Burning out

I have been a med/surg nurse for 10 years. I must say that your nurse to patient ratio sounds really bad if you are in a hospital. I don't work full time anymore because I can't tolerate the pace and stress of nursing. Even with four patients, sometimes the load can be very demanding physically and mentally with no room for error.

I took a job as a per diem worker where I don't get benefits. Often they ask me to work more than I would like - which is about 20 hours (honestly I would rather be in a different department but they are so desperate for med/surg nurses because people don't want to do it). We work 8 hour shifts. The people who work 4 shifts per week are getting benefits. I have clearly stated numerous times that I won't work 4 shifts a week because I took the job to work part time and people who work 4 shifts are getting benefits.

I might consider at some point offering to go to a variable position with 4 shifts a week where I could earn benefits but for now, I just say no to more than 3 shifts in med/surg. So I do think that you are in a bad situation but it is not within your control to hire/fire or change the med/surg world. It has been like this for at least the last 10 years that I have been a nurse.

I sound like I hate my job and sometimes I do hate it. But it is mostly the pace and stress. I do my very best when I am at work, giving 100% of what I have. It often takes me days to recover physically and mentally. It just isn't worth it for me to kill myself so I have to limit my hours and stick to it. I have developed an "I don't care anymore," and an "it's somebody else's problem" attitude.

I also have PTSD and am seeing a therapist for EMDR treatments. The med/surg nursing environment of high stress is not really a good fit for me. But, as I said, I give 100% and they are desperate for people willing to work med/surg so it is real easy to get and keep a job. Not so easy to advance or get that specialty experience.