Advice Please

Specialties Psychiatric


Since I don't deal in this type of nursing, I would like to seek help from those of you who might know what I can/should do.

My dad is an alcoholic, and progressively over the years has gotten worse. He's had 1 DUI in Kansas and then two more in Oklahoma where he lives. He has progressed from drinking beer, to drinking vodka. He actually tried a rehab one time, but only stayed for 1 week, and then left. After that, he was doing better, but still drunk for the most part.

Recently, he has gotten a lot worse. My brother just called me and said he had to go down to a bar and pick him up, literally and take him home.

I guess my question here is: What, if anything can we do? We've talked to him until we're blue in the face. We were just wondering if we can have him committed to treatment involuntarily. Who would the right people be to contact in Oklahoma to find out what his and our rights are? We're so afraid he's going to hurt someone, or himself.

My mom doesn't know what to do, and we all love my dad. Despite his alcoholism, he's really a great guy.


780 Posts

Try Alanon

sanakruz, ADN

735 Posts

If it's not treated it wil progress and be FATAL.

Dont rescue him, as hard as that might be. alanon is good but ADA (adult children of alcoholics) is better.

An intervention is called for.You may be able to find info about this from a local psych facility.

Wish you the best.


190 Posts

As a recovering addict I can tell you this he will NOT stop unless HE views it as a problem & HE hits his bottom. No matter what you say to him or do to him it will NOT work. The choice to seek help must be his. Perhaps the legal system will force him into some sort of rehab or program but this may or may not be effective in the long run. I realize it is very hard to watch but trying to save him will only serve to enable him to stay sick. I strongly suggest Alanon or some such other group for you & your family members. Unfortunately there ar some who never find recovery, I hope this is not the case for your father. At least if you seek out a group of people who are in smilar circumstances you can find a base of support for yourselves. Best wishes in this VERY difficult & painful situation. My prayers shall be for you, your family & your father. Oh & next time I would strongly encourage no one in your family go to bail him out. I would however highly recommend that if phoned b/c he is drunk somewhere go but don't bring him home instead just take his car keys...sometimes the hardest lessons learned are the most valued. Belive me I speak from personal experience.


5 Posts

Do not get fooled by the 'he has progressed to vodka' idea. If he goes back to beer, he will still be an alcoholic. There are many alcoholics who only drink beer or wine.


18 Posts

I have quite a bit of experience with this very question, working in outpatient psych. The sad truth is that you're free to drink yourself to death in this country. It doesn't qualify as imminent danger to self or others.

The only thing that works in getting someone to stop drinking are natural consequences. You can't save someone from themselves. Your brother picking your dad up from a bar is a great example of not allowing natural consequences to take their course. I know it's hard when you have to consider all of the possible consequences, but they are out of your control. Strongly concur with Alanon for you and your family.


88 Posts

Thanks for all the replies, and Gatsby, I -know- what makes an alcoholic.

I only meant, he's on to something that works quicker and hits him harder.

My heart is just broken, but you guys are right. He's the only one who can fix his problem.

I just think that if he hurts someone in a car accident, that I'll feel like I'm just as guilty as he is, so I may try to seek out a group. I attended one as a student, to observe, and it seemed helpful to those who were there.

Thanks again-


190 Posts

good luck I truly feel fo you....

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