I walk into my residential yoga school, 9000 miles away from home after four flights, 2 days of travel, and 3 hours of sleep. South India, monsoon season. 90 plus degrees and my room-mate refuses to use air conditioning. My ego is reduced to that of a tight fisted, red-faced toddler, insistent on some creature comforts. After all, I am the one with reasonable demands, right?
The first thing India teaches you is that demands, by their very nature, are not reasonable.
When we have expectations of any sort, our minds close, barriers form to possibilities that could be positive outside of our limited habits. This is true in nursing. We have colleagues with whom we would rather not work. Patients we reserve special code names for like 'frequent flier,' or 'train wreck.' Often we talk about how these behind-closed-doors habits are wrong or unfair to the patient, but do we realize that such practices are also unfair to ourselves?
Here's an example: When you see you will be working with nurse X, a person who you feels undermines you, or bullies you, chances are you experience an inward [if not outward!] groan. Immediately you feel tension, literally - the muscles tighten and you mentally prepare for 8 or 12 hours of going head-to-head. But what would happen if you saw yourself as a 'first responder' to this discomfort, and consciously took steps to disarm yourself, and by default, the milieu? You might actually be open to enjoying the shift, working together, and going home with peace.
Back to India. For my teaching certificate, I needed to practice 'Karma Yoga,' something charitable toward the world. My first Karma Yoga was to help feed and attend to injured stray dogs [there are hundreds, if not thousands of them everywhere.] Next, I went to an orphanage.
Immediately, my muscles tensed, I felt dread and resistance, similar to the feelings I have had when encountering someone or something at work for which I expect to have an emotional struggle. The 45 minute ride to the home for girls I prepared myself to feel depressed for these children, some of whom had been exposed to HIV/AIDS, who had been trafficked across the country, who were phycially young but minds were aged well beyond what they should. My guard was up, because I had no idea how to protect *myself* from seeing their pain.
The second thing India teaches you is that nothing is about you.
All that tension I created was my own mental burden. The orphanage was one of the highlights of my stay. The girls were bright, smiling, smart, and in their dire circumstances, simply thrilled that they had visitors. They were not alone, and they wanted to share everything, simply because someone cared to know about them. The girls cooked chapati bread, interrupted each other with great enthusiasm to tell their stories, laughing all afternoon.
When we make judgments about co-workers or patients, allow ourselves to grit our teeth in frustration, talk behind their backs [or even think negatively!] we often don't have the whole picture, just as I made assumptions about the orphanage being depressing. We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to see that nurse or patient as a human, just as flawed as we are, with just as many mechanisms of self-preservation flying up for reasons unknown. If there were a way to connect, would you try it? What do you have to lose?
The third thing India teaches you is that we are all connected, universally.
We all have the potential for kindness or cruelty, and it is up to us to make a positive impact that echoes from the one person to the next. With that in mind, I offer a short and sweet written guided 'meditation' for your next dreaded encounter at work. As you read, feel free to practice these thoughts now, and check in with them next time you clock in.
As you read, your breathing is gentle, but deep. Any sounds around you, whether it's children or cars or dogs barking just become a part of background noise. If you have to get up to attend to something, simply take a breath, feel peace and patience and return when you are ready.
Adjust to a comfortable position, so that yo can fully relax and read without circulation being compromised.
Two small spheres float over you. One is warm and golden, over your chest. The other is light blue and cool, over your forehead. You think about anxieties and people or patients at work and take a survey of what happens with these thoughts. Does your heart quicken? Muscles twitch or tighten? Pressure rise? Feelings of anger or mistrust? Let these feelings come without judgment. They will pass. Your heart remains open and glowing with compassion, even for those who do not seem to *need* it.
Now focus on the small golden sphere over your chest. It glows with warmth. As you think about these people or situations, the globe warms, and you become aware that you only know part of their story. The warmth spills into an open heart that is free of judgment and full of forgiveness. You are willing and able to confidently bring feelings of compassion, love, and unity into your workspace.
The small blue globe over your head is cooling reactive tendencies. If you feel wronged, you know that you need only to do the right work, and not focus on others' influence on you. The cooling globe calms and reinforces your ability to stay positive in the face of adversity. You think of co-workers or patients who you allow to disrupt your sense of self-control and positivity, and immediately you are able to cool down any raised blood pressure or tense muscles. You think of the people around you, and truly wish them well, and wish yourself well, too.
With that, I close this article with the Indian tradition:
The light in me honors the light in you.
