites" and don't have to worry the way that the rest of us do. However, I did mention what happened to one of my friends and she was completely shocked that I had to do another assessment and that I was going to receive a failing grade because she said that she "completely messed up," and "didn't interact with her patient," but still did not receive any reprimands or a bad grade.

I have a lot of stress going on in my life but I am always able to compartmentalize it...I recognize that I still have a long way to go and that no one is ever going to give me anything but I hate how helpless I feel. Before I started this clinical, I had so much confidence. I made A's in all of my other clinicals (Med-Surg, Psych, OB) and truly felt that I was on the right path. I used to love working with kids but now I get GERD at the thought of stepping back into the hospital. (Which I have to do at 5 a.m. tomorrow morning.) I know that I need to just "suck it up" but I hate it. Six of my other friends who had her all got singled out months ago in previous clinicals and even now are still in counseling for it. The other professors at my school quake at the sight of her but no one can do or say anything to her because she runs our entire program.

I really appreciate the replies and advice. Thanks for taking the time to respond.

[caliotter3]

You give a lot of info when you say that she runs the program. You have to deal with this until you graduate, or falling short of that, you will need to find another program before this person ruins your chances. Tough place to be, have been there myself.