Are you a nurse from a dysfunctional family?

Nurses General Nursing

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Hi,

This is something I have been curious about for a while. I know there must be nurses out there who come from dysfunctional families...

What I mean by "dysfunctional" is the following: growing up in a household where you have been neglected or abused by your immediate family and/or were raised in a family where drug addiction, mental illness were common. Here is an abbreviated synopsis of my experience: my mother has suffered from clinical depression since she was a teenager, my father has a gambling addiction and has caused my family to declare bankruptcy, my brother is a drug addict (heroin) who lives with my parents who enable him, and my sister also suffers from clinical depression and anxiety-she tried to commit suicide last year.

I moved away from my family years ago. I have been depression and med free for a number of years now.

I have often wondered: how many people out there in nursing, a profession where your job is to care for other people, and often to empower patients/clients with the ability to care for themselves- have come from backgrounds where they did not receive adequate care, encouragement from their families? Where you had to largely teach yourself how to properly care for and nurture yourself?

If you experienced an abusive/ neglected upbringing- do you feel it influenced you to become a nurse?

Do you think your experiences have helped or hindered you?

Do you often have to check yourself because there is a fine line between caregiving and caretaking ?

At this point, I am a student, and I am leaning towards psychiatric nursing as a speciality. I know that this is because of my personal experiences with my family, and my own struggles with mental illness. I already know more about meds, diagnoses, and treatments than the average person! (Ha ha)

Any feedback would be appreciated!

Thanks,

Jennifer

I suppose I have never really made the connection until reading everyone's posts. I too am a nurse from a dysfunctional/abusive family. When I think about it, it does make sense that someone who grew up in an environment that one had no control of and no nurturing would turn to nursing.

Doesn't it? Like you have an urge to provide the caring, understanding & comfort you know humans need that you know all too well what it's like to lack.

Doesn't make for an easy life, but I believe it makes a great nurse - One who can empathize with suffering & misery on so many levels.

The only upside to coming from a dysfunctional/abusive family - We DON'T have to be like them, and most times are nowhere near, and get to learn a great deal from it on how we don't want ourselves or our lives to be, and can create & utilize our own better person for the good of this world & our own lives.

And I'm not saying that's always easy, escaping the negative influences of others.

You all have my sympathy & understanding, and dysfunctional seems beyond an understatement regarding my childhood.

Much love to any who have it so hard. :redpinkhe

I am just a nursing student, but will soon be a nurse, and I've come from a kinda weird background. Depression and anxiety run deep in my family, yet I'm the only one being treated for it-- and I think it's because of my education, that I can recognize it and seek something better for myself. I watch my mom and sister suffer. My mom looks so exhausted all the time, it's hard to see. Alcoholism also runs in my family, as do other addictions-- but NOT in my immediate family. My mom won't even touch alcohol because she's seen what its done to her family.

Since we were little, my parents haven't really been around-- they both worked full time, and we spent most of our days in the care of one of our aunts. Now that we're older, we all live in this house but have minimal interactions. It seems that our only relationship is financial-- i live here for free, and they pay for my schooling. I get "I love you" signed on birthday/christmas cards but that's it. I don't even remember the last time I said it out loud, or had one of them say it out loud to me, or had a hug or a kiss. When we are home, we are all in separate rooms. We pass in the hallways like we're strangers. My parents sleep in different rooms. It's awful, really. I'm 23, and I wish I got my life together sooner so I wouldn't still have to face this every day, but it was really hard for me dealing with depression/anxiety since early high school.

I often wonder if I was drawn to nursing to care for others, since I was never really cared for....... but, who knows (: I am also very interested in psych, and that probably comes from all of my experiences with it.

so do any of you who share the dysfunctional family thing with me feel it has negatively affected you in nursing. I have a really difficulty time with relationships. After 32 years of nursing, I have just lost my 3rd job due to poor interpersonal relationships. Not that I didn't try. Counseling, antidepressents, etc. It is just some of those ingrained reactions just rise to the surface unexpectedly and unwillingly when you are under stress. And of course, nursing has become one of the most stressful jobs around.

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