Application Essay

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Essay on why I want to be a nurse....what do you guys think?!?! I would REALLLY appreicate any help I can get!! Thx!

If I wrote that I always wanted to be a nurse, I would be lying. In fact, ever since I was a young girl I wanted to go to medical school, and this belief stayed with me through college. I firmly believed at the time that I loved science more than interacting with people, and desired to pursue an MD/PhD route. While working at my first job as a molecular biology research technician however, my happiness decreased over time. I benefited greatly form working in the lab: it aided in developing my critical thinking and problem solving skills, and for that I am forever grateful. However, I still had a void within me. I began volunteering as a playspace activity leader at Horizons for Homeless Children and instantly knew what was missing in my life: human care and compassion.

Working as a clinical research coordinator has given me the ability to examine both the roles of the physician and nurse. I realized that these two professions are markedly different. While I respect the role of the physician in focusing on the medical aspects of the patient, I found the role of the nurse to be much more appealing as it focuses on the person as a whole.

As a person, I have always had a strong drive and determination. I have always thrived on challenges, decision making and taking initiative. In fact, when I bought my first pair of skates, I was so eager to play that my coach stated "Kid, you can't play hockey like a pro on the day you buy your skates." Through my experiences, I have learned the gift of living one day at a time. Although I would ultimately like to pursue a masters or doctoral degree, I know that I need to first work on a solid foundation, and I am confident that Johns Hopkins University's accelerated BSN nursing program will offer me just that.

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I think it's great & it should really impress the group that reads it.

However, there is one tiny typo-

"I benefited greatly form working in the lab:" I'm sure you meant, "from"

Good luck. I'd admit you!

Dixie

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Specializes in ICU.

I think this essay is off to a great start. Any chance you could post the prompt you're responding to? That might give us a better idea of how to help you out. I particularly like the part about your skates; I even think you could expound on this a little more.

You might consider re-wording the statements about needing "human care and compassion" and focusing on the "person as a whole." To me, it sounds kind of demeaning to the medical profession, although this may not be your intention. You never know what types of people are on these admissions committees, and they just might take exception to your assumption that nursing is more compassionate than medicine.

Good luck with this; admissions essays can be so tricky sometimes. I wish you the very best of luck!

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Specializes in 5th Semester - Graduation Dec '09!.

Seriously, the personal statement will make you or break you. You have so many people with excellent academic records, and your personal statement is what make you stand out!

Word of caution: some programs are very sensitive about people saying they wanted to be a doctor, as if they are settling for nursing. Yours doesn't come off that way but I would play down the doctor part. Medicine and Nursing are not comparable-- they are 2 totally different disciplines, which both deal with "caring and compassion."

Use power words which will help you stand out! http://www.emurse.com/blog/2007/02/08/complete-list-of-english-power-words/

I think it is good to say something about the school. My closing for my essay was "I am eager to represent the University of Arizona College of Nursing, both in my academic career and into the workforce. "

PS... I know how hard it is to write this thing.... I racked my sister (a nurse) for help cause it was just too difficult to write. You will be fine!

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I would expand on why nursing is a better fit for you than an MD. I agree with the poster above - nursing schools want people who truly want to be a nurse. I don't doubt that you do, but given that you are competing for a spot I would really make it absolutely clear that a career in nursing is really what you want.

My other suggestion is to be more specific about what type of masters/doctoral degree you want to pursue, and where you want your career to go. Again, I don't doubt that you want to get your masters (I do too) but I think that it might be wise for you to explain that after you finish your bachelors, you plan to continue your education to earn a masters in ____(whatever area of nursing appeals to you)_____ so you can do _____(whatever you'd like to do with your higher degree)______ in your community. Giving specifics is much more convincing in this essay than a generic "I want to get a higher degree" kind of statement because it shows that you have really thought about this and do have a plan and goals beyond finishing your immediate degree. I even specified that I wanted to get my masters from the school I am currently attending (I am not so sure about that at the moment, but was then) because I thought possibly that would make them see a few $$ dollar signs in my application, too.

I really think you've written a good essay, and I wish you the best. Remember that this is your chance to brag like crazy about how wonderful you are and how perfect you are for this program. You want this essay to make them think they'd be absolutely insane to reject you. So talk yourself up. My academic advisor told me exactly this, and that's what I did. I got in on my first try. :)

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Specializes in SRNA.

Hey everyone, the essay prompt for this question is:

"Why do you want to be a nurse? Include your academic, professional and life experiences to date and how they are relevant to the nursing profession."

I'm applying to the same school (JHU) as the OP and re-working my statement as well, the tricky thing being that they want you to restrict yourself to 200-300 works maximum. This is the tough part...editing!

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Specializes in L&D.

I think that what you have so far is really good. The advise that L&D gave is right on about elaborating on your future plans. In addition, I would add the caring and compassionate aspects of your personality along with what you have concerning your ambition and critical thinking skills.

As for the doctor part, I mentioned that I wanted to be I doctor in my essay as well, but I didn't compare being a doctor to nursing. I just stated that I liked having more of a hands-on role with patients, which is what nursing is all about. In my Fundamental class, they talk about the differences between medical and nursing diagnoses and I what you said was an accurate statement. I think that statement is fine.

Also, look up some nursing mission statements and add some of those key words in your essay.

I know how nerve-wrecking it is to write that essay, but just be honest and write from your heart. I started my personal statement with, "I just want be happy," and went from there. It worked out great for me because I'm in my 1st semester at my 1st school of choice! Good Luck!

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Your 1st 2 paragraphs are about you becoming a doctor...they might be offended(the reader may be the wife or family member of a Dr.!!).and make them think that you are unsure of yourself and cant be in one place too long.Start with a little personal history.."I am a 30y old wife and mother of 2, i work part time at....with the encouragement of my family yada yada yada I decied to persue my dream of entering into the medical field and become a nurse....add they whys here..try to avoid cliches..then add why you have chosen their program(read their mission statement and incorporate that into it) and that they have a reputation for blah blah and and with hard work you can meet the demands of the program and be a part of a respected program...from here i can be best prepared to blah blah and have a solid academic foundation to continue with my BSN(or MSN) or whatever......If you are taking any pre req's, check with your schools English Dept., they usually have advisors and writing labs, even websites to submit your paper or ideas for assistance..I had a tough composition teacher and she is why I do well with essays... write a couple of drafts and get feedback, esp if you know professionals(not just in nursing field) who are managers to get a feel for what points they look for for a prospective employer.Good Luck!!

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