Advice on classmate who needs help?

[ObviouslyAnonymous]

Hey all;

I'm in my first semester of nursing school, and one of my classmates needs some help. We have a group text that was put together for a group project, and in this conversation at multiple times an individual has indicated that they have a drinking problem.

This morning I woke up to messages that implied that they drove drunk last night to get more alcohol. This is really the breaking point for me. Drinking on your own time is whatever, but this shows really bad judgment. In the group text, we have counseled several times in the past to A) keep the group chat somewhat kosher and school related, and B) that they need to get help. Individually, both in person and in text, I've told them that they need to get help and that they're either going to get kicked out of nursing school, or if they make it through, they're going to lose their license if they can't get this under control.

We all have been trying to kinda let the group chat ride, but it's been escalating, and now it's to the point where I feel like A) they definitely need help, but B) they're gonna kill someone as a nurse (or on the streets, apparently) if nothing is said. I don't want to ruin their life by reporting it to the nursing school, but at this point, I guess they're the one doing that.

Let me be clear; I don't care about drinking. This isn't some moral judgment thing. I enjoy a beer or whiskey here and there, and we're all in college: it is what it is. This is a group chat though, unofficially affiliated with school. It's somewhat low key and informal and we've all shared various things that are not 100% school related, but they consistently bring up nothing but how they're drinking, despite gentle attempts and redirection from the rest of us.

Here's my question to you all; is it better to try and anonymously report this to the nursing school staff so that they can try and gently intervene before it gets to the point where they're completely thrown under the bus? Ideally, they'll get counseling; it's a hella competitive program, and they're a smart person, and I hope they will be a great nurse if they can get this under control. At the same time, if they don't, it's not going to be a good thing.

The other option would be to go to administration in person and show the chat logs. I feel like if that happens, they're getting booted out unilaterally, and I also don't want the rest of the people in the group chat to get any sort of ramifications for having let it escalate TO this point.

TL;DR: Classmate consistently exhibits bad judgment regarding alcohol that seems to be escalating, and now it seems to be to the point where they're committing a felony.

Probably going on a bit long, but just trying to get feedback from everyone here, based on both your school experiences and your professional experiences.

Thanks for the feedback.

[ItsThatJenGirl, CNA]

That's a tough one. I don't think you have the right to report driving while intoxicated though - you have no proof that it actually happened. It's gossip at this point. They could be one of those people that creates drama for attention, or lies. I don't think it's enough to potentially ruin their future over.

Are you still working on the project? Is this person pulling their weight? My answer really depends on those two questions. My answer will either be to report his/her lack of involvement to the teacher, or remove this person from your group texts.

I know my advice probably won't be popular, but I just don't think that reporting her/him is justified at this point.

[NICU Guy, BSN, RN]

First talk to them in person about your concerns. Texting may not have conveyed your true concerns. If they do not take corrective action, then confide in an approachable instructor. The nursing school should care enough about their students to help them avoid serious damage to their nursing career. The school will not say "She has a drinking problem and we can't allow this so we are going to kick her out of the program". They can give her guidance as to who she needs to see about the problem and how they will deal with her enrollment in the program. The person may have to put nursing school on hold until their problem is taken care of before finishing school.

[MiladyMalarkey, ASN, BSN]

I'd report it anonymously, but, that's me, I've no beef with the consumption of alcohol, but with a background in law enforcement, I've seen alcohol abuse destroy lives first hand (as I'm sure many a nurse on here has also). I'm not about getting someone in trouble & definitely a believer in second chances, but this person is not only being irresponsible but also advertising it to others. Maybe this is a cry for help on their part?

I just personally would not want this individual to hurt themselves or someone else & especially wouldn't want it on my conscience if something happened & I had said or had done nothing.

If talking to this person is something you'd rather do, I'd support that. But, if nothing changes, you gotta keep in mind you, your friends & loved ones likely drive the same roads as this person or may one day even be his/her's patient.