Am I really supposed to be a nurse?

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Specializes in LTC, rehab, medical review.

I graduated LPN school in June, had a baby in July, took the NCLEX-PN and passed in Sept, and started my job at a nursing home on an Alzheimer's unit in November. I got 3 weeks of orientation, and was on my own after Thanksgiving. I still feel lost and overwhelmed. I am ok with the med pass, but after that I get lost. With all the treatments and the making sure that my 19 residents are ok, and the paperwork and charting and labs, I dont know where to begin. The other nurses I work with are great and understanding, so I know I am lucky for that. They have just been doing a lot of my work for me and I feel like more of a burden than a help (i.e. I am so busy being slow that labs came in that I am still passing meds out when it comes in so the other nurse puts it thru to the dr and gets the orders and writes them.) Today, my UM was on a cart, too, so she asked me if I could help her out and do her Tx for her. I said I would. Keep in mind that on my floor the nurses have to feed, so I cannot do any work from 8-9, and then we give report to the CNA's from 9-9:30 and then we also have to feed from 12-1. Thats a lot of lost time. I feel so ovwewhelmed with all the things I need to remember. A few days ago one of my residents got a skin tear. Just a skin tear, and I asked my UM what to do. I didnt know what kind of dressing to put on it or anything. I felt really dumb. Then, I didnt know that we had to fill out incident reports for that, so I never did. I saw another nurse the other day filling one out for a skin tear and got really nervous b/c I never did one. So I feel REALLY stupid now that I never did one. I told my UM and she said she'll figure out what to do later. All these things all this responsibility...I really love my residents, and I love that I care for them. I love the people I work with, I just feel stuipid and overwhelmed all the time. I worry that the people I work with find me annoying and that I will get fired for making mistakes. I worry that I go home and they talk about how annoying I am...I am probably paraniod, but I am really stressed about this and trying to get my job down right. These other nurses go about their days to fluidly (I know they have bumps along the way, but they are still done with all their work and tx's) and here I am floundering like a fish out of water. Did I make a mistake being a nurse? My UM has told me that I am doing a good job, but this was a week or so ago. I want to ask how I am honestly doing, but I dont want to seem needy...you know? I try to act confident and happy, but I feel like a burden to them...anyone else feel this way? When does it all come together?

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You'll get there, honey. Really.

I still wake up some days wondering if today's the day they'll discover I'm a fraud. I'm not. Neither are you.

:)

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Specializes in LTC, rehab, medical review.
You'll get there, honey. Really.

I still wake up some days wondering if today's the day they'll discover I'm a fraud. I'm not. Neither are you.

:)

Thanks so much for the words of confidence. I am just really worried about the incident report thing.

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Specializes in General med/surg for now ... stay tuned!.
You'll get there, honey. Really.

I still wake up some days wondering if today's the day they'll discover I'm a fraud. I'm not. Neither are you.

:)

Hi there 1uvakindmom,

I hope what Im about to say comes out the right way, but I am always so relieved to read and know that others are/were feeling the same distress/confusion/embarrassment/bewilderment etc that I felt at the beginning, and still do on plenty of days. Its so easy to think you are alone in this dark place but try to remember that you are not .... and it seems you have a good crew to work with and that makes a difference! So hang in there! I think what Suesquatch wrote is marvellous and worth remembering every day! Cheers! :kiss

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Incident reports are smoething you need to be taught to write. And in LTC if ANYTHING happens ask your supe what paperwork you need.

:)

They will NOT get rid of you because you didn't write one.

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Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.

You've said the nurse's you work with are supportive and pitch in to help you. I think that if you've been off orientation for a month and they are still helping you to learn- it means they think you will be able to handle the job. You would've started to get negative feedback by now if they felt otherwise--- sooo....

Accept the help, thank them and do the job to the best of your ability every day!! They will want you to develop a confident demeanor-- which really all nurses have to do when they are dealing with something new or unexpected. Questions about things you don't fully understand is not a bad thing, you need to do that. I would just suggest not asking the same questions over and over or seeming to always need to be reassured. It sounds like these people are for you, they're on your side. I had a hel l of a time grasping that as I tend to behave in an insecure manner myself.

I remember so well when I was fairly new I was alone in the break room with (oh god kill me now) the Director of Nursing, I probably asked something simple with my face full of my usual anxiety- she looked a little askance at me almost smiling and said, "Really, nursel56, it's not THAT big a deal!!"

Then I realized how I must have appeared to her! What a wake-up call. Hang in there, you'll be fine. :)

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