Can we still be friends?

pagandeva2000, LPN · Nov 4, 2007

I remember many people saying that it is not always good to work with the same peers once you have risen in the ranks, and I can see why. It is already stressful with learning a new job, without peer pressure from trying to please everyone. In any event, if this is an opportunity to gain employment as a new grad, there is no reason why I would tell you not to take it, but be prepared to get some slack and lose friendships. They may interfere with clinical judgement, and now, you have more responsibility and a license to protect. Something that the PCAs do not understand.

Also, (even though I am an LPN myself), I have noticed that many LPNs are bitter because they feel that they do the same work as an RN, but not get the respect and recognition that RNs get. That is not my personal feeling, but I see it out there a lot. Many of them have wanted to be RNs, but life got in their way, or are unwilling, but cannot be happy that a peer of theirs has made it over them. I believe that the expectations are different between an RN and LPN, and the bulk of the responsibility is higher; hence the higher license and degree.

Yes, you can do their jobs, but, that will not be your primary function. Try to give across that you value all of them as part of a team without belittling them, but also, diplomatically let them know that you are not the same person you where as a tech. Also, you may find that the same things that made you like your peers as a tech may make you think twice about them now that you are an RN and will bear the ultimate responsibility. I think that once they all get used to it, they will accept it better and you'll be fine. Congrats on earning your license and the best of luck to you in your new career!

Tweety, BSN, RN · Nov 4, 2007

I agree with Mike, your friends will stay your friends. If this person is really a friend she would be supportive and happy for you. However, acknowledge she's only human and the dynamic of your relationship is changing.

Conduct yourself professionally within your job description and delegate when necessary, but also show you haven't forgotten where you came from., so be humble.

Not the same, but kind of the same, is when I became charge nurse after being an staff RN. I got the old "you forget what it's like to work the floor and be busy and take admissions", "why don't you do it yourself or have you forgotten how to do patient care".

Choices are that I quit, they quit, or we work together. But the bottom line is that I'm the charge nurse and yes they are going to "take orders" from me, they don't have to like it but they have a job to do, and so do I, and I will not let them undermine my job description/authority by being petty and uncoopeartive.

CaLLaCoDe, BSN, RN · Nov 4, 2007

i can totally jive with this hot topic.

i too had good working relationships with my fellow nurse assistants prior to becoming their boss. orientation two plus years ago was a difficult hurdle to champion and gaining the respect of the aides who could undermine your work performance with not following up with your wishes compounded my work stress.

know this though, if you keep your cool and do not get bent out of shape you will probably gain their sympathies, especially if you do your best work...plus assisting them, if you have the time, with nursing assistant/tech duties you will be an added asset. they won't see you as the headstrong nurse who thinks she's god's gift to the working world, but a steadfast coworker, hard working and diligent, giving the optimum care to her clientele.

good luck to you, keep your chin up and don't let them see you sweat!;)

karlita · Nov 4, 2007

I just wanted to say thank you for posting this question OP. I noticed how my best friend, who worked with me as a tech, immediately labled anyone who was accepted into NS as stupid an incompetent compared to her. It really hurt when I was accepted into NS this last summer. When I called to tell her she said, "That's great I have to go; I'll call you back," in a really flat kind of upset tone. We didn't speak for about 3mo until I had to get one of my textbooks back from her. A few weeks later I got accepted into a different program...a coveted accelerated 16mo scholarship program through our employer, and when she heard the news from another co-worker who was also accepted they called to see if "it was really true." No congrats, no nothing, just "are you really sure you can do this?" In my mind I knew she was probably asking because she thought I was stupid and incompetent too. I've tried to put it behind me knowing that no friend is perfect, but I can't deny this really hurt me. It hurt to the point that I did not tell anyone at work after that, that I had been accepted because I almost felt ashamed of being accepted into NS. i thought about confronting her but thought that would furthur ruin the friendship if there was any part of it left at all. I'm over the initial shock. I miss having her as my friend, and I really hope she'll come around someday.

I have gone back to spending my extra time with my childhood best friend (since 6th grade) who I hadn't spoken to regularly in a couple years. She has ber bachelors in elementary education, and seems really proud of my accomplishments the same way I am of hers. I guess it is better to have friends outside of work for now so there won't be any competition or hard feelings.

Thanks again for this post, sry for the rant, it's helped a lot to know it didn't just happen to me and how others have dealt with it.

nursesherry · Nov 7, 2007

Hi all!!!
I am graduating nursing school in 3 weeks and just received the great news that I have been hired as an RN on the same psych unit that I have worked on for 3 years as a tech. Although I am very excited about beginning my career in nursing, I'm really worried about how it will affect my friendships with those that I used to work with and under.
I am really good friends with another tech that I work with (like we hang out on our off days and call each other several times a week) and I can already feel a rift between us. She says things like, "I'm not doing anything when your charge, you know how to tech so you'll be able to do it yourself." and "I think I'll just quit 'cause there is no way I'm taking orders from you." Problem is a) I don't want her to quit. I like working with her and she is a really great tech. The patients love her. and b) there is no way she can find another job that pays as well with only a GED, and she can't afford to take a paycut. I'm so worried that when I finish orientation and become charge nurse she will really resent me for delegating tasks to her and not always being able to pitch in with tech duties because I know I'll be sooo stressed and busy.
I'm also worried about the LPN's that I work with. Some of them already seem hostile about my soon becoming the charge nurse and having to report to me. In my facility, the RN has to double check and sign off on all duties that the LPN performs. When I told her about my getting hired she got real quiet and said, "I hope you don't think that I'm gonna be taking orders from you, I've been a nurse for 17 years and you're no better than me just because you have RN after your name." I just kind of sat there dumbstruck because I don't think I am better then anyone else, I know I am going to rely on the LPN's there for quite a while until a get my nurse legs under me. I tried to tell her all that but she still seems almost "mad" at me.
I'm really not an arrogant person, and I've never thought of myself as better than anyone. I love working on this unit, and before all this I got along great with all my co-workers. Sorry this is so long, I've just been really surprised about how harsh some people's reactions have been. It's not like I've been hiding the fact I was in nursing school.
So I guess my real question is how do you go from working along side someone to being their boss without hurting the friendship? Have any of you made the tech to RN transition on the same unit successfully? How did you do it?
Thanks for reading this super long post and I appreciate any responses.

It will take a few run ins before they truely submit to your authority. They will try really hard to make you feel your not the boss for a while. My advice is to continue to be as pleasant as you were before but be confident in your new position. Let them know what you expect and the ramifications of not complying. I cried the first time I had to write up a tech who was a very close friend of mine. You will most likely loose your more prideful friends but you have a job to do and you future depends on how you perform. That includes getting the most out of the workers who are under you. Lots of praise goes a long way. Letting people know they are doing a good job and that you appreciate their hard work really helps. Good luck in your new position! You have worked hard to attain it! God Bless!