Advice Needed...How to survive nursing school and parenthood at the same time!

NICU_nurse2b · Apr 29, 2006

I start nursing school in the fall and balancing home and school is what is scaring me the most right now. I plan on taking the summer to get my house organized. I would like to start a chore list so everyone can pitch in with the chores.(without any nagging or "you didn't tell me to do that") My husband bought me a cookbook Cheap. Fast. Good. Hundreds of ways to eat well for less. How to plan smart, shop smart, and cook smart. Time and Money will be lacking when NS starts. I thought another good idea would be to make several meals ahead of time and freeze them for when time is really lacking! Hopefully these ideas will help. I guess we all will learn as we go what works and what doesn't. I think another thing that will help is to realize I will no longer be able to go to EVERY school function, field trip, class party. And more than likely my 4.0 GPA will be gone. (but still get decent grades)

SNLiz · Apr 29, 2006

I have 2 children ages 7 and 5. I am in my third semester of a 4 semester program. My husband works very long hours and very long distances and I have been a single mom mostly. My mom has been fabulous in helping me to achieve this goal.

My best advice: take it a week at a time. If you have a big test in a certain week, dont clean.. there is time after the test for that. If your family has to have whites done, dont do every load. Dont make the beds in the morning. Lay clothes out the night before. Frozen pizza IS ok for dinner, just make em eat some fruit too. While you sit down to help kids with homework, keep your notes at hand so you can be reading over them during lulls in questions. If you are a neat freak, give it up now. Your house will get very messy from time to time despite your best intentions. Give your attention to the things that matter the most. If your school is like mine, they scare you into thinking that SCHOOL IS YOUR LIFE. Thats not true. You can manage everything, you'll just be very busy doing it. The most important thing is to stay flexible and level headed. And always have a back up plan for childcare. There is nothing worse than your sitter calling at 8 pm the night before clinicals and cancelling and you have no replacement. Good luck!

gdean1 · Apr 29, 2006

how about any other family in the area, maybe adopted "grandparents" or child sharing with another student -- different major

kms1978 · Apr 29, 2006

I have read through all the posts on this thread, and I have a slightly different question. My son turns four next month, and we really would like to have more children. I start nursing school in August, and we are debating if I should put pregnancy off until I am finished, or if we should just go for it. We started trying for another one a year ago with no luck, so I really don't want to just give up now that I am starting school. But I also don't want to set myself up to fail. Has anyone experienced pregnancy/nursing school at the same time? Better yet - nursing school with a newborn? Thanks for your insight!

SNLiz · Apr 29, 2006

Hmmm, I can't say I would reccommend nursing school with a newborn unless you are willing to 1) take time off if the need arises. If you develop complications and are put on bedrest, you would have to drop your classes. 2) You have a fabulous babysitter who you can totally rely on. 3) You are willing to leave that new little baby every day with this person. 4) I think this may be the hardest for me, being sooo busy that you miss alot of things that go along with having a baby. I'm thinking major guilt.

I know some girls who have been pregnant and gotten through it without delivering before they graduated. I do not know any that have delivered during the program and continued on course. Whatever you decide Good Luck!!!

bethg5 · Apr 29, 2006

Thanks everyone for your tips on surviving NS with children! It's funny because I am not stressed as much about the classwork involved in nursing school as I am about my children and the program. I know that you cannot miss classes or clinicals so I am worried about when they are sick or out of school for the day or even evening clinicals. I figure I will just spend a fortune on childcare for the next couple of years as long as I can find it. We live in the country so I think finding childcare seems more difficult than when we lived more towards the city. I am thinking about putting up a flyer at the school looking for someone to come to my house, then if they can't make it for the day I can use the drop off service at my school as backup. The most important days I need a sitter are clinicals which are 2 full days. Our actual class time is only 2 days a week and it's early enough in the morning that my hubby could keep the 3 yr old before he goes to bed.

firstyearstudent · Apr 29, 2006

I have read through all the posts on this thread, and I have a slightly different question. My son turns four next month, and we really would like to have more children. I start nursing school in August, and we are debating if I should put pregnancy off until I am finished, or if we should just go for it. We started trying for another one a year ago with no luck, so I really don't want to just give up now that I am starting school. But I also don't want to set myself up to fail. Has anyone experienced pregnancy/nursing school at the same time? Better yet - nursing school with a newborn? Thanks for your insight!

Between applying to nursing school the first time and then acceptance, I found out I was pregnant. It was a hard decision, but I decided to put nursing school off. Now I'm in school with a five year old and a two year old, but I really don't regret it. My two year old LOVES his nursery school and I don't really feel that bad about it. I think nursing school would have been too hard with an infant (both on the baby and on myself).

If you really don't want to lose time, you might think about trying to get pregnant near the end of the program. Of course, you'd be taking a chance since pregnancy is unpredictable.

firstyearstudent · Apr 29, 2006

Thanks everyone for your tips on surviving NS with children! It's funny because I am not stressed as much about the classwork involved in nursing school as I am about my children and the program. I know that you cannot miss classes or clinicals so I am worried about when they are sick or out of school for the day or even evening clinicals. I figure I will just spend a fortune on childcare for the next couple of years as long as I can find it. We live in the country so I think finding childcare seems more difficult than when we lived more towards the city. I am thinking about putting up a flyer at the school looking for someone to come to my house, then if they can't make it for the day I can use the drop off service at my school as backup. The most important days I need a sitter are clinicals which are 2 full days. Our actual class time is only 2 days a week and it's early enough in the morning that my hubby could keep the 3 yr old before he goes to bed.

You've got the idea here, already. If you make prior arrangements and contingency plans, everything should be okay. I would make contact with three or more reliable sitters or home daycares.

I don't know what it is like in your town, but some hospitals sponsor a children's infirmary onsite where working parents can leave their children.

Here's an article "Hospital Day Care for Sick Children Makes Gains"

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?sec=health&res=950DE4DC1E3DF935A15751C0A96F948260

RNToobee · Apr 30, 2006

I am currently in nursing school, I graduate in Dec. 2006. I have a 6,5,and a 2 yr old. My husband works two jobs and we are managing. I am fortunate to have my MIL living with us right now...she helps with some of the babysitting, but she is a nurse and works quite a bit also. You CAN do it. Forget being an A student....just get through it. I have pulled a few A's here and there...but its ok if I don't. Don't stress out. None of this is as important as your family. Occasionally i have vented on my family and I am lucky they are supportive and understanding. I am 38 yrs old and have seen alot in my years, so I don't sweat the small stuff anymore. I refuse to let nursing school get in the way of my fun. In about a year from now nursing school will be a blurr. Just keep everything into perspective and flow with it. It is totally doable.

capribry · Apr 30, 2006

I am also worried about this situation too. I am 20 and will be starting nursing school in august. I also have a son that will turn 2 in july. I guess I should be kinda use to the situation since I had him weeks before my 1st day of college. Since he was newborn, I depended on my sister to watch him. I didn't have a job and depended on my boyfriend, parents,and those financial aid checks came in handy too. My grades were good, I only had C's in the biology stuff. It was difficult for me to study b/c I would always want to spend time with my baby since I was in school all day. It is very easy to feel guilty about not spending time with your kids. Now that my baby is walking and talking it's even harder to tell him that you can't play b/c they don't understand that you have a test.

I decided to put him in daycare and try to work full-time as waitress all summer so that I can save some much needed cash. When school start I will try to work only 1 or 2 days(the weekend) so that I can have a little bit of money plus I have a car note. If that doesn't work out, I will be forced to quit my job and will have to depend on my family.

My main goal is to become more organized and to change my sleeping habits (me and my son are nite owls).

I just want to wish luck to everybody and hopefully everything will work out for all of us. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel even though I did not start yet!!!

danaRN2b · Apr 30, 2006

I also have a bunch of kids (ages 10, 8, 6, 5) and a hubby who is gone from 5am to 8pm...anything you can plan ahead of time, before you start classes full time is great. Maybe planning a monthly meal calendar & a grocery list that is pretty much made up ahead of time. Seems like meals are always the most stressful thing to plan, and there will be some days you couldn't make a decision about something like that even if you tried! (One night my husband was going to go pick up something fast food and asked me what I wanted...I burst into tears because I couldn't even make myself decide... !) It's okay if the kids eat quick-to-make stuff and microwave stuff, it isn't forever. As for the housework, lower your standards. Clutter doesn't kill anyone...the only thing I make sure of is that everyone has clothes for the next day; other than that, no one really cares what else gets done. Most importantly, go easy on yourself!! You don't have to be a superwoman, and don't stretch yourself too thin trying to be. I'm a classic overachiever, and almost made myself nuts my first few semesters trying to be an A student, the perfect clinical nurse, and June Cleaver.

Nursing school is so great, but it can be exhausting and you'll feel like your mind won't ever shut "off" for the duration, so let the little stuff at home go...I have three weeks left, and my husband and kids are still alive and kicking!! Whenever I look at the clutter or cobwebs, I just say to myself, "This summer, I'll take care of that this summer!" Best of luck to you!