Advice Please: severe hit in confidence department

artemis527 · Jan 17, 2009

Ah! Boy have I been there! I've had years and years of that stuff.. and I have gone from crying when I got into the bathroom at work every night, to being able to just let it roll off my back for the most part. In fact, I remember thinking, a few months ago, during one such moment, with a dawning glow of revelation: 'I am doing the best I can. I am working as hard as I ever have.. this profession is so complex -the learning curve never stops- and this work is so intense and high-stakes - that everybody feels at some point something could have been done better (in hindsight)' and I thought about the people in my life who *really* care about me, like my family and my closest friends, and they aren't many, but at the end of the day, I care about what *they* think of me, and how I 'm doing in *their* eyes, instead of how I seem to be doing in the eyes of some superior-level colleague who doesn't know me at all. It's kind of cool, to have actually had that revelation *while* in the thick of the situation. I guess I've finally gotten over my sensitivity to it... :wink2:

So even when *you* have these impossibly high standards for yourself (I know I do, can't help it) and your own disappointment in yourself is mirrored (vocally and loudly, too) by some person who just doesn't have a clue about your work ethic (etc.)... you *can* learn to handle it a bit more gracefully than you would ever imagine... I know I *never* thought I would. And here I am, I've done it!

I've also found that it's easier for me to crumple under criticism when I'm chronically fatigued.. too many all-nighters in a row, that sort of thing. And when I've had a good night's sleep (sleep mask, neck pillow, no caffeine in the p.m., no eating a few hours before bedtime, and maybe some yoga or meditation), it's like I'm made of teflon at work. I'm serious! Everything bounces off me - my sense of humor is stronger, my guard is back up..

I think also that maybe starting to meditate has helped me, too.. it makes it easier to stop replaying the criticism in my mind, over and over... I went to an Intro to Zazen orientation at our local Zen organization here, in New Orleans. It was pretty painless and now I can practice on my own, if I want to..

Another good resource is _Thinking Body, Dancing Mind: Taosports' - a book that has some good, short images you can remember in a pinch, which can calm you down in ten seconds flat. It was written as a resource for athletes and uses visualisation to improve their performance, lessen the kind of self-criticism that can hurt performance.. a pretty fun read, overall.

Hope this helps!

sunray12 · Jan 17, 2009

You're in school to learn. Sometimes you won't get things right and your instructor wouldn't be doing her job if she did not correct you. So learn from your mistakes and move on.

Melinurse · Jan 17, 2009

In my preceptors words after a mess up at work when I was orienting: " It's not how many times you fall down that matters, it's how many times you pick yourself back up." The instructor is there to guide you and correct you or even show you a better way. Listen to their advise.

Nellifuturenurse2010 · Jan 17, 2009

Don't worry, just keep your head up! You'll make it through.

I went through the same thing last semester. 4 people were written up for turning in late careplans in my clinical class, although I did not get written up, it felt like I did. My teacher (2 weeks before clinicals were over) all of a sudden started literally picking on me and another student. Saying that we need better time management and blah blah. She said we needed to be more assertive and our care plans need to improve. She went further to say that we both were on the verge of being hazardous to our patients. This all happened the week before thanksgiving break and man did it hurt me bad. I cried A LOT. I had been doing everything everyone else was doing, but all of sudden every question I asked, the answers I gave resulted in her scolding me. But in the end I just did the best I could and she passed me. But she seemed to not want to...I don't know what she had against me and the other student.

But honestly, just deal with it, get all you can out of the class and know that just because you got written up, that many students do and it does not make you any less of a nurse-to-be. Some teachers just like to nit pick, they feel it makes them better/ smarter. But trust me, I had signed up for the same teacher for this semester before this happened...but I switched that fast.

SunriseSurprise · Jan 18, 2009

I had a bad experience with a clinical instructor that I swore "picked" on me. Apparently she had a reputation for being mean to students. Personally, I took it as a compliment (later on). What I did was look up adversity quotes online (I know...cheesy) wrote them on note cards and kept them in my pocket. Whenever I felt like I was going to "crack" (ie cry) I pulled them out.

Here's one (my favorite): "Do not fear winds of adversity. Remember: A kite rises against the wind rather than with it!"

missa4 · Jan 18, 2009

Just remember it is a new year and maybe a new teacher.... keep your head high and hang in there!!!!! We have all been there and still there with ya!!!! :)