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Discussion

Attachment issues

I am currently in my first year of nursing school working on getting my BSN. I know that I want to become a nurse, but I am still trying to decide what area I want to go into. Ob/Gyn is an area of interest, but I would like some input from those who currently do it. I love babies and to care for them would be wonderful but I am afraid I would get too attached and would have emotional difficulty if the baby had something wrong with it. Is this something that you gradually learn to cope with over time?

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    You learn professional detachment.

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    • Experts

    I haven't ever worked in OB, but I would guess it's somewhat like child psych, which is my specialty, in that regard. Some people are able to learn to achieve a good balance of attachment and objectivity to be able to be therapeutic and effective in the specialty. Some people are too emotionally involved and not able to function effectively, and the specialty just isn't for them. You'd have to try it to see how it works for you.

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    I've worked in OB my whole career and I've never had this issue. I guess it helps that I have my own kids though. l think that would be more of a NICU/Peds problem than OB. You don't get as much one on one time with newborns as you think. Most hospitals are going Baby Friendly and leaning towards non-separation of mother - baby couplets. It's kinda hard to bond with a kid that's constantly with its mother.

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    I have some patients that I've bonded with and remember fondly, crazy horror stories, and patients I go home thinking about because I'm worried about them. But none of it has kept me from functioning.

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    Bonding with your patient is completely normal. Especially when they are so cute and squishy. I still think about one of my pt from pediatric home care (I've been off that case for sometime now). I think you'll be able to build a sense of detachment without being jaded. I think what helps is first accepting that even if you are the best nurse for that pt on that day his/her life is not up to you. You don't even have to believe it is up to God (I am not trying to force any beliefs on anyone) just acknowledge and accept that you are not in total control of that person's life and that ultimately what will be will be.

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    yes, you learn to keep some emotional distance from your patients, no matter what specialty you are in. I'll admit though, I had a cord prolapse a couple weeks ago with a very bad outcome, and it is impossible to not be deeply affected by things like that.

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    • Experts

    Just to tag on to what cayenne06 said, being deeply affected by something and breaking down to the point of incapacity are different. (I know you know this, cayenne, just making a statement for other gentle readers.)

    It is never easy when there is a bad outcome - known or unknown, expected or unexpected. But it does get easier. You learn to care for the patient competently and compassionately without falling to pieces.

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    In OB, your job is to promote maternal/infant attachment. If you're doing that, you getting too attached won't be a problem. Possibly I Peds Or NICU.

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    I work PP, where we do have a nursery. When I'm working in there and put one of those adorable crying babies over my shoulder and get a whiff of that newborn smell, I feel all warm inside. And that's about it. I can detach from them as quick as I can adore them. They may not be able to talk but when they're good and ready they can scream their head off.

    Sent from iPink's phone via allnurses app

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