Published May 22, 2004
louloubell1
350 Posts
I am getting so nervous about starting anesthesia school this fall. I mean, first there's the money thing, or more accurately, the lack of money thing. Don't get me wrong. I've been saving up money, and am working tons and tons of OT this summer to save up even more, so I know we (me, my DH, and our four children) will be okay, but its a little bit of an uncomfortable feeling to know that we may be surviving on cold cuts and PB&J until school is over. Of course, I get to feeling freaked about that and then I see some poor grungy guy begging on the street near the inner city hospital where I work and I realize how petty I am being because I'm worried I won't be able to buy the new jeans or shoes I really adored and this guy can't afford food or a decent place to sleep at night. Then I realize I am so lucky that not only do my husband and I have the ability and skills to earn a decent living, but we also have the opportunity for me to advance my career in such an awesome way.
The really big thing that is making me nervous is that I keep feeling like maybe I'm not really smart enough to do this. Maybe I just slipped by the admissions committee and don't really belong there. I've talked with a couple of people I know who are in their last couple of semesters of anesthesia school and they said they felt some of those same things before they started school. Can anybody else relate to this?
tcrn
104 Posts
This is exactly how I feel too! I am struggling with knowing I should be doing more ot and wanting to just take some time off. Do simple things like going to lunch with the girls or taking my daughter swimming. Things I won't have the luxury of in the coming time frame. We too really dread the financial tightening of the belt.
Every single day I have to talk myself out of negetive self talk and tell myself that I will be learning to develop better study skills, ect. That I will make it.... praying to God that I do well, pass everything the first time around, learn to safely give anesthetics, and still have a happy family at the end of the journey.
Hopefully, I can be a person who inspires others that through faith in God and working hard one can make life just a little sweeter.
MaleAPRN
206 Posts
You guys are not the only ones feeling this way :imbar
Eventhough I've been in nursing since 1996 and have worked in critical care for several years, I am getting goose bumps just thinking about the FIRST day of orientation. I am anxious to meet all of my fellow SRNAs. I sometimes think that, "Gosh, what if I'm the "green apple" in the class - as far as my ICU/ER experience, etc." ALL THE WHAT-IFS....
But, I kept thinking back to what the Director told me during my interview. She told me that, once everyone enters the classroom on the 1st day, each and everyone in there are EQUAL. Our ICU experiences may certainly be diverse and one may have more experience in one area than the other person, but as far as she's concerned...everyone is starting off from the same plate.
It also all depends on how everyone gets along. One of the things that can disrupt the "harmony" of a class, is that one person that will pretend to "know it all"...the COCKY one that will look very confident during lectures, clinicals, etc.
I hope and I keep praying every night that the class I will be going to spend the rest of my 2 years with, will be pleasant and that each of us will enjoy each other's company. And, most importantly...that everyone in the group would be able to work well and cooperate well with each other.
The fact that, I don't have any children (well, 2 large dogs and 2 cats - they are my kids...hehehe) and other heavy financial obligations (I'll be living off the money I get from the sale of my home here in CA) - the other stresses I have right now is packing, moving (hoping that the moving company I hired will not hold my belongings for ransom...hehehe), looking for a house in a GOOD neighborhood, and selling my home and leaving my friends and family for 2+ years. I can only imagine what other SRNAs with a family and other obligations are going through.
The only thing that I can say is...try not to think about what can go wrong, but, keep thinking about what it will mean for us and for our families when we're done with CRNA school
Ava's mom
41 Posts
Oh, it's so nice to hear that others are feeling the same as I am!!! I too have had feelings of insufficiency. I wandered throught the bookstore while I was in town trying to find a place to live...just looking at the books gave me both a rush of adrenaline and a sinking feeling all at the same time. I just have to keep telling myself that I can do this and in the long run it will make a better life for my family.
I think that vinnysca is right in that a lot of our misery/happiness will depend on how the class gets along. There are going to be 12 in my class (11 of which are female). A CRNA that I work with gave me some great advice that I want to share with you all (common sense, but a good point). She said that the most important thing is to not become competetive with one another and instead to share both pitfalls and successes with your class, because this way everyone can learn something from each other's experiences.
I am taking the summer off to spend with my daughter/husband and plan on savoring every moment with my family. I know that this time will be precious to me once school starts. I feel very lucky that I am able to do this.
Good luck to all this fall!!!
SRNA to be,
Ava's mom :)
hulk
18 Posts
i, also, feel like maybe i slipped in by accident. i have 5+ years of icu experience, but still worry that i will be the "dumb" one in the class. i won't even go into the financial worries. however, whether i deserve it or not, i will be in a program come august and in the end i will be a crna--i just have to stay focused on that.
BabyRN2Be
1,987 Posts
Can I make a suggestion to you all? I know that this is not my specialty, but maybe Kelli Dunham's book might be able to help you. It's entitled, "How to Survive and Maybe Even Love Nursing School." I've read the book, and found it to be very informative. It provided a lot of resources about time management, money management, child care, etc. I know that this is written for those who are just starting nursing school, but maybe you could apply this to your situation. Good luck to you all... everyone here who has gotten into school is truly a lucky bunch. :) Hope all of you do well!
PTU2SLP
Okay guys/girls, take a deep breath and say out loud "I will be okay". I am finishing my first year in anesthesia school and I remember being in your shoes. I had no idea how I would survive financially or if I was anywhere near smart enough to do this...but I've made it so far. There are alot of hard times ahead for you but believe me, if I can do this so can you. Just remember it's all a big game, and you're going to play it!
Ianv
17 Posts
You all hit the nail on the head as to how i feel. My wife and I just closed on our house in the Youngstown area last week and we move in 2 weeks. I just keep questioning my ability, knowledge and experience hoping that I have enough to make it through the first semester let alone the whole program. Luckily I have I very supportive wife and family that will be near by for support. I think I have gotten my financial worries under control for now, we won't be living in the lap of luxury but my wife makes decent money and we will have enough to get by. Plus my wifes family and my family are only minutes from us to help us with child care so that alleviates some worries. Like Vinny said if we have good supportive classmates that aren't competative but support each other through the process it will be much better. I do feel better knowing that I am not the only one with all these feelings.
JennInColumbus
77 Posts
Your worries about not being smart enough sound so familiar to me because I've been there myself. So I think I will share a little story with you.
Last Thanksgiving my boyfriend had to work and I didn't feel like spending the holiday at home alone so I piled my two great danes in the car and drove to Michigan to spend the day with family.
It is a 2.5 hour drive so I had lots of time to think and I was mostly thinking about the acceptance letter I had received from nursing school the week before. I started out excited at the idea that I would be starting soon, but I couldn't help but wonder, am I smart enough for nursing school? How can I even think about potentially being a CRNA when I'm not sure I will even become a nurse? I'm probably not smart enough to be an RN, let alone a CRNA.
The longer I thought about it the more positive I was that didn't have a snowball's chance in he** of becoming a nurse and that donkey's would fly before I would become a CRNA. The closer I got to Michigan the more upset I was. I'm sure anyone in a passing car was wondering what is up with that clown car... 2 huge dogs hanging out the windows and a sobbing basketcase behind the wheel. I had allowed my negative thoughts to get me so down that I was alternating between sniffling and sobbing, utterly convinced that a moron like me could never be a nurse.
Between sniffles I became aware of a car passing me... a nice car, a lexus SUV. Nothing out of the ordinary really, until it passes me and I read the license plate. I did a double take GAS PASR. I was flabbergasted. I can be dense sometimes but that struck me loud and clear as a sign.
I'm now in my second quarter of nursing school. I was the only person from my entire nursing class that got an A in into to nursing... 70+ people and I was the only A, but I didn't need that grade to prove my worth anymore, I know I'm good enough because I saw a license plate that told me so. :) I guess I owe a thank you to an MDA or CRNA somewhere in Ohio who has vanity plates.
The moral of the story... listen to all of the people who believe in you, especially those who chose you out of so many applicants to be an SRNA. Don't worry about the money, don't worry about school, everything will work out fine.
I hope to be following in your footsteps in a few short years.
Jenn
IBorg
32 Posts
Your worries about not being smart enough sound so familiar to me because I've been there myself. So I think I will share a little story with you.Last Thanksgiving my boyfriend had to work and I didn't feel like spending the holiday at home alone so I piled my two great danes in the car and drove to Michigan to spend the day with family.It is a 2.5 hour drive so I had lots of time to think and I was mostly thinking about the acceptance letter I had received from nursing school the week before. I started out excited at the idea that I would be starting soon, but I couldn't help but wonder, am I smart enough for nursing school? How can I even think about potentially being a CRNA when I'm not sure I will even become a nurse? I'm probably not smart enough to be an RN, let alone a CRNA. The longer I thought about it the more positive I was that didn't have a snowball's chance in he** of becoming a nurse and that donkey's would fly before I would become a CRNA. The closer I got to Michigan the more upset I was. I'm sure anyone in a passing car was wondering what is up with that clown car... 2 huge dogs hanging out the windows and a sobbing basketcase behind the wheel. I had allowed my negative thoughts to get me so down that I was alternating between sniffling and sobbing, utterly convinced that a moron like me could never be a nurse.Between sniffles I became aware of a car passing me... a nice car, a lexus SUV. Nothing out of the ordinary really, until it passes me and I read the license plate. I did a double take GAS PASR. I was flabbergasted. I can be dense sometimes but that struck me loud and clear as a sign.I'm now in my second quarter of nursing school. I was the only person from my entire nursing class that got an A in into to nursing... 70+ people and I was the only A, but I didn't need that grade to prove my worth anymore, I know I'm good enough because I saw a license plate that told me so. :) I guess I owe a thank you to an MDA or CRNA somewhere in Ohio who has vanity plates.The moral of the story... listen to all of the people who believe in you, especially those who chose you out of so many applicants to be an SRNA. Don't worry about the money, don't worry about school, everything will work out fine. I hope to be following in your footsteps in a few short years.Jenn
Jenn, this is a great story and comforting because we all doubt our ability and good fortunate to get into our programs and prbably will unto the day we graduate from the crna program. I hope those doubts will be my source of inspiration thru the next 2 1/2 yrs. And it's truly a sign that we belong because we were chosen from a large pool of applicants.
trakstar
45 Posts
I am nervous as well. However remember the schools that have admitted you into their programs have done so because thet are confident that not only you can finish their program but that you will make an excellent CRNA who will one day represtative of product of their program. We all can and will do it. Be positive!!!
XIGRIS
234 Posts
You guys are not the only ones feeling this way :imbar Eventhough I've been in nursing since 1996 and have worked in critical care for several years, I am getting goose bumps just thinking about the FIRST day of orientation. I am anxious to meet all of my fellow SRNAs. I sometimes think that, "Gosh, what if I'm the "green apple" in the class - as far as my ICU/ER experience, etc." ALL THE WHAT-IFS.... But, I kept thinking back to what the Director told me during my interview. She told me that, once everyone enters the classroom on the 1st day, each and everyone in there are EQUAL. Our ICU experiences may certainly be diverse and one may have more experience in one area than the other person, but as far as she's concerned...everyone is starting off from the same plate.It also all depends on how everyone gets along. One of the things that can disrupt the "harmony" of a class, is that one person that will pretend to "know it all"...the COCKY one that will look very confident during lectures, clinicals, etc. I hope and I keep praying every night that the class I will be going to spend the rest of my 2 years with, will be pleasant and that each of us will enjoy each other's company. And, most importantly...that everyone in the group would be able to work well and cooperate well with each other.The fact that, I don't have any children (well, 2 large dogs and 2 cats - they are my kids...hehehe) and other heavy financial obligations (I'll be living off the money I get from the sale of my home here in CA) - the other stresses I have right now is packing, moving (hoping that the moving company I hired will not hold my belongings for ransom...hehehe), looking for a house in a GOOD neighborhood, and selling my home and leaving my friends and family for 2+ years. I can only imagine what other SRNAs with a family and other obligations are going through. The only thing that I can say is...try not to think about what can go wrong, but, keep thinking about what it will mean for us and for our families when we're done with CRNA school
I'm reading this around 0100 Texas time. I am here in Fort Worth. i finally found me a place to stay for 28 months. At least i don't have to leave Texas for clinicals. I am going to be at Oesteopathics Hospital here.
Anyway, I, too, am nervous and scared. Financially, I am not sure if my savings will suppor me the whole 28 months. I have faith that God will provide for everything.
Like vinny I am worried not because of my clinical background ( 14 years CVICU background ) but because the last time I studied very hard was in 1990, my last year in nursing school. It is funny because the first question the interviewer asked me was to draw the periodic table. I thoguht he was joking but he continued and of course, I barely remember it. I am nervous because my brain cells are not as good as they were when i was 20. With faith in God I am going to start school in August. i have a couple of friends who are CRNAs and are in their CRNA programs and they all are very supportive. I hope they are right.
Hope all of us will have a good start.... and let's keep in touch Class of 2006!