Acceptance revisited

[hppygr8ful, ASN, RN, EMT-I]

I have been dealing with some very challenging experiences lately as some of you know so I opened my tattered old Big Book to my favorite section :

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.

"Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."

Alcoholic Buddy T goes on to say

"For me serenity began when I learned to distinguish between those things that I could change and those I could not. When I admitted that there were people, places, things, and situations over which I was totally powerless, those things began to lose their power over me. I learned that everyone has the right to make their own mistakes, and learn from them, without my interference, judgement, or assistance!

The key to my serenity is acceptance. But "acceptance" does not mean that I have to like it, condone it, or even ignore it. What it does mean is I am powerless to do anything about it... and I have to accept that fact.

Nor does it mean that I have to accept "unacceptable behavior." Today I have choices. I no longer have to accept abuse in any form. I can choose to walk away, even if it means stepping out into the unknown. I no longer have to fear change or the unknown. I can merely accept it as part of the journey.

I spent years trying to change things in my life over which I was powerless but did not know it. I threatened, scolded, manipulated, coerced, pleaded, begged, pouted, bribed and generally tried everything I could to make the situation better -- only watch as things always got progressively worse.

I spent so much time trying to change the things I could not change, it never once occurred to me to simply accept them as they were.

Now when things in my life are not going the way I planned them, or downright bad things happen, I can remind myself that whatever is going on is not happening by accident. There's a reason for it and it is not always meant for me to know what that reason is.

That change in attitude has been the key to happiness for me. I know I am not the only who has found that serenity."

I wish all of brothers and sister's in sobriety a peaceful holiday season .

Hppy

[SororAKS, ADN, RN]

Thank you for sharing, so much good stuff in here!

Great job in getting through situations that are challenging, and doing it sober. Stopping the use of alcohol or drugs is just the beginning. We have to learn how to live, some of us for the first time, without a crutch, one day at a time. There are days that life still sucks, people are still hard to deal with, and situations push us to the limit. But today we don't have the monkey on our back. We have tools to use that might not fix things the way we might like, but they make dealing with it a hell of a lot easier.

[CryssyD]

Yes, thank you for sharing. I know what you mean--I was always trying to "fix" people and situations that made me uncomfortable; now I just accept that I can't do that, and don't need to worry about it. It was so nice to be released from responsibility for everyone else's behavior--that was a heavy load. Now I am responsible for myself, and no one else. In that powerlessness, I found the power that I do have.

Serenity is a beautiful thing.

Happy holidays, and peace, to all!