A Woman's Perfect Breakfast

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.

Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.

Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.

And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the

woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet

I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come

shopping with me, and I figured this was the most

evil thing I could do to him legally."

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax

pour it onto your upper thigh,

rip the hair out by the root,

and still be afraid of a spider.

MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with

communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the

instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know

the things that are important to each other."

He addressed the man,

"Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and

whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?

The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right here.

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down

the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can

help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of

tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct

aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton

balls and a ball of string on the counter.

She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for

some tampons for your wife?

He answers, " You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent

my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes,

and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling

papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.

So, I figure if I have to roll my own ............ so does she.

( I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton! )

CHEERZ!

[talaxandra]

I don't know which I love the most!

[weetziebat]

They're all great, Fran. But will have to remember the one about the remote control - have a feeling that could come in handy :chuckle

[Good_Queen_Bess]

I actually did something very similar to my husband re the remote control thing. I went to the shop with it in my pocket! It was only the corner shop 5 minutes away but I didn't stop laughing for a week.

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

I actually did something very similar to my husband re the remote control thing. I went to the shop with it in my pocket! It was only the corner shop 5 minutes away but I didn't stop laughing for a week.

:rotfl:

[AFWife]

Too funny! My DH had sent me this very same thing a couple of weeks ago! But I have to say the Woman's Breakfast is my favorite! :rotfl: