I know that we aren't always going to see the happy endings. I can accept that. What I have trouble with is calling a doc, repeatedly, for issues and getting poor responses. At almost the exact same time as the doc finally shows up, we start having heart tone issues. Issues that continued and worsened over the next 40 minutes. Issues that resulted in a very very bad outcome.
My resource nurse was involved, and had been. Everyone who ended up in the OR with us said they didn't know of anything else I could have done. I made the phone calls, gave the appropriate information and documented the responses. I still feel like 3 day old dung.
I can't concentrate, haven't been sleeping since it happened. I've cried more in the last week than I think I have in my entire life. I haven't the slightest idea of where to go from here. This kid would have been fine if I could have picked up the scapel myself, but I couldn't, and I don't know how to handle that. I know there's going to be legal action, and I'm really freaked out by that too. Help, prayers, advice, cya-tips? Anyone? I'm dying here!
