A rock and a hard place

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Hello,

I know this has been posted too many times to count, but I don't feel the love for my job anymore. Not just this job, but healthcare overall. I've been an LPN 8+ years and a nurse aide 5 years before that. I was originally in the RN program but moved over due to a (not known at the time) mental illness. I have worked nearly months at a time for my residents. I have put off vacations to make sure they were taken care of. Heard them beg me to never leave. Etc. My management has recently revealed to me they don't think I'm doing enough (despite my numerous reports of res. Concerns and neglect and those I report rub elbows with management). I'm made to feel that I complain too much and that I'm on a witch Hunt for those I report. I have fought and fought and I'm just so tired. Different job? I need health insurance and I'd have to take a pay cut along with even more stress I wanted to be a writer. I wanted to draw and paint. I can't make a house payment with that, even if I was good at it, which I'm not. I've tried and never gotten any interest in my work. Back to school? It's costly, obviously, and I have no idea what to invest in. I've only ever served others. I've only ever been in healthcare, but I just don't think I have it in me anymore. I just don't know what to do.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

This sounds like burnout to me. I've been burned out a few times. Sometimes a change of shift will help, sometimes a change to a different hospital in the same specialty or a different specialty in the same hospital. You might start there. Once the only thing that would work was selling my house and moving three thousand miles to the opposite coast.

One part of your post that does concern me is the implication that you're "reporting" numerous people and your management is concerned that you complain too much and are on a witch-hunt. Take those complaints seriously, because poor workplace relationships will tank a career faster than incompetence will.

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Good advice by Ruby Vee^^. I agree that sometimes a move (a physical move across country or even to another job across town) helps to shake off those burnout blues. Like you, and many other nurses, I sometimes dream of pursing other careers, but reality intervenes, and well, you know the rest of the story. The other key piece of advice, if a move or career change are not viable options for you, then think about how to have a more healthy work/life balance-say no to overtime, get a hobby, make you a priority... Lastly, I think resigning yourself to the fact that, "I've got to do this job for X number of years. I'm going to do be a professional, a good employee by tuning out the 'noise' of toxic coworkers so I can rise above". Keep your chin up:)

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Thank you both for your insight. I've focused so long on others that my ability to develop a hobby for myself has weakened, so I'll have to do some thinking. I definitely wanted to pick up and move for a fresh start but I bought a house almost two years ago so I'm stuck in place for a little while. It's a sad thing when management is a shadow of what it once was. We think fondly on the days when you felt like you made a difference. I stay for my people. That's what gets me through.

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This has happened to me on and off but now after 40 years I have had enough and am hitting the road....will be starting my pension July 1st! Mixed emotions here but over-all I know I am going to be happier. Not sure I will ever practice as a RN again.....but time will tell.

Good Luck in your journey.

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