I'm in my 9th week as a new grad precepting in Labor & Delivery. I precepted before grad for 7 weeks as a student here. Now, It's a great new grad orientation program with 3 clinical days and one classroom day. 12 weeks total. I love Labor & Deliv and always knew I'd end up here. My problem is I have a preceptor who is highly critical of everything I do, never gives any positive feedback, is very condesending and basically makes my days miserable. She'll comment on just about everything I do in a negative vain. From the way I reposition the patient, to the way I chart something, to how I gave report to maternity/MD's, etc. I started out with 2 preceptors at the beginnning and never experienced this with the other nurse. However, she was injured on the job and has been on leave since week 5, so I'm stuck with the grumpy one. The grumpy one has a reputation among other nurses, MD's and support staff to be difficult, negative and highly picky/critical. Yes, she is an excellent nurse with 20 + yrs. of exp. behind her, but I'm having trouble after 9 wks of abusive behavior of appreciating that. Weekly, my manager, nurse educator and the other 4 new grads in the program have "couch time" in which we vent and discuss what we've done. I've been biting my tongue about this situation and finally, I spilled the beans. This woman is so critical and condesending that some days I feel like a bumbling idiot. My manager said "try to just pull out the good; her experience base and ignore her personality flaws and behavior. Yeah, right! My nurse educator pulled me aside and said "this woman has brought her to tears more than one time":angryfire . I'm fed up and on the verge of being unprofessional if I get one more rip from this preceptor on something insignificant. Advice?
There is no need for this behavior and I don't care how good a nurse she is, this behavior prevents other people from developing skills. I think the NM needs to have a sit down with that preceptor and talk to her about getting along with others. Also the NM should refrain from allowing that person to precept. People like her run off good nurses. As for your situation, you can talk to her yourself (doubt it will help much but I would make an attempt before going to NM again), confront NM again, suck it up and be glad when orientation is done, get off the B---- rotation, transfer or leave. This type of orientation actually delays your development, so do not be discouraged if you find yourself at odds when orientation is over. Hope you can latch onto another nurse who will be your mentor and friend.
Sorry you have a nasty preceptor. Wonder what it is about you she doesn't like about herself.
You wouldn't have gotten this far if you weren't doing a lot of things right. You have learned alot and came a long way.Hang in there. Fortunately all bad things come to pass and this will too.
Sorry you have a nasty preceptor. Wonder what it is about you she doesn't like about herself.
You wouldn't have gotten this far if you weren't doing a lot of things right. You have learned alot and came a long way.Hang in there. Fortunately all bad things come to pass and this will too.
I am sorry that you have a sucky preceptor. It really is sad that your nurse manager or clinical educator even ALLOW this person to orient new nurses. They should take her name off the list and get some people who are positive and good role models. Even if she is great at nursing skills, nursing is a people profession. She must really not like herself to be that way. I try to just feel sorry for people like that. It must suck to be her.
I just finished my first week of a 4 week orientation to Couplet Care and my preceptor is awesome. She is really nice and encouraging and also a good nurse. She allows me the freedom to make decisions, do procedures, without being too pushy or the opposite and just letting me have at it while she sits. She also understands if I want to observe her do something first. I am so lucky. I also had a great preceptor on the same unit for 3 weeks during the last month of school, so I think I will do okay in 3 weeks when I am off orientation.
I am sorry that you have a sucky preceptor. It really is sad that your nurse manager or clinical educator even ALLOW this person to orient new nurses. They should take her name off the list and get some people who are positive and good role models. Even if she is great at nursing skills, nursing is a people profession. She must really not like herself to be that way. I try to just feel sorry for people like that. It must suck to be her.
I just finished my first week of a 4 week orientation to Couplet Care and my preceptor is awesome. She is really nice and encouraging and also a good nurse. She allows me the freedom to make decisions, do procedures, without being too pushy or the opposite and just letting me have at it while she sits. She also understands if I want to observe her do something first. I am so lucky. I also had a great preceptor on the same unit for 3 weeks during the last month of school, so I think I will do okay in 3 weeks when I am off orientation.
Hang in there....I worked with someone like that when I first started OB too. She was an old nurse from the old school and after I got past my orientation I actually learned a few things from her, mostly things not to do. This nurse has since passed on.... she will forever be my example of how I don't want to be when I get old.
After awhile as a nurse, you get to figure out how people are...If she were a grouchy controlling PATIENT, you would have to try and figure out some way to get through to her. Sometimes it is as simple a thing as saying, " I just want to thank you for taking the time to share so much information with me." It must be difficult to have to precept so often and go over things time and time again." "I just hope someday I can be as good and knowlegeable as you are." Thankyou for your patience. You may discover that people are so accustomed and have been warned about her, that she expects you to expect that sort of behavior. That of course, doesn't excuse it, but it is the rare person who feels valued who would engage in that sort of behavior. Maybe people are focusing on that vs actually appreciating her as well. It couldn't hurt you to attempt that approach especially if she has been volunteered into the position of precepting. As a new grad, you may not realize that taking the time to try new approaches with people can only benefit you...And maybe YOU would be the person who validates this nurse, who may be tired and burned out. If you are a newer nurse, you likely have NO idea the level of stress nursing involves, even more so the more you know or are expected to know. I am not condoning this behavior toward you, but some people are not natural teachers and you have to keep that in mind. Consider it a practice since you will likely encounter patients and family members who similarly challenge you. And, I would bet a hundred dollars if you use the approach I describe, that nurse would feel appreciated, valued and WANT to take it easier on you, because you might be the one person who shows her that you appreciate her...Has worked for me....Hope this helps...And, if you do elect to do such a thing and it is helpful, please share that with us...You have no idea what this person is dealing with outside of the arena of preceptorship and she, like you, is only human, after all....It is a good lesson on how to become a good nurse that you might want to pay attention to...
I did try what you suggest. I told the preceptor how much I respected her experience and was often in awe of her and that is why I was nervous and sometimes made mistakes, etc. It worked for a while (about a week), she was flattered and actually used some positive reinforcement as well as her constant criticism. Many preceptors do volunteer for the sake of it. But their payoff is not just sharing their knowlege. Many (such as mine) get paid and do not have to take a patient when they precept (spend a lot of time socializing, balancing their checkbook and reading magazines). I agree with you, this experience will continue to help me get along with difficult people. However, some nurses simply should not precept. And also they should know when it's time to retire. This woman is one of them, as she treats her patients as condesendly as her fellow employees, not just me. As nurses, and people, we need to know how to "play the game" as well as how to not to let people take advantage of you and abuse you. It's a fine balance.That is the lesson I am taking from this experience, as I think we all should. Thanks for the words of wisdom.
After awhile as a nurse, you get to figure out how people are...If she were a grouchy controlling PATIENT, you would have to try and figure out some way to get through to her. Sometimes it is as simple a thing as saying, " I just want to thank you for taking the time to share so much information with me." It must be difficult to have to precept so often and go over things time and time again." "I just hope someday I can be as good and knowlegeable as you are." Thankyou for your patience. You may discover that people are so accustomed and have been warned about her, that she expects you to expect that sort of behavior. That of course, doesn't excuse it, but it is the rare person who feels valued who would engage in that sort of behavior. Maybe people are focusing on that vs actually appreciating her as well. It couldn't hurt you to attempt that approach especially if she has been volunteered into the position of precepting. As a new grad, you may not realize that taking the time to try new approaches with people can only benefit you...And maybe YOU would be the person who validates this nurse, who may be tired and burned out. If you are a newer nurse, you likely have NO idea the level of stress nursing involves, even more so the more you know or are expected to know. I am not condoning this behavior toward you, but some people are not natural teachers and you have to keep that in mind. Consider it a practice since you will likely encounter patients and family members who similarly challenge you. And, I would bet a hundred dollars if you use the approach I describe, that nurse would feel appreciated, valued and WANT to take it easier on you, because you might be the one person who shows her that you appreciate her...Has worked for me....Hope this helps...And, if you do elect to do such a thing and it is helpful, please share that with us...You have no idea what this person is dealing with outside of the arena of preceptorship and she, like you, is only human, after all....It is a good lesson on how to become a good nurse that you might want to pay attention to...
If the manager is aware and has done nothing then go over her head or go to the nurse recruiter in HR. SOMEBODY surely understands how expensive it is to train someone and what a waste it is to let them use that training elsewhere. I would insist on you, the preceptor and the manager getting together (should do this anyway) and talk about things.
Well good for you for recognizing such an important thing early on. Then it is up to her manager to talk with her to curtail her behavior or failing that, to at least address it with her. You have done all you could do and if there is an evaluation of the preceptor program and experience, I would just put what your concerns were, in writing, and be glad to be through with the experience, if for nothing else, then to see how you will not EVER treat new people coming in...Good luck in your career and hang in there! And, you're welcome...Looks like I owe you a hundred bucks! Oops..Can we put that bet aside????:}
I did try what you suggest. I told the preceptor how much I respected her experience and was often in awe of her and that is why I was nervous and sometimes made mistakes, etc. It worked for a while (about a week), she was flattered and actually used some positive reinforcement as well as her constant criticism. Many preceptors do volunteer for the sake of it. But their payoff is not just sharing their knowlege. Many (such as mine) get paid and do not have to take a patient when they precept (spend a lot of time socializing, balancing their checkbook and reading magazines). I agree with you, this experience will continue to help me get along with difficult people. However, some nurses simply should not precept. And also they should know when it's time to retire. This woman is one of them, as she treats her patients as condesendly as her fellow employees, not just me. As nurses, and people, we need to know how to "play the game" as well as how to not to let people take advantage of you and abuse you. It's a fine balance.That is the lesson I am taking from this experience, as I think we all should. Thanks for the words of wisdom.
After awhile as a nurse, you get to figure out how people are...If she were a grouchy controlling PATIENT, you would have to try and figure out some way to get through to her. Sometimes it is as simple a thing as saying, " I just want to thank you for taking the time to share so much information with me." It must be difficult to have to precept so often and go over things time and time again." "I just hope someday I can be as good and knowlegeable as you are." Thankyou for your patience. You may discover that people are so accustomed and have been warned about her, that she expects you to expect that sort of behavior. That of course, doesn't excuse it, but it is the rare person who feels valued who would engage in that sort of behavior. Maybe people are focusing on that vs actually appreciating her as well. It couldn't hurt you to attempt that approach especially if she has been volunteered into the position of precepting. As a new grad, you may not realize that taking the time to try new approaches with people can only benefit you...And maybe YOU would be the person who validates this nurse, who may be tired and burned out. If you are a newer nurse, you likely have NO idea the level of stress nursing involves, even more so the more you know or are expected to know. I am not condoning this behavior toward you, but some people are not natural teachers and you have to keep that in mind. Consider it a practice since you will likely encounter patients and family members who similarly challenge you. And, I would bet a hundred dollars if you use the approach I describe, that nurse would feel appreciated, valued and WANT to take it easier on you, because you might be the one person who shows her that you appreciate her...Has worked for me....Hope this helps...And, if you do elect to do such a thing and it is helpful, please share that with us...You have no idea what this person is dealing with outside of the arena of preceptorship and she, like you, is only human, after all....It is a good lesson on how to become a good nurse that you might want to pay attention to...
purplemania, BSN, RN
2,617 Posts
There is no need for this behavior and I don't care how good a nurse she is, this behavior prevents other people from developing skills. I think the NM needs to have a sit down with that preceptor and talk to her about getting along with others. Also the NM should refrain from allowing that person to precept. People like her run off good nurses. As for your situation, you can talk to her yourself (doubt it will help much but I would make an attempt before going to NM again), confront NM again, suck it up and be glad when orientation is done, get off the B---- rotation, transfer or leave. This type of orientation actually delays your development, so do not be discouraged if you find yourself at odds when orientation is over. Hope you can latch onto another nurse who will be your mentor and friend.