Both spouses working overnights with a newborn... are we crazy?

Published

Hello! I've been an RN for 3 years and my husband just got his very first nursing job, (dependent on him passing the NCLEX). Assuming he does, he'll be starting in September (he's taking a month off because our first baby is due at the end of July).

I will be going back part-time, so two, 12-hour overnight shifts per week. He'll be working full-time, so three overnight shifts per week. We are crossing our fingers that we'll be able to avoid working the same nights altogether for the sake of childcare, but how crazy are we to do that? We'll probably barely ever see each other...we realize we will probably need at least part-time childcare on days when we both sleep, but we are hoping to minimize it.

There's no possibility for me to go to day shift at this point. The waiting list is literally years long.

Is this even doable? Has anyone else who works overnights had a significant other who does the same? What is your life like?

Thanks :) I already feel extra exhausted just thinking about it!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Is your baby going to daycare while you sleep? Otherwise I wouldn't not do this arrangement. Its not safe for you or your family. We have 3 children and have worked opposite shifts for years until this month. We pay $1300/mo in daycare. Yes its a lot but we have our health and sanity to think of. My husband tried to work nights and stay up with our kids for 1 year or so. His thyroid was messed with, gained 30 lbs, and was depressed. It took him a year to fully get his health back. Take it from me, it wasn't worth the $$ we saved.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Hi, thanks for the response. Yes, we are probably going to utilize part-time childcare; however, babysitters cost about $20 an hour here and daycare for one is easily $1,600 per month. We cannot afford to pay that. I just looked at our budget, and we will have about $1,100 leftover for childcare each month. I'm jealous of $1,300 for 3 kids; it would be triple that where we live.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Hello! I've been an RN for 3 years and my husband just got his very first nursing job, (dependent on him passing the NCLEX). Assuming he does, he'll be starting in September (he's taking a month off because our first baby is due at the end of July).

I will be going back part-time, so two, 12-hour overnight shifts per week. He'll be working full-time, so three overnight shifts per week. We are crossing our fingers that we'll be able to avoid working the same nights altogether for the sake of childcare, but how crazy are we to do that? We'll probably barely ever see each other...we realize we will probably need at least part-time childcare on days when we both sleep, but we are hoping to minimize it.

There's no possibility for me to go to day shift at this point. The waiting list is literally years long.

Is this even doable? Has anyone else who works overnights had a significant other who does the same? What is your life like?

Thanks :) I already feel extra exhausted just thinking about it!

My husband and I both work overnight, although he is not a nurse. He works 4 ten hour nights a week and I work one to two 12 hour shifts a week. Being per diem allows me to choose the days I'm available, and since he's full time, he carries the health insurance. It works well for us and keeps the kids out of daycare. We have a toddler and an infant.

There's not a lot of "together" time right now, but we figured that would be the case for a few years when we decided to have these kids.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

With part time daycare I think you could swing it, if you and your husband tolerate nights well.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Hi, thanks for the response. Yes, we are probably going to utilize part-time childcare; however, babysitters cost about $20 an hour here and daycare for one is easily $1,600 per month. We cannot afford to pay that. I just looked at our budget, and we will have about $1,100 leftover for childcare each month. I'm jealous of $1,300 for 3 kids; it would be triple that where we live.

Benefit of LCOL area. I think if you at least get childcare on 2 of your husband's shifts and one on yours during the day for sleep, you guys could swing it. From the sound of the price of childcare, your in a desirable living location which always equals big $$ for daycare.

You could consider relocating one day to a less expensive area for cheaper childcare plus you would be more likely to get a day shift in less populated area.

It's hard being a nurse with kids daycare wise, I was an LPN for 8 years before getting my RN. I often had to take weekend only jobs or turn down jobs I really wanted because the cost of childcare was the same amount I would have been making. Right now, our daycare bill is more than our mortgage. Bright side is, one day they will all be in school, and we will have more money than we will know what to do with sans daycare bill lol.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

My significant other works afternoon 6x a week 4p-4am (non medical field), then I work in a SNF 5x a week 7-330p. throughout the week we literally see each other for 10min while he's running in to take the baby to daycare so he can sleep through out the day. Sundays ( when its my off weekend) are the only times we get to spend together. she'll be 2 soon, and it was hard at first because we were both new to parenting and missing each other. But it got easier, we benefited from putting her in daycare mostly for him since he was home during the day with her and he wasn't getting any sleep we pay $600 a month for 5 days . I appreciate that when we do see each other the time is spent is great.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion