At a crossroads:

Published

Specializes in gen med surge.

Hiya there folks. Ever feel like you are suffocating? Ever feel like you are going to explode because of the panic inside? Well I feel as if I could pop wide open right now! (And two days before I work, and all days that I work.)

I do.

I think I hate working in a hospital. I work 3 days and am off 4. The first 2 days off are great but then I start thinking about going back on days 3 and 4 of my days off. I absolutely dread it from the bottom of my heart.

I am wondering what else is out there for me. MDs office? Health Department? I have my BSN but feel incredibly inadequate due to the "over education" I got in the theory portion and "under education" I got in the clinical portion. I have gotten a lot of experience in the year that I have been out on the floor. Problem is...is that I hate being stressed out, hate having a heavy patient load, hate not spending time with my patients, hate running my butt off, hate worrying about reading the latest update to some stupid policy. I hate working nights and being away from my husband when I know he is home in bed....where I know I belong. I hate not being able to sleep on the nights that I am off. I hate not having time to learn about my patients - and worse, no time to learn from them - because I am so busy.

I love helping people, spending time with them, assisting them.

I'm just so tired.

What else is out there for me? Does anyone have any idea of what I am feeling?

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Specializes in Med/Tele.
Hiya there folks. Ever feel like you are suffocating? Ever feel like you are going to explode because of the panic inside? Well I feel as if I could pop wide open right now! (And two days before I work, and all days that I work.)

I do.

I think I hate working in a hospital. I work 3 days and am off 4. The first 2 days off are great but then I start thinking about going back on days 3 and 4 of my days off. I absolutely dread it from the bottom of my heart.

I am wondering what else is out there for me. MDs office? Health Department? I have my BSN but feel incredibly inadequate due to the "over education" I got in the theory portion and "under education" I got in the clinical portion. I have gotten a lot of experience in the year that I have been out on the floor. Problem is...is that I hate being stressed out, hate having a heavy patient load, hate not spending time with my patients, hate running my butt off, hate worrying about reading the latest update to some stupid policy. I hate working nights and being away from my husband when I know he is home in bed....where I know I belong. I hate not being able to sleep on the nights that I am off. I hate not having time to learn about my patients - and worse, no time to learn from them - because I am so busy.

I love helping people, spending time with them, assisting them.

I'm just so tired.

What else is out there for me? Does anyone have any idea of what I am feeling?

Wow, I could have written this! I feel the same way. I will reach my year mark next week.......I have already secure an 8-5 job with a insurance company, that pays a bit more than I make now, ho holidays, weekends, no patient care, I'm still gonna stay prn at my current job but I have been feeling overwhelmed just as you do......I started really looking and applying for jobs about 4 months ago. I was so miserable. My last day is Friday! I just got done working the weekend shift.........and it was hell. The job I am gonna start in a week and a half, the ad said 2-5 years experience preferred, hired me! They said they will train me.........so I would apply to things that interest you even if it says it wants more experience........there are other things. Bedside full time is not for me..........I work on med/tele and it has been hell...........yes I have learned alot but it's time to move on, it has drained me mentally, emotionally, physically........good luck to you.

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Specializes in gen med surge.
Wow, I could have written this! I feel the same way. I will reach my year mark next week.......I have already secure an 8-5 job with a insurance company, that pays a bit more than I make now, ho holidays, weekends, no patient care, I'm still gonna stay prn at my current job but I have been feeling overwhelmed just as you do......I started really looking and applying for jobs about 4 months ago. I was so miserable. My last day is Friday! I just got done working the weekend shift.........and it was hell. The job I am gonna start in a week and a half, the ad said 2-5 years experience preferred, hired me! They said they will train me.........so I would apply to things that interest you even if it says it wants more experience........there are other things. Bedside full time is not for me..........I work on med/tele and it has been hell...........yes I have learned alot but it's time to move on, it has drained me mentally, emotionally, physically........good luck to you.

Thanks. Looks like I'm two years older than you but you have 1 UP on me in the happy-with-my-job category. Best of luck to you with your new job. I hope that you find happiness - where ever it is for you!

As for me...I may just take your advice and look for something that interests me - despite the experience that I do or do not have.

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I am so tired of nursing for a different reason. Nursing does not make any sense to me anymore.

I work at night at a nursing home. It takes me about three hours or more to do my charting. It takes me nearly an hour just to check my treatment book and to sign it off. I have more than 25 patients on the skilled unit and about 55 patients in the long-term unit. Years ago I still had time to take breaks but not anymore. The level of acuity of the patients have changed dramatically.

It is not the work itself that bothers me. It is the idea that I am forced to lie everyday. When you think about it, no one can logically check every patient in one 8 hour shift. And yet I sign off on their cardexes everyday that I have. The bosses know about it but don't care. The state has to know about it because any elementary student can tell that it's impossible. And yet no one says anything because it has always been this way. No one says anything but if something wrong happens I know no one will have my back.

I love the caring, nurturing and all that good stuff in nursing but lately there seems to be no time for that anymore. The time is spent trying to please the state surveyors by filling paperwork. And it seems like it's just OK with the state health department.

Nursing, it seems, has become like any other job. My capacity to care for my patients used to feel like a valuable asset. Now, it's taking time off my paperwork-filling duties.

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:yeahthat:

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Specializes in post-op.

WOW! I could also have written these posts. I just hit my year mark. I am sooooo wanting to get away from the hospital and the crazy shift work. I am very interested in community health nursing, but am scared to move on. I have been telling myself not to do anything until I am sure. I just took off 3 weeks as I just got married and went on a honeymoon and all that fun stuff. I have 6 more days off and already I have that pit in my stomach about going back. I have decided to get my resume together over this next week and to start the job hunt. I so feel just like you WoWchick. I hate a lot about my job except I love the patients, but like you said I do not get the time to spend with them. I just will be nervous to put in my notice when and if I can, I always feel a loyalty to wherever I work, but I am miserable at my hospital job :( I want to work to live NOT live to work! Thanks for sharing it feels good to know that I am not the only one!

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