Accused of Privilege

[nursemaryzzel]

I had my first day at my new job in the BICU at a huge regional hospital yesterday. I relocated to be closer to family and my fiance, who just happens to work in HR/administration at the hospital.

Well apparently, my preceptor found out about that. During the entire shift, she began to belittle me and criticize me for every small mistake I made. Multiple times, she went on to insinuate that the only reason I got the job is because of my connection with a "higher up". She was very cold and actually went on to berate me infront of a patient's entire family because I handed her the wrong dressing change. She was way too hard on me for my first day and even told me that I have to "consider whether burns is right for me".

While my fiance did help get me an interview, I'd like to think it was on my merit that I actually got the position. I really want to formally complain about her, but I'm scared if I do that will just stir the pot even more.

ANY advice would be appreciated. I'm feeling so discouraged.

[elkpark]

Is there not some other hospital in the area you could have taken a job with, instead of the place where your fiance' works? Obviously I'm an outlier on this question, but, yes, I don't think it's surprising that people are questioning whether you are getting some special consideration at work because you're engaged to someone in HR. As long as you're there, people are going to find out about and pass on that you have that relationship, and all the decisions made about you as an employee are going to be eyed by others with suspicion. This seems like a basic "boundaries" issue to me. There's no way I would consider working for a facility where a family member or fiance' worked in a higher level position. Boundaries are our friends. There's a good reason why so many employers have rules about nepotism.

[nursemaryzzel]

Is there not some other hospital in the area you could have taken a job with, instead of the place where your fiance' works? Obviously I'm an outlier on this question, but, yes, I don't think it's surprising that people are questioning whether you are getting some special consideration at work because you're engaged to someone in HR. As long as you're there, people are going to find out about and pass on that you have that relationship, and all the decisions made about you as an employee are going to be eyed by others with suspicion. This seems like a basic "boundaries" issue to me. There's no way I would consider working for a facility where a family member or fiance' worked in a higher level position. Boundaries are our friends. There's a good reason why so many employers have rules about nepotism.

The hospital where he works at is one of the best in the region, and I honestly did not want to pass up the opportunity to work here. Great pay, benefits, and it is a fairly well known hospital at least in my state. So far, that one preceptor was the only one who has had an issue with me. She's calmed down these last few shifts and I hope it'll stay that way because I'm loving the unit I'm on and would hate to have to transfer.

[Cowboyardee]

Your personal relationships are none of her business, and if she mentions them again, id suggest assertively telling her so, possibly along with a conversation with your manager.

On the other hand, criticizing your nursing mistakes, however small they seem, is very much her business, and id suggest replying to any such criticism thats delivered in a professional manner with either a 'thank you, ill do that from now on' or a thoughtful question about how to best do your job. Doesnt really matter what motivates her criticism - just strive to learn and do your best.