Advice needed! FT work, student nurse, newborn - All of this possible?

cupcakemojo · Oct 24, 2017

Hello MegWorth,

Wow! You certainly have a lot on your plate, and kudos to you for pursuing your BSN. I have some important advice to you. You cannot do it all. Now, this might seem harsh but it is the truth. Although it is possible (barely) to juggle a full time job, school and a newborn something is forced to be sacrificed. Your school work will either go to the wayside, you will struggle to find time to work or you will never get a chance to spend time with your baby. I think at this point you have to make an important decision: job/school or baby?

- It is possible to work a full time job and go to school at the same time, especially with proper time management and social support. Because you have a great job and your goal is to be a nurse, it sounds like this is the best track for you. If you are really passionate about finishing your degree and becoming an RN, I say go for it!

- So the baby part... unfortunately you have to weigh your options. Nowadays people are choosing to have children, but instead of caring for them, they throw them in daycare and expect a total stranger to raise their child. I am completely against this idea and believe that babies are supposed to be surrounded by their parents and family. Why have a child if you can't invest the appropriate time and energy to raise it appropriately?

So, you must ask yourself: Is being a nurse or a mom my personal dream? From there, the decision is easy. Both are going to be equally difficult, but unfortunately I don't think you can do all three at once without neglecting something. Both dreams are great, and whatever you choose I wish you luck in all your endeavors!

araew2129, ADN · Oct 24, 2017

I do agree with the previous poster that doing all 3 at the same time will be very difficult and not in your best interest as something will have to give. However, I think it is very harsh to talk about childcare as "throwing them in daycare and expecting a total stranger to raise them." Plenty of families use childcare and still enjoy having a family and still manage to raise their own children. If you do have a baby now, your baby could theoretically be 3-6 months old when you start school and daycare at that age would be totally appropriate. But, again, managing time for studies and still having time with your baby (which you will want) will be difficult. That being said, nursing school does not last forever and sometimes people have to put in a ton of work upfront to reach their goals. Good luck in whatever you choose!

MegWorth · Oct 25, 2017

Thank you cupcakemojo and araew for sharing your opinions. I do see were cupcakemojo is coming from about sending your child to daycare. My husband and I have been talking about things a lot. He did tell me if we decide to have a baby he would prefer me to stay home for a couple years (can still go to school) because he doesn't know if he would want a stranger watching our child 40 hours a week. Me personally I do not want to give up my job because I love where I work and take a lot of pride in my job and think daycare or a nanny would be okay. I have plenty of friends and coworkers that do this. There are many reasons why they put their children in daycare but the most common reason is they need the second income. I do agree with you both that taking on all three would be very hard and one of the areas would suffer. I needed to hear this from others because my mother in-law told me many women have done all three without a problem and you will be just fine. If anyone has done all three I would love to hear your thoughts.

paisling · Oct 25, 2017

Thank you cupcakemojo and araew for sharing your opinions. I do see were cupcakemojo is coming from about sending your child to daycare. My husband and I have been talking about things a lot. He did tell me if we decide to have a baby he would prefer me to stay home for a couple years (can still go to school) because he doesn't know if he would want a stranger watching our child 40 hours a week. Me personally I do not want to give up my job because I love where I work and take a lot of pride in my job and think daycare or a nanny would be okay. I have plenty of friends and coworkers that do this. There are many reasons why they put their children in daycare but the most common reason is they need the second income. I do agree with you both that taking on all three would be very hard and one of the areas would suffer. I needed to hear this from others because my mother in-law told me many women have done all three without a problem and you will be just fine. If anyone has done all three I would love to hear your thoughts.

If he thinks it's important for the baby to have a parent home full time for the first few years, why doesn't he do it?

Is it possible to do all those things? Yes. Will it be easy? No. You will need lots of support from your husband, and that includes both emotional and him actively helping around the home and with raising your child.

MegWorth · Oct 26, 2017

My husband is not able to quit his job because he is part owner of an online business. He also makes a lot more money than I do. I am paid very well considering I am a Medical Assistant. My salary is similar to the average salary of a school nurses in my area and I have excellent benefits but it would be tight to live only on my salary.

seaofclouds21, BSN, RN · Oct 30, 2017

It is possible to do all three, but it can be hard. I was a single mom, working full time while attending school full time. I was very busy, but had an awesome support system. I still spent quality time with my son every day. I finished nursing school the year he started kindergarten. The quality of life we had once I finished school was so vastly different from the quality of life we had before. It was definitely worth it.