has anyone else been in this situation (bashing please)

[IdianaCNA1993]

I haven't written in a while I have been self improving onmy own but tonight I am stirred up and kind of worried. And it's a long storywith a lot of other factors. So here's how it goes there is a QMA/CNA that Iwork with who is ONLY a CNA the facility I work at does not use Qs then thereis this cook I went to high school with and we are friends I don't like girlsin that way(and all my co workers know and don't care) and then there is theresidents one is the administrators mom who has dementia and is pleasantly confusedbut sometimes with it but not really. Then there is another resident whose oneof the nurse's brothers. Then there is this PRN nurse we have been workingunder for a few days while the nurse who has the brother is on leave due to herhusband passing away. This facility can hold36 people and right now has 19. Here is some back ground

Everyone residents and staff and management is all like afamily all the staff get along we don't gossip accept the Q and about the Q . Ilove this job it feels like home! All the residents do for them self acceptlike 6 or 7. There is this one resident that hallucinates and thinks that everyonethe Q walks in to the room with the Q is married to so the Q is married to meand the Q has this thing going with her that we have 6 kids and yada yada yadakind of gets on my nerve that the Q does this I would like to tell her to knockit off but you have to pretty much be mean to get her to one of the nurses gotwrote up for laying in to her one night for talking nonstop about the samething but she stopped talking, you have to be downright nasty with her. So that'sall the Q jokes to me about and it gets on my nerves plus she is lazy and triesto get out of the simplest of things and all she does is talks talks talks hasno off switch. She thinks everyone likes her and they don't there is another ladywith dementia that just hates her and we can never get the resident to bed ifthe Q is in sight one night this resident grabbed her the Q by the hair and tried bashing the Qsface in to the wall. Now this old lady loves me but then again she likes allmen so I have no behaviors as long as I'm patient and explain what I'm doing. Anyway so tonight.

The smokers where all waiting for the Q to take them out forlast smoke break at 8p I was looking at the news paper waiting so I could goput the resident that hates the Q to bed while she was out so she didn't comein and muddy things all up like she the Q does she also thinks that I needsomeone to hold my hand and baby sit me and I don't. Any way so the cook wastaking out the trash from the kitchen and I asked her in front of the smokersif she wanted to go play bingo in a couple of weeks at the legion. She saidsure why not. I should have kicked myself for doing that. Any way so I'mwrapping up with putting the Q hater to bed and they both come in the room cookwas smiling and the Q laughing the Q says "they all think you and the cook aredating! You and I aren't married any more" I'm just like what? Then she's like "that'swhat resident smokes a lot says and they all think you guys are a good couple!"so any way we all go up to the med cart I needed to tell the nurse something aboutearlier in the night or to see if I needed to apply some powder to the Q hatersscoriations. Didn't get to do that the Q interrupts and starts telling thenurse about the dating thing. The other nurse's brother is still sitting thereand I'm thinking oh god kill me now! Any way I just say so that it don't getout of hand and so it can work its way through the grape vine "the cook and Iare cousin not kissing cousins!" (although we are not cousins just to get thewhole thing to stop) and the Q makes this sexual remark right as the admin'smom comes out of her room the Q as adopted her and the admins mom gets thatlook on her face like leave me the heck alone when the Q over steps her boundaries.So the Q invites her in and I'm thinking oh great that's all me need. And the Qkeeps it going. So it's going on in front of the nurse trying to pass meds, thecook, the other nurses brother, and now the admin's mom. And the Q keepstalking dirty about kissing cousins and the admin's mom goes "well just becareful accidents can happen with kissing cousins" and I'm just keeping a smiletrying not to strangle this Q in front of the 2 residents that were in the hallat the time. Because the other nurse's brother can be a gossip and Im afraid hewill tell. Although him and I get along. I'm more worried about the admins momeven though she has dementia. I am just worried that I will get in trouble eventhough I didn't say anything in the wrong and I didn't keep it going I juststuck around because it was all right there at the nurses station pretty muchand I had charting to do. I am justafraid I will get in trouble for something I didn't really do and for somethingI did not feel comfortable with and trying to put it to an end without beingmean and really expressing myself to this Q. the PRN nurse has talked to theDON about the Q how she talks sexually all the time no matter what and how Iwas afraid to come talk to the DON because I was afraid of looking bad forsaying I don't want to work with her no more but still keep my hours becausethis Q drains the life out of me and I feel like work don't get done with her. I am just at my wits end and I love this joband I don't want to lose this job either for something someone else is doing. Orfor roomers. I really don't want to go to the DON and have it get really blownout of proportion I want to wait and see if anything is said. I have even toldthis Q that we need to watch what we say in front of the residents and we needto get our work done. And it kind of sucks that I've been an aide for a yearand a half and this Q has been doing it for 15 years and I'm the mature one. I just don't want to getin trouble for things I have not control in! Help no bashing!

[mvm2]

I know it is easier said then done sometimes, but if you love this job and you want to keep it, just try to ignore Q. It sounds like someone is already talking to the DON about them so hopefully things will change. If Q does not stop try to talk with them once more to explain to Q how their talking is making you feel uncomfortable and to please stop it.. If Q does not stop it take it to the DON anyways. You can explain to them how you have really tried to talk to them but they simply will not stop it. Sexual harassment of any kind is not right in any work place and it needs to stop one way or another. It is part of the DONs job to handle things like this.

Just keep working hard and stay out of trouble. Also I know this can sometimes be hard because we want to vent our frustrations on someone,, but don't be a part of any gossip around that might be about her because that stuff could go to the DON and you would look like you were in the wrong as well. As my Dad always says "keep your nose clean" and she will not have any amo on you if things have to get ugly with the DON involved.

Hopefully though maybe things will settle down and you will be able to focus on your job, and have some peace in the work place. Good luck

[mvm2]

Another thing I thought of is that perhaps they are just plan bored at work, and teasing you and trying to get a rise out of you is simple amusment for them. Not saying it is right at all, some of the things they have said is totally inappropriate, and they should be repromended in accordance to your works rules and regulations. But if you stop reacting to what they says in all ways they might get sick of it and stop it, plus there is nothing for you to get into trouble over it.

[IdianaCNA1993]

I talked to the nurse I worked with that night she said she remembers bits and pieces about it she always drowns out the QMA but to night I worked with another aide that I love working with we also went to high school together just didn't know each other (living in a small town is great!) but I had asked her if the QMA had ever said she was her favorite to work with because the QMA told me that I was her favorite and I was just curious because I felt that we were getting played so the aide I was working with texted her and asked and she got mad and told her that I was a trouble maker she also stated to the nurse that the boys meaning I and another worker always sit on our behinds and don't do jack when in fact I work circles around her and I can never find her because she is either in the bathroom or hiding some where. the only time I sit is when I cant find her and everything else is caught up and that can be done is done. we have all as a team effort given her rides to work due to her car being broke down so we wouldn't have to work by ourselves and what not. well I have decided she isn't getting anymore rides when I work with her she can find her own way because I can handle 19 people by myself as long as the nurse helps me when I need it. I also heard that she drives her car all around town so I think that since I am a trouble maker and a lazy bum she can get her butt to walking or she can get some one else to bring her to work or I can work on my own. but I think I am going to go talk to the DON because I'm done with working with her I want some change. I even told the staff that I worked with today that I was thinking about going to go get my QMA if I had to keep working with her just so when she brags about being a QMA or as she says it a QMA nurse I can be like haha so am I. I am pretty much the mature one I have to et bossy and mean just like to get stuff done when we work with her and I don't like that. LOL or better yet I'm not picking her up Monday when I have to go to work I'm not even going to pick her up my phone ran out of time today so I wont have a phone till pay day. I can be so vindictive :) sorry is I'm whiney I'm just fed up she's the only co worker I cant stand I get along with all my other co workers and we all love working with each other the DON has done a great job of getting together a team of nurses and aides just one bad apple with an orange center lol I have learned through advice on here in the past that people that judge in nursing are the one that aren't doing there work. and It is ever so clear to me now :)