Advice

[pebbles049]

My husband and I both nurses work in the same facility. We work the same floor sometimes different shifts We have a patient on one floor who becomes very argumentative and seems to think my husband walks on water.(he just yeses the lady no matter what). She has his schedule memorized and becomes upset if he is not on his floor. This patient seems to fight with all of us women nurses. Yesterday something occured where the aides woke her up for breakfast and she fell back to sleep . She woke up and came screaming out into the hall about breakfast. I opened my mouth to try and explain that the aid was going to take the food and warm it up. Apparrently I was supposed to do it as the lady became angry with me. I went in to turn off her bell a half hour later and asked about the eggs and she proceeded to tell me that my husband deserved better and that I am a witch. I wanted to tell her what she was. I know that is not appropriate but this women is mean. She has her family members not wanting to come without being medicated. This lady then proceeded to pick on my weight. Yes I am fluffy and unfortunately probablly will always be. That was the boiling point though. I did get pissed and looked at the patient and said that is it I am done and not taking care of you today. Fortunately I knew my co worker could take her for the day as we already are taking care of one of hers. My issue is how do I handle this women. Every other day when i take care of her my presence seems to agitate her and she ends up telling me my husband deserves better and that i am a witch. She gets mean with the other nurses as well like I said especially the women. I seem to agitate her more.

help tired and frustrated.

[Zyprexa_Ho]

Pretty much all you can do is say that what she is doing/saying is inappropriate and that you do not deserve to be treated/talked to that way. You are a human being and don't deserve verbal abuse.

[Coolbeanz]

Sounds like a very tough situation. Im sorry to hear you have to put up with such disrespect. I think is time for a change of assignment asap. I know it will be hard but not impossible try speaking to DON at least until everything cools down you need to not be around her. This is a situation that escaleted to a personal level and can cause you your job. Good luck

[Jay bee]

How do you "handle" someone who expresses her loneliness, losses, and frustration by acting out like a "witch"?

You get to punch out and go home.

As long as this is treated on a personal 1:1 engagement - it will never change.

Feelings will be hurt, needs will remain unmet, and the dynamic will continue.

What sets her off? What triggers these flames?

As soon as you absorb the patient's tirades as a personal attack you cease to be therapeutic.

She is as a tiger in your "zoo" and you are as the rotating tourists you rattle her cage just by virtue of "doing your job".

Can you work as a team to discuss and possible create new approaches to create a more positive dynamic?

I agree that it is not pleasant to deal with loud and angry people, but you know what? This will get worse for everyone if ignored.

If nothing else, contact the patient's physician for solutions.

Or engage the support of other departments, such as OT, activities, PT.

[ktwlpn, LPN]

My husband and I both nurses work in the same facility. We work the same floor sometimes different shifts We have a patient on one floor who becomes very argumentative and seems to think my husband walks on water.(he just yeses the lady no matter what). She has his schedule memorized and becomes upset if he is not on his floor. This patient seems to fight with all of us women nurses. Yesterday something occured where the aides woke her up for breakfast and she fell back to sleep . She woke up and came screaming out into the hall about breakfast. I opened my mouth to try and explain that the aid was going to take the food and warm it up. Apparrently I was supposed to do it as the lady became angry with me. I went in to turn off her bell a half hour later and asked about the eggs and she proceeded to tell me that my husband deserved better and that I am a witch. I wanted to tell her what she was. I know that is not appropriate but this women is mean. She has her family members not wanting to come without being medicated. This lady then proceeded to pick on my weight. Yes I am fluffy and unfortunately probablly will always be. That was the boiling point though. I did get pissed and looked at the patient and said that is it I am done and not taking care of you today. Fortunately I knew my co worker could take her for the day as we already are taking care of one of hers. My issue is how do I handle this women. Every other day when i take care of her my presence seems to agitate her and she ends up telling me my husband deserves better and that i am a witch. She gets mean with the other nurses as well like I said especially the women. I seem to agitate her more.

help tired and frustrated.

You can not reason with one whose 'reasoner' is broken.In all my years in LTC the most valuable thing I ever learned is to avoid arguing back.She fights with everyone else because they engage her and fight back.So stop playing that game.She obviously has some dementia or psych issues.Think about her life,living in LTC,dependant on others and angry.Get your social worker involved,avoid escalating her.Sterile attention may be appropriate.You were out of line,IMHO,actually abusive with your remarks to her.Think about why she can push your buttons so easily.