Any literary-inclined nurses or educators care to critique my admission essay?

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Specializes in CSICU/CTICU.

Hi all,

I am in the process of applying for an accelerated BSN program and I have the misfortune of not knowing any Nurses very "personally". Although I can bounce ideas off of friends/family, it would be helpful to get some opinions on my admissions essay from someone in the nursing or education field! If you are interested in lending a much appreciated helping hand, please let me know!

Elle

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Specializes in cardiac.

Post your essay and I'll gladly give it a read.

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Specializes in psych, addictions, hospice, education.

...so will I, but please also post whatever your essay is answering, so we can see how well you did it in that sense too...

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Specializes in insanity control.

I also would be glad to help. Both the question and answer need to be posted to get an idea of how well you addressed the question.

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Specializes in ER, OR, PACU, TELE, CATH LAB, OPEN HEART.

I will help also. However, without the assignment question and response I can not give you feedback. Post those and then I can help.

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Specializes in CSICU/CTICU.

Thank you all for the responses! For the sake of my privacy, I am going to private message the essay to the interested parties (and anyone else), as some personal information in my essay might compromise my privacy and be floating out othere on the internet! I will be sending both the prompt and the essay to the four of you! Thanks again!

Elle

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Specializes in psych, addictions, hospice, education.

I found your question and essay in my email (didn't know posting something here would send it there!) and have responded....

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Specializes in cardiac.

I read your essay and I think it sounds great! I like how you have incorporated some of the aspects of what is learned in nursing school into your goals and reasons why you want to become a nurse. It sounds like a winning essay to me!

The only thing I would change is some of the wording was a little funny in places.

I would also try to elaborate on this phrase:My experiences with the survivors and hospital staff electrified my desire to go in to Nursing,

Explain how working with the staff has increased your desire to become a nurse.

I know there are word limits so I would maybe expand on this idea and maybe put less details about your previous work in the ED.

I hope this helps and good luck,

~Christie

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Specializes in CSICU/CTICU.

God only knows where Im sending this thing..I didn't mean to e-mail anyone but it turns out that I have...and when I try to check "sent" messages, nothing comes up..alas, thank you for all your help :-)

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