Baby Boomer 1st Semester Nursing Student Feeling Discouraged

Mossback · Nov 15, 2009

I'm 59 and in the first semester of a BSN program. Like you, I'm substantially older than any of my classmates (about 25 years older, in my case). My fellow students have been pretty accepting of me, but it's hard to shake that "fish out of water" sensation. About once a week or so I have a private "what the hell am I doing in nursing school at my age" moment. Then I take a deep breath and keep on going.

So far I've managed to squeak through all the skills checkoffs, which is quite a feat since I am arguably the world's clumsiest man. I take some solace from the knowledge that many of my younger colleagues also struggle with their skills, and a good many of them have had to re-do their checkoffs.

Like you, I've also struggled with feelings of inferiority in clinical. It seems my meager clinical skill desert me whenever I'm faced with applying them in a real-world situation. However, it was enlightening to talk to some of the other students. It turns out they all feel pretty much the same way, although many of them seem to be able to put on a convincing air of confidence. As far as I can tell, no one is very proficient in clinical during their first semester. I think the best we can do is learn from our mistakes, not be shy about asking for help, and stay determined to become good nurses.

As far as the academics are concerned, I wouldn't be too concerned about getting Bs. Nursing school is a challenge, and a B is a perfectly acceptable grade. I'm finding that my previous study skills aren't nearly as effective in nursing school, in part because the emphasis is on critical thinking rather than rote memorization. I got straight As in my pre-reqs, but I may very well end this semester with a raft of Bs. I'd rather get As of course, but a B will still get me an RN.

I try to keep in mind that although I'm quite a bit older than my classmates, I've got some maturity and life skills that they lack. Being an effective nurse requires self-discipline and organizational abilities. I don't know about you, but I'm much better organized and better focused now than I was when I was 25.

Just believe in yourself and hang in there. People like you and I can bring a unique perspective to nursing.

tkaye5864 · Nov 15, 2009

I am 45 and just finishing up my fourth semester of nursing school. Learning doesn't come as quickly as it does for my younger classmates - but it can be done!! And just because I don't get all A's - doesn't mean that I won't be a good nurse. My classmates have been some of my biggest supporters - even though I am old enough to be their mothers!! If you have the passion and desire to succeed - it can be done!! Best of luck!

shannahan · Nov 15, 2009

I am in my late 40s. My brain doesn't absorb info like it did in my 20s but I make up for it by putting in the study hours. There is another lady in my class who is probably late 50s who inspires me. She is not afraid of anything. She says, "this is part of my journey and I don't care what anyone thinks." Everyone in my class struggled with our block 1 clinicals (except for the few who have hospital experience).

It's not just a cliche when people say believe in yourself. This is very, very important. Believe you can do it and just take it one week at a time.

tonik3264 · Nov 15, 2009

i'm 45 and finishing my first semester of nursing classes in a BSN program. i'm having that "oh god this is killing me moment," so much so that i thought i'd see if anyone out here was feeling the same way. what's tough, also, is in my nursing classes, there are very few people around my age. one woman (who's great) is almost 40, but i think i might (??) be the oldest. my young colleagues are great, very kind to me, but it's true that they study differently, think differently and have different strengths and weaknesses. i really need a buddy my own age for support, yet, who wants to feel needy?

to respond to shannon's concern about skills checkoffs -- so far i'm okay on that stuff, but the presbyopia is driving me nuts! glasses on, glasses off, can't see, can't find the glasses -- gah! otherwise, clinical is going fine, partly because i worked as a CNA for a year while taking the prereqs (in which i got all A's too...). and yeah, me too, getting B's, the occasional A-.

What I find i'm most worried about right now is the relationship between prolonged stress (ie nursing school!) and depression. i'm vulnerable, but overall have been able to stay up in the past and manage the stress with lots of exercise and all that. now...nursing school is a whole new world of stress that's beginning to trigger some mild depression that has me super scared, which then makes it hard to exercise, which in turn prevents me from reducing stress, round and round. ugh!! i think ? reaching out to you guys could help??

to help, i'm cutting out TV, decreasing caffeine and (when the freaking rain stops) will go out for a run. I commute to school via commuter rail and bike, so on school days i'm forced to get exercise. (i have a cool folding bike with one speed that i recommend.)

so...i swear by forcing exercise into your life somehow. because when you're stressed -- depressed, no amount of cheerleading will get you out the door.

anybody relate to any of this? (oh, and ps, my kids are off in college and i miss them! and the holidays are coming...err!)

deleern · Nov 15, 2009

emptynstr....(love the handle) I went back at 45.... I worked full time because I had no choice...(whole other story) I struggled as well. I was the oldest in my class. and you Know what. I didn't care I was there for one reason only to become a nurse. at mid semester I was below passing. My instructor told me I wasn't doing very well. and asked her if she was kicking me out and she said no. so i just kept on going I paid for it and if i have to do it over I at least would have heard the material once.. and you know what I ended up with a B in that class. (that was because I got an 98 on the final).

As I told my sister (who has just finished her LPN) C's get degrees!!

PM me if you want my story... I will send it to you.

tonik3264 · Nov 15, 2009

thanks for the encouragement, delee. i really like what you said about remembering the ONLY reason i'm in nursing school is to become a nurse. simple, but when you just came out of a world where you were so freaking GOOD at everything (a's in school, promotions at work, etc) the ego bruising of nursing school is this ...strange new animal i didn't even recognize at first. hey...what is this icky feeling i'm having? why do i feel like crap, LOL. huh. interesting, very helpful.

it's funny when you think about it. most folks over 40 stay entrenched in their comfort zone (if they can help it). there's something to be said for folks like us who deliberately bust out of it - of course some icky feelings are just part of the price you pay!

deleern · Nov 15, 2009

I was going to enter this in the article contest, but I am not much of a writer. if this can help another older student then this is the place to post it.

I sold my insurance agency Dec of 03. After 4 months of settling the new owner in. I started looking at my options. If I didn’t have health insurance my profits would be eaten up to quickly. My Husband and I are older I was 45 and he was 50 it is really hard to find affordable Health insurance. I knew I wanted to go into nursing so I started at local nursing home in May of 2004 as a NA-R, I needed health benefits and they had a full time opening on the NOC shift. I do not sleep well at night so I thought it wouldn’t hurt to give it a try. NA-R is very hard work. I knew that my body would not tolerate this for long. I enjoyed the residents and liked this kind of work.

I started the LPN program in Aug of 2004. My hubby was not happy about me wanting to go to college. He thought it was too much for me to handle. I had signed up and promised I wouldn’t go if he said no… I missed the 1st week of school because he couldn’t make up his mind, Monday morning I told him that he better tell me if I could go or not and he wouldn’t say anything so I took that as a yes and went to college…. I went to my 1st class and it was Nursing 1 the instructor took attendance and afterwards she asked me to pick up my books and step out into the hall she said that I couldn’t start a week late that they have already taken a test and I missed the lecture. So I didn’t say a word and went to the councilors’ office and asked if there ANY of the programs in this college that the student guide didn’t applied to. He said no, so I turned right around and went back to the class. Sat down asked if I could have the power point. And she handed it to me. After the lecture she said I would need to take the test tomorrow. I said fine. I took the 1st test and the second test on the same day… I failed the first test because they take 10% off for taking it late. I got an 80% (a C ) on the second one. So I just plugged away… continued on.

At Midterm my instructor pulled me aside and told me I was at a high D… I asked her if she was kicking me out. She said no because I had perfect attendance. I told her that it’s not over until the fat ladies sings and this fat lady hasn’t sung yet!!! I paid for this and I was going to go to the end even if I failed it… I would just take it over if I had to.

Working nights was tough !! Because it was so easy to fall asleep in class. I started bring lots of goodies to class. Granola bars. Fruit, chips. Bottles of water. … And I would share them with the students around me if I dosed off they would fill in my notes… they thought I was crazy but they respected me. (Some of the students worked part time in the same nursing home that I did) at the end of the semester I had a B in that class. I studied my butt off. I got a 98% on the final.

The second semester I took 3 classes online A&P II, Psycho social, & Med terminology that helped with the sleep issue. I could do them on my own time.

Our school has open enrollment and I took 18- 21 credits a semester I graduated with a 3.5 GPA in three semesters partly because when I was a student there 27 years ago I was a straight A at that time. I believe during the LPN I had a 3.0

I continued taking my Co required re- req. classed so that my work load would be lighter later in the RN program. I worked 5 nights a week as the Charge nurse on the night shift. And 3 day shifts. I was accepted into the part time program. So my RN program was 3 semesters long. I only had the core classes left…. Thank God. Those classes were the hardest classes I have ever had.

Organization was one of the keys to my success I bought a large day planner. Everything about school and personal life was in it. I knew when my test s were and when projects were due. If future papers were on the agenda I kept a list of ideas or things I would like to research. I always kept in mind what my future practice would entail. (geriatrics) It was the hardest thing I have ever done. I had many struggles though it

I worked for local nursing home full time. I work 10 shifts per 2week period. And usually work 1 to 2 - 12 hour shifts if someone called in. I graduated with a 3.12 I didn’t get any time off. With school and class it was 12 days straight until my weekend off. I told the “kids” that this is just a short Blip in my life and I will get through it. I graduated in May of 2007. Took the Nclex the same day my 1st granddaughter was born…(I knew she was in labor but she and my husband did not want me to postpone it) well I took the test and made it back to my daughters side to have my hand in on the delivery. (Another story some day.) I found I had passed the NCLEX.

That’s my story.... Yes keep going don't stop... it is so easy to let life get in the way. And you know what… what other people think is unimportant. The rewards are great. I finally have job satisfaction!!

tonik3264 · Nov 15, 2009

wow, thanks for posting this. amazing. i'm tired just thinking about it. truly, an inspiration!

Emptynstr2 · Nov 15, 2009

Thank you all for the enlightening responses. One must keep eyes on the goal and remember the reason for doing this out-of-Erickson's-stage move of choice. Go Baby Boomers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Remember The Tortoise and the Hare.....

tonik3264 · Nov 15, 2009

you bet! GO GO GO!!!

i liken it to running a marathon. i'm walking through the water stations. calm, calculating, strategic, looking at the big picture, and the PRIZE.

sneakymom2011 · Nov 15, 2009

Thanks for the inspiration.

I'm 42- this is the second program I'm in (if you want the story email me LOL- it's just long) and I'm feeling discouraged. I am passing lecture, but JUST passing. The last 2 tests were killers- the nice thing is that everyone in class felt the same way I did.

I have a paper due this week and a final, and as was said before "It's not over until the fat lady sings" and she hasn't sung yet

I'm not the oldest in my class- but in my clinical group- I'm the same age as my clinical instructor. And I had a "moment" last week when getting a client who was 3 years older than I was- 2 kids about the same age as my kids- and stage 4 stomach cancer (to top it off, our first clinical experience is on an oncology floor). Age came up a while back, and I got some looks when I said I was 42 (one young lady said if it was ok if she asked what my age was).

It hasn't been easy. I've got two teenagers and a husband who have been used to "mom does everything". Quite the rude awakening this semester LOL. Because I haven't been able to do "everything". It's taken time, and there are moments that I'm shaking my head when there's clean clothes sitting to be folded, yet everyone's just either watching TV or updating their status on facebook.

I think the MOST hardest thing is telling my kids that they can't do everything they want. My youngest has been playing soccer this season. The game schedule is KILLING me. The last rescheduled game time was given to us 2 DAYS before they played and I had to miss. I told her either music or soccer next season, not both.

The nice thing is- we no longer have skills checkoffs at my school. Because I just can't handle that pressure. Dealing with the tests are bad enough. Being told that "gee if you can't insert a foley this one time with 90% accuracy you're going to get kicked out of the program" just ramps up the stress that much more.