Best way to deal with rudeness?

Agnus · Aug 12, 2006

It also depends on what some people perceive as 'rudeness'. I never intend to be rude, but I can be very direct sometimes.
One time this male aid told me I'd been 'rude' to him. Huh? When? He told me that he'd told me that someone needed tylenol, and all I said was "OK, I'll get to it in awhile." He told me that he's used to the nurses telling him 'thank you', and going to get the med right then.
No.1 - I was in the middle of running back and forth trying to attend to a patient with a blood sugar of 36.
No.2 - it's not his job to decide when someone needs tylenol - just to report conditions - the nurse will decide when tylenol - or any med is to be given after she assesses the patient.
When I'm in the middle of something important, don't expect the adoring smiles or thank you, thank you's!! If I'm involved in something that needs my attention, don't keep at me about the small things.

I agree what one person preceves as rude may not be rude if taken in contex.

Obviously this CNA took your remark out of the contex that you were currently busy and this was not an immediate priority. He did not understand that only you can determine the priority of something like that. He did not understand you did not mean disrespect because you did not specifically

thank him for information. You simply accepted the information and gave him information that you would tend to it when time allowed. In your world (and mine ) this was not rude. Thanks would have been nice but in my view not a requirement to politeness in this situation.

He was used to and came to expect "Thank you". Not saying thank you in this situation was not rude per- say. Yet, in the culture he was used to it was rude.

janlpn96 · Aug 12, 2006

I felt the need to reply to this, as I was the patient and the nurse was rude to me. It bothered me so much that I asked others, if it was me being oversensitive, or was the nurse just mean?

I am LPN that has not worked and has been on disability for the past two years. I have a chronic illness, and have had many exacerbations over the past few years. My doctor had actually advised me to go onto disability , a year before I finally agreed, that it may be time. Also, this is a doctor that does not agree to everyone's disabilty case, as she is somewhat strict about working. In fact, before going on permanent disability, I was on medical leave for about 3 months and returned to work PT.(against my doctor's advice) I only lasted 6 months and decided that it was best for everyone's sake that I leave nursing. This was quite a sad situation for me because I really liked my job.

My decision was justified by my many hospitalizations over the past 2 years. It wuld have been difficult for me to work any job. There was a period where I could not even walk, that I had so much pain my legs. Also, I had a kidney removed, due to a diagnosis of renal cell carcinoma. I was uroseptic twice. I was just recently hospitalized for urosepsis, and unexplained tachycardia. My resting heart rate was 170. I was placed on heart monitor. My heart rate did reach to normal. It was a mystery as to why it went so high. I did not have supraventricular tachycardia, as they originally suspected. I do have sarcoidosis, and/or another unexplained, undiagnosed disease.

Now, to my point, (finally) -- One nurse in CCU asked where I worked. I told her that I have not worked for 2 years and have been on disability. Her reply in a sarcastic tone was, " Hmm, I wish that I did not have to work". I was quite insulted by that remark. I wish that I would have said to her, be careful what you wish for. And, perhaps, you would like to trade places with me!!

I would never be that rude to a patient!

Oh, and to top it off. She missed an IV piggyback that was to be hung at 2 a.m., d/t hectic eveing on the floor. Ok, I get that, things happen. She hung it at 5:30 and apolgized for being late. Now, the day nurse comes in to give it to me at 9:00, and I told her that I just had it at 5:30. The other nurse never marked that she gave me the med at a different time, and did not pass it along in report!

Okay, now that's my story about the rude nurse!

Jo Dirt · Aug 12, 2006

BUT last night! OMGosh! Dr's everywhere, all barking at nurses, and one started that up on me...I couldn't find the chart, he yelled at me for it (like I have a tracking system for charts!), I found the chart...but don't know their system or where things are unless I search...that really ticked the doc off!
Finally after much complaining and me scrambling to get the MD the infomation as polietly as I could (I never appologized for not going faster!), he asked..."Who are you?".
I told him my name and that I was agency helping out for a few days. He was all sorts of ticked! He said "oh great..nurses that don't know what they are doing anyway...and now I have a little rent a nurse!!!!!"
.

I'd have said matter of factly, "yea."

A lot of time when doctor's are pissy it isn't personal. Whoever is around them will catch it whether they deserve it or not. I've learned to let that kind of stuff slide off my back.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Aug 12, 2006

It seems like you really are a sensitive person underneath. 99.999% of the transactions you are going to have with people are neutral, professional and friendly. It sounds like your too much on the lookout for the reactions of other people, and might let the rude ones get to you too much.

Why not just let your guard down and be yourself. You don't need to always wear a coat of amour. I agree with the approach to treat others as you would want to be treated.

We have to choose our battles. There's a time to let things roll off of you, allow the person to be their unhappy selves, and a time to confront. There's a good book called "Crucial Confrontations" that might help you. I have a tremendous fear of confrontations and use to ignore others behavior to, and I was the one who suffered.

Also when you ignore rude behavior it gives them permission to continue to behave that way. As I said, there is a time when it's not that important, and doesn't affect me and I can ignore it. Other times it eats me up.

But putting on armor and being aloof and cold doesn't work for me. It's not my nature. It's safe perhaps, but isolating and not healthy.