Am I Meant To Be A Nurse?

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The last time I cared for a patient was more than three years ago, a few days before I graduated from a Nursing School in a foreign country. I had consistently been an exemplary student and many of my classmates and teachers admired me for my knowledge, skills, and my diligence. In other words, everybody saw a very bright future in me.

A couple of months later, I passed the licensure exam in the country I was from. For the very first time, the two most coveted letters (RN) have been formally placed right after my name. While it waved pride and honor, I had never done anything at all to prove that I am worthy of becoming one.

Many patients have been lucky enouh to receive my tender loving care, but I myself am not even sure if those were inherent on my part or were intentionally given to give myself credit (you know, there's always some sort of competition in any kind of school you go to) and for doing so I gave myself bragging rights to be one of the top students during my time.

No matter how much I say that I love my parents so much that I would walk the ends of the earth to prove them that I'm the best daughter any parent could ever have, I have never (and I mean never) ever in my life have I really showed them how to care for a sick loved one. I remember when my mom would get sick (she has this terrible migraine that would strike every so often) and could do nothing else but stay in bed and complain about how difficult it is to be in pain especially without my father (who works abroad) by his side. Lucky for her, she's got two nurses in the house (my brother and myself). My brother is the one who is more caring, more nurse-like and more deserving of a very bright future than I am. I give him the credits that he never owned before, sadly because I overshadowed his accomplishments by having an over-achiever for a sister.

Now, more than three years after I got licensed to brag, I still have not done anything any nursing gradute would do after getting their RN title. My brother has already passed the NCLEX-RN and would soon be in the United States of America where everyone I know yearns to work, he has a stable nursing career in the Philippines and married to nurse who is also working her way to the NCLEX-RN and I'm sure she'll do great, and they certainly got that personality fit for a nurse who has great potential to succeed in the future, and I am so very proud of him.

And me, I just don't have it... maybe a very good reason why after trying three times for a US-RN license, I still could not prove myself worthy of those six numbers required of me to be able to work here in this country where everyone I know yearns to work -- and they will do so with tender loving care. Maybe I am not meant to be one, or maybe someone else is more deserving of a license that I might get hold of... I, who went through nursing school with flying colors but could not give justice to the pride and honor that being a nurse can give me.

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woh.. are u in the philippines?

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Destiny is what you make of it. At one point in our lives, we question whether what are we meant to be. I, too, am an over-achiever. I, too, want to care for patients not solely because I render care to them...deep down inside, there is this lingering thoughts that I need to be the best. With being the best comes pride, and because of that, I tend to limit my questions to other people. Every time I do not ask, it is as if I am stepping on one sharp needle after the other. The point being is that only you can determine if you are meant for greatness or not. No matter which path you take, God will always guide you and He will never leave you.

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Specializes in Psych, hospice,homecare, admin., Neuro,.

Keep on trying and don't give up.

Debbie:yeah:

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Specializes in Wannabe NICU/PED Nurse.

I would say pray about it- not everyone is religious I know this- but I turn everything over to God- I ask him all the time to guide me in what I should do- and I do not know for sure if this is the right path for me too- but I do know that this is something I am passionate about something I know I want to do and be great at with all my heart- with everything in me I will work towards becoming an RN- no one really knows what they are supposed to do at the time- that is why we have dreams- just don't give up on yours- and if you find this is what you think about doing- from the time you wake up in the morning to when you fall asleep at night- then that is what you should be doing. I pray that you find it- whatever it is- that one thing that will make you happy- and fulfill your dreams and your destiny. It will come to you -no matter what it is. Good luck with whatever you decide to do... And one more thing I bet if you asked your brother -he would prob say he doesn't think he has done anything "worthy" of being called an RN either- we are all out worst critics- give yourself the credit you deserve- you made it through schooling- you pushed and did acheive that title- you are further along than I am- I still have a long ways to go- does that make you more deserving than me to be a Nurse? I don't think so- we all work at our own pace- it isn't about how fast your run the "race"- its about finishing the race- making it to the goal line. So have more faith in yourself- you will be amazing at whatever you do in life!

Love,

Audrey

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Maybe if you did some volunteer work in a hospital or nursing home or some related health care field, you could get some experience with helping others and see if that part of you gets "sparked" or not. I know I have been working in a totally unrelated field and realized after 18 years that it was not what I really wanted to do. I want to help others, thus kept volunteering over the years. Now have decided to become a nurse and am taking classes. But it wasn't until I volunteered and exposed myself to the people, the environment, that I could make that decision.

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"sometimes things get set in motion that must be played out. god's timing is not our timing"

don't despair..lots of rn's are in the same boat..just keep persevering, strengthen your faith in god and leave the rest to him..he knows what's best for us..

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You know what?.......Just because someone passes the NCLEX does not make them a nurse!!

You nurse from hear, your soul and your guts. The NCLEX is just a test. Buy KapLan University test cards and the Nursing made easy book. Set a goal to answer a hundred nursing questioins a day from websites, books, cd's...etc.

When you test don't use your common nursing sense. Learn what they want you to know and you will do fine......Good luck!!!

:heartbeat

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Your good heart shall tell you where to go..

Your sharp mind shall tell you how to get there...

and your deep love for GOD shall guide you on your way....

Just armed yourself with faith..

remember CHance favors the prepared mind.....:up:

GODBLESS.u:nuke::nuke::nuke:

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hi colleague, same here!! i feel the same! i passed, but hiring here in philippines is really hard. evethough you've got high grades at licensure exam, still the hospitals here stops hiring nurses. i think they are also reluctant to hire a lot, because of the fact that the hopsitals serves as a training ground. don't think that you are not meant to be nurse :) because you know in your heart that this profession is also a vocation :) just wait and be proud to be called nurse alchemist :)

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Specializes in ED staff.

Only you have the right to say if you are a nurse or not. Regardless of license or not. For thousands of years there have been nurses, people who have naturally given gifts to help the ill. Let me say this too, just being able to give the comfort that people often associate with nursing doen't make you a nurse. It takes ALL kinds! I used to work with a guy who had absolutely NO bedside manner, could not tolerate the drama queen patients the ER attracts. He would say to me, "Wendy, you have the greatest patience with these people, I dunno how you do it." He had none of that, but if you had a patient who was about to croak, he was THE man. I've seen him save more people's lives than any other nurse, yet he honors ME, feels bad about himself cause he can't baby patients. He sounds kinda like you, very book smart, and you must be if English is not your native tongue. Very capable, hard working. We made a great team. That's what nurses really do, is work together as a team. If you were putting together a baseball team, you would look for people that can pitch 100 miles an hour, you'd also look for someone who can catch a 100 mile an hour fastball. Stop doubting yourself. If passed nursing school with honors, deep in your heart you know you can do this. Perhaps you are afraid of leaving your homeland, leaving your mom? Think about this hard because fear keeps a lot of people from reaching their potential. When I first went to nursing school, my son was 18 months old. I was in a bad marriage but I didn't want to deprive him of his dad. Becoming a nurse was my ticket out. Did I take the ticket, no. I flunked the pharmacology test because I was afraid to be on my own. I waited four more years and had another child before I could go back and face my fear. You MUST be honest with yourself. Face your fear..... we need more nurses here!

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...there is just one question alchemist...do you really want it bad enough to get that state licensure??? As they all say ...you can do it! focus on your strenghts and I also believe what Goal-nurse said,maybe you need to find yourself serving in the community where the real people of need are. May be there you could find the wind to fan your sails...remember God does not give you challenges which you cannot handle...

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