I am only halfway through my first semester, and I left clinical in tears, called my advisor, and now have an appointment with the department head/one of my instructors on Monday, because I am 27 years old and being BULLIED in COLLEGE.
Not only that, but they call our patients "weird" and "gross," and FELL ASLEEP in a meeting with hospital IT personnel who made a special hour-long trip to come train us, at a ROUND table!!!
They bait me into conversations, and then bring other things into it only to mock me and make fun of me.
I expect professionalism, not elementary school. My advisor offered to put me and another girl in a different clinical group next semester, which is great. BUT, that doesn't solve my coping skills. I still feel like it's my problem, that if I were to handle things better it wouldn't be such a big deal.
I feel guilty for being made fun of. But it is incessant. I realize there's always going to be some of this in every environment, but I am SERIOUSLY thinking of giving up my dreams of PMHNP and returning to Clinical Psychology because I just CANNOT take it anymore.
I'm supposed to go to the meeting with the department head on Monday with ideas for solutions, but all I can think of is to work on my coping skills (how do you assertively address passive-aggressive bullying???)
Sometimes, I feel like we're a little too quick to throw out the "bully" buzzword. By labeling someone else a "bully," we don't improve ourselves or take accountability for our own actions. Personalities will clash, cliques will form, feelings can be hurt through subtle nuances, and you will have to learn to not only function, but excell in that environment.
Honestly? I think you need to stop, take a step back and re-evaluate. Don't victimize yourself. Own your emotions. No one can force you to respond to perceived meanness; that is all you.
I think it's awful that the kindest, most beautifully sensitive people in the world are also the easiest to snap at, dump on and be on the receiving end of whatever emotional garbage people are working through. But with that being said, you have to learn to toughen up, protect yourself and take responsibility for the ways you react. You allowed the passive-aggressiveness of others to make you leave the clinical site, something that would've had you kicked out of the nursing program I went through. And once you hit the ground running as an LPN, tears are nothing but blood in the water to the sharks of the nursing world.
Jerkholes and jackwagons exist in every profession. If this is a problem for you here, it will be a problem for you everywhere. If you give up your dreams because of it, be prepared to give up dreams in the future as well.
Honestly, my advice to you? Same as people who work with vicious or untrained dogs. Envision someone strong that you want to emulate. When you're around animals, project it. No one develops confidence and the ability to let things roll off their back overnight. But, you can fake it 'til you make it.
Hang in there. You are the only person with the power to make yourself feel. Use it.
I TOTALLY DISAGREE WITH THE FIRST AND SECOND PARAGRAPH.
you are doing the right thing by bringing it to the attention of administrators.
I can understand you wanting to improve your coping mechanisms, but remember, YOU ARENT THE PROBLEM HERE. the bully (or bullies) is.
sure, improve your coping mechanisms; but go through with notifying admin of any bullying.
no one deserves to go through that.
I really sincerely hope things get better for you.
-Valerie Elise Rapp, SVN
I actually somewhat agree with the post, but I still think bullying is real, it's a real problem, and no it's not just in the person's emotions or mind. And it shouldn't be tolerated. Having said that, it's been my own personal experience that to survive and prosper in the healthcare work setting, especially in a large busy hospital, you have to grow a thick skin. I know I've had to. If you don't you will go around 24/7 being offended and put off by everything and everyone. And be careful about how you report stuff to people and who you report it to. Retaliation takes many forms and can be very subtle and insidious. There's an art and a trick to being able to swim with sharks without becoming one yourself. If you end up becoming one yourself, then the bullies have won. Lots of people cope and survive by becoming this way themselves in self defense, and that's a sad thing to see happen.
you are doing the right thing by bringing it to the attention of administrators.
I can understand you wanting to improve your coping mechanisms, but remember, YOU ARENT THE PROBLEM HERE. the bully (or bullies) is.
sure, improve your coping mechanisms; but go through with notifying admin of any bullying.
no one deserves to go through that.
In OP's opening post, she stated that she seriously felt like giving up on her dream of becoming a nurse in response to her interactions with fellow nursing students. When someone wants something desperately, is willing to work their butt off for it but feels so desperate and powerless that they are genuinely considering calling it quits? Hell, I'd rather be constructive than placate someone.
You can't criminalize the world. You can't always penalize vague, passive-aggressive behavior. You can't depend on school admins to play referee, and you damn well can't expect charge nurses/nurse managers to do the same in the real world. What OP can control is how she perceives herself. What OP can control is how she can learn not just to cope, but successfully function in a world where jerks (and jerk entourages) exist.
Instantly dismissing an entire situation as 100% bully-propagated isn't constructive, isn't edifying, and it sure as hell isn't going to bring OP closer to her dreams. If you perceive me as victim-blaming, I think you missed the point of my earlier post entirely.
guest123
5 Posts
I TOTALLY DISAGREE WITH THE FIRST AND SECOND PARAGRAPH.
What is Bullying | StopBullying.gov
OP, YOU HAVE BEEN BULLIED.
Being bullied isn't your fault.
How you handle it, is.
you are doing the right thing by bringing it to the attention of administrators.
I can understand you wanting to improve your coping mechanisms, but remember, YOU ARENT THE PROBLEM HERE. the bully (or bullies) is.
sure, improve your coping mechanisms; but go through with notifying admin of any bullying.
no one deserves to go through that.
I really sincerely hope things get better for you.
-Valerie Elise Rapp, SVN