I am new to this site and new to all of this. I was fired last week after the pharmacy did an audit and I showed up with 4 pages of discrepancies. Honestly, most of them could be explained.. But I was advised by my union rep to admit and be humble and plea for mercy. That is what i did. The 5 people sitting across from me seemed sympathetic...but i knew i'd get fired. The next morning i got fired over speaker phone. I was advised to self report to BON and my states assistance program... which i did. My state has an alternative to discipline program where my license is untouched as long as i comply for the 5 year contract. I go for my assessment in 2 days. I will be able to look for work right away, but am scared to DEATH about not finding a job and what i should tell them on interviews. The director of HR told my union rep they wouldnt be turning it over o the DEA because there wasnt enough discrepencies and I only admitted to a few. I was vague.
I am still in shock and disbelief over this whole thing. The severe anxiety is easing up a little, now that I know what Im facing... but the depression is really getting bad. I feel like such a loser. Its humiliating. Especiallly since I lived with an addict for 3 years and swore i'd never end up like that... and also.. i had an almost brother in law who was a flight paramedic who was accused of stealing fentanyl 2 weeks before their wedding and told he would be prosecuted. He committed suicide 5 days before the wedding .
I dont know what happened or how i got to where i am. I've never had an addictive peronality... i could smoke a pack of cigarettes a day for 2months and quit the next day. Im still struggling to believe i have an addiction vs severe depression and anxiety that I was self medicating for which disrupted the efficacy of my actual meds. But thinking back on my actions the past few weeks... the lengths i would go... just dont seem normal.
My job atmosphere has been horrible for the past few years. We were on our 4th director in a year and I was quite often a target because of my mouth.
The biggest reason i decided to admit was I didnt want them digging any more for fear of what they would find... which potentially could have been pretty bad.
Im a single mom and feeling pretty alone and scared. Just looking for support through this horrible time (Merry ***** christmas to me).
