About to graduate..to start a family or find a job?

[dreamct]

I will be finishing my BSN program in 10 months. I am 30 years old, I was in the military for 8 years before deciding to go back to school. I have a 20 month old daughter. We would like to have one more child once I graduate. My concern is fitting it all in. Do I find a job right away and work my first year as a nurse pregnant? Do I wait to have another child once my career is established (2-3 yrs)? If I decide to be mommy and wait to start my career will anyopne hire me 3 years after graduating? I would like to work part time only..but does anyone hire a new grad part-time? How did you guys handle the career thing and family?

[Baloney Amputation, BSN, LPN, RN]

I'd go with your gut feeling, honestly. Everyone's needs and priorities play out differently, so it is really hard to say that what one person did is good for another. Most importantly, I think you will be able to find a job regardless of what path you take--I think you should go with what you think is right for you and your family.

I took my LPN boards on my due date with my first child. I went to work as a new LPN when she was 3 months old and desperately wanted to stay home with her, but I had it in my mind that I had just graduated, so I better use what I just spent the past year getting. After my second child was born, I didn't return to work out of the house. (I'm an at-home medical transcriptionist now with a fabulous company.) I am quite happy with these events now.

My husband is an RN in the evenings. He cares for our children when I work during the day. I will be starting to work in the evening after I tuck them in bed but while my husband is still at work. Our children are 7, 4, and 2--all daughters. We are terribly lucky to be able to do this. When I get the itch to work outside the house, I remind myself--they are only this little once. I have plenty of time to do it later. (I also volunteer as a nurse--that helps me get out of the house.)

I really struggled when I was working outside the house, and I didn't anticipate this at all before I started to work. I would stress about getting her ready for daycare when I was getting ready for work in a huge way. I would stress about work. I would stress about paying for daycare. I would stress about daycare itself. I tend to stress a bit, and this was with only one child! Anyway, unfortunately, this stressed my daughter out as well--not a good situation, and it was my fault.

I'm rambling about my own experience--sorry!. I think you will always have a chance to get a job. I think you've done well thus far, looking at your original post--there will be employers that will think so, too. You wouldn't want to work for someone who would look down on you for tending to your children regardless of what you choose.

Good luck!

[missjennmb]

I would have your child first. That way, your current baby would have something in common with your next and they would not be spread out too much. You already have one, so its not going to be like starting over, but if you waited, it would. I have a 13 yr old, an almost 3 yr old and an almost 1 yr old. I would never spread mine out at all if I had a choice (hence the last two being so close together). IMO this is a choice that is more important than nursing because these kids are going to have their whole lives based around how their family dynamic works.

If I could do anything differently, I would have gone to school before having my children, and then stayed home with mine until they were independent enough for daycare before going back to work (or worked the midnight shift or weekends or something so they did not have to go to daycare). My 2 yr old has been very ready to get out of the house and absolutely LOVES daycare (at times she cries on the weekend when she realizes she doesnt get to go because its so much fun for her), but my youngest baby is still too young, and while she is safe and cared for, I know its not nearly as good for her as being with me for a bit longer would have been.

I kind of take offense to the

You're obviously a kind, caring person, and I'm sure your children would benefit from learning your morals and values instead of some paid babysitter's opinions. Plus, they'll have your undivided attention instead of battling with 12-20 other children for a stranger's attention.

because it is only like that if you let it be, and not all children benefit more from one on one than from a group setting. My daughters' teachers are not strangers (well technically even their grandparents were strangers once...would you suggest they shouldn't stay with them either?). My 2 year old absolutely THRIVES in her childcare environment to the point that if I were still a stay at home mom, I would keep the baby with me and let her go to daycare. She loves it that much, and its been very good for her in many ways. Daycare is not evil. Its just about finding the right situation for your children.

Such judgemental comments are really unnecessary.

I did everything backwards and had 3 children prior to having a career, and while I do regret not going to school earlier only because the hours are tough on family, I do not regret waiting for my career, because they're only young once, and its nice to have something to look forward to once cabin fever starts to set in. :)

[beachbum3]

I'm a new grad and just started at the end of July. I plan on trying to conceive in January. I figure if I get pregnant right away I'd have over a year there by the time the baby is born, and after my maternity leave (12 weeks) I could see how I felt and start back part time for awhile before going to full...

I think its important to give yourself at least 6 months to get established after school, maybe more depending on you and your situation. I intend to re-evaluate my situation in January to see where I am at work. I want to be at a point where I'm relatively comfortable in my role and not completely freaked out every time I go to work, before I add the stress of being pregnant to it.