Advice about nursing stress

[Briannanala]

I worked on a telemetry unit for 2 years after graduating. I started out with a lot of compassion, but I feel like I lost a lot of it along the way, and I don't know how to get it back. I feel like it has affected my life outside of nursing as well, in the way that I view other people. I'm just not as sympathetic as I used to be. I feel like the constant stress wore me down, and the unreasonable demands from patients and administration caused me to be frustrated, both with my patients and with myself. I never felt like I was doing a good enough job, and I still have regrets about being so busy that I couldn't spend quality time with my patients. A couple of months ago, I had an unexpected patient death, and while it was no one's fault, I keep on thinking about it. I feel bad because no one thought he was seriously ill, and I reassured his family that he would be okay. I keep on wondering if I missed something, even though I know that I didn't.

I went back to school and I'm not currently working, but I feel like I'm still not the same. At this point, I don't want to return to nursing, if I can help it. Have I lost my compassion permanently, or do you think it can come back with time? Also, why can't I stop thinking about my patients who passed away? Is it normal to have intrusive thoughts like this, and do you think it will get better with time? I'm tired of feeling this way, and I'm hoping things will eventually get back to normal.

[Rebekulous]

It sounds like you're burnt out. As far as the unexpected death, I've had the same experience. The patient showed up in my dreams for weeks, and I had a hard time going back to work. Eventually that faded, but I can still see their face, and remember what it was like to be in the room during that code.

Do you have access to a therapist? You've had a lot of stuff happen, and it might help to have someone to help you work through it and figure out what to do.

[Davey Do]

I keep on thinking about it.

It sounds like you're burnt out....

Do you have access to a therapist?

Yeah, rumination and racing thoughts are are two of the symptoms of depression, Briannanala. Not being able to let go of past experiences is due to no closure or coming to terms with your feelings.

Our feelings toward any situation is only a problem when it profoundly affects our ability to deal with important aspecst of our lives, such as our health, relationships or work.

Rebekulous' advice of therapy is a good one. You could hook up with a good therapist who could help guide you in dealing with your feelings.

You have begun your recovery by posting here on AN.com, Briananala. Reaching out and gathering date is an intricate step in any problem solving process.

Recovering from depression or burnout is like a program we need to work every day. One way to get started is to write down, using pen and paper, your thoughts and feelings. Don't be concerned about penmanship or sentence structure or grammar- just get out what's in your head. "Morning Pages" as Julia Cameron calls this process in her book The Artist's Way is a great catharsis and can be utilized to gain a different perspective.

Good luck to you on your journey, Briannnalana!

[Daisy4RN]

Agree with the others that a therapist could help you work through your feelings related to the patient death and related feelings. I think you most likely would find your compassion again. You may or may not ever return to bedside nursing or nursing at all but after you are able to step back and examine your situation/feelings what you want/choose to do will become more clear. I worked in Oncology and after my first patient death realized I needed better boundaries, you too will be able to find your balance. Wish you well!!