A nurse is a family member too.

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Specializes in med surg nursing.

OK, this might take awhile. My 90 year old uncle,who by the way has never been married and has no children, therefore my parents and my siblings and I are very close to him, is having his birthday party today. My mother called me at work to tell me he was in the ER today and that the Dr. wanted to admit him. My uncle told the Dr. no because of the party. I go down to the ER to see what was going on. My uncle had already left and the ER Dr. and nurses told me they couldn't tell me anything...HIPPA. I told them I understood and asked if my uncle fully understood because he is very HOH. The Dr. told me my uncle was fully aware. I go back to my unit and call my uncle. Surprise!!!!! He had no idea what was going on. He told me he went to the ER to get "cleaned out"

( He does get constipated) and all of a sudden all these other people were there talking to him telling him he had to stay.

I called the ER to tell one of the nurses that my uncle was totally unaware of what was happening and to please understand that he is 90 and HOH. 30 seconds later the ER Dr. calls me screaming at me about HIPPA. When I was able to get a word in, which was quite difficult, I told him that I hadn't called for info, that I was concerned about my 90 year old uncle being in ER with no advocate then informing me he understood everything when he clearly didn't. I wonder if that Dr. would have screamed at a family member if she wasn't a nurse. I am very upset and don't know how to handle this. I did not deserve to be talked to that way.

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Specializes in ICU, ER.

Wow that's really awful. I'm so sorry you were treated like that! Did you know this MD before?

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Wasn't your family there with him? They obviously knew what was going on. So, he did have an advocate there.

What did you hope to accomplish by calling the ER? Your uncle had left. If you felt he needed to be treated, you should have brought him back or sent him to another ER to be evaluated.

If your uncle doesn't want to be admitted and he's of sound mind, then he has every right to leave.

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Specializes in ER/Ortho.

In the instance you are NOT a nurse you ARE a family member. If I were you I would write a little something on the comment card or complain. You are a human being as well as a nurse.

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Specializes in Occupational health, Corrections, PACU.
Wasn't your family there with him? They obviously knew what was going on. So, he did have an advocate there.

What did you hope to accomplish by calling the ER? Your uncle had left. If you felt he needed to be treated, you should have brought him back or sent him to another ER to be evaluated.

If your uncle doesn't want to be admitted and he's of sound mind, then he has every right to leave.

If I am understanding this right, she called the ER to let them know they were WRONG, since they had told her that her uncle "was fully aware" of the circumstances. I would do the same thing. When I was given some BS information about my father during his long illness, I was sure that someone heard about it afterward. This is why they give surveys to patients when they leave the hospital...the hospital (supposedly) WANTS feedback so they can address problems and do their quality improvement process. And the whole point that was made was that he was HOH...therefore she had doubt as to whether he really understood (and obviously he did not).

As far as the doctor screaming at you? I would write a little letter saying almost exactly what you said in your initial post, and send it directly to THE hospital administrator, with a copy to the Chief of medicine at that hospital-make sure at least 2 people in positions of authority get it. Maybe that way, they can have a talk with the MD and tell him he is best served by LISTENING to a concern of a FAMILY MEMBER, rather than mouthing off to someone he can verbally assault that he believes will cowtow to his "superior authority".

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Right, but calling the ER isn't going to anything. Odds are that they are busy and the MD doesn't have time to explain to a family member who doesn't agree with a patient leaving that situation was explained and the patient made their own choice.

I would, however, if I felt the way the OP does, first, make sure my family member got the care they needed, then write a letter and call the supervisor regarding my concerns.

But it seems that either the family was present and the uncle had an advocate and choose to leave anyway (not the ER's fault) or he was there alone, went home and told the family that the ER wanted to admit him, but he wanted to come home. In the latter case, the patient was aware of the situation. In the former case, the patient had advocates who were there to make sure the patient understood the situation.

So, I'm not understanding how the uncle wasn't aware of what was going on, I guess.

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Specializes in med surg nursing.
Wasn't your family there with him? They obviously knew what was going on. So, he did have an advocate there.

What did you hope to accomplish by calling the ER? Your uncle had left. If you felt he needed to be treated, you should have brought him back or sent him to another ER to be evaluated.

If your uncle doesn't want to be admitted and he's of sound mind, then he has every right to leave.

I was hoping to open some eyes about older HOH hearing patients. He may be of sound mind be he can't hear well. I didn't know if he needed to be admitted, remember, they wouldn't tell me anything. And no, there was no family with him, he still gets around on his own and doesn't like to bother us...stubborn.

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A nurse is a family member when the family member being treated is present. When the patient is no longer there and the nurse questions the care provided, there may be room for questioning the appropriateness of the action. If you're concerned about whether or not your uncle was adequately cared for and his hearing loss was adequately accommodated, the best thing to do is to take it up with the Patient Representative in your facility.

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Specializes in med surg nursing.
Right, but calling the ER isn't going to anything. Odds are that they are busy and the MD doesn't have time to explain to a family member who doesn't agree with a patient leaving that situation was explained and the patient made their own choice.

I would, however, if I felt the way the OP does, first, make sure my family member got the care they needed, then write a letter and call the supervisor regarding my concerns.

But it seems that either the family was present and the uncle had an advocate and choose to leave anyway (not the ER's fault) or he was there alone, went home and told the family that the ER wanted to admit him, but he wanted to come home. In the latter case, the patient was aware of the situation. In the former case, the patient had advocates who were there to make sure the patient understood the situation.

So, I'm not understanding how the uncle wasn't aware of what was going on, I guess.

He didn't understand WHY they wanted him to stay...he came in because he was constipated for Pete's sake. BTW... ER not busy...empty...nurses and Doc sitting talking.

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Specializes in med surg nursing.
Right, but calling the ER isn't going to anything. Odds are that they are busy and the MD doesn't have time to explain to a family member who doesn't agree with a patient leaving that situation was explained and the patient made their own choice.

I would, however, if I felt the way the OP does, first, make sure my family member got the care they needed, then write a letter and call the supervisor regarding my concerns.

But it seems that either the family was present and the uncle had an advocate and choose to leave anyway (not the ER's fault) or he was there alone, went home and told the family that the ER wanted to admit him, but he wanted to come home. In the latter case, the patient was aware of the situation. In the former case, the patient had advocates who were there to make sure the patient understood the situation.

So, I'm not understanding how the uncle wasn't aware of what was going on, I guess.

He didn't understand WHY they wanted him to stay...he came in because he was constipated for Pete's sake. BTW... ER not busy...empty...nurses and Doc sitting talking.

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Specializes in med surg nursing.
A nurse is a family member when the family member being treated is present. When the patient is no longer there and the nurse questions the care provided, there may be room for questioning the appropriateness of the action. If you're concerned about whether or not your uncle was adequately cared for and his hearing loss was adequately accommodated, the best thing to do is to take it up with the Patient Representative in your facility.

Thanks, but remember, I was questioning as a family member, not a nurse.

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I was hoping to open some eyes about older HOH hearing patients. He may be of sound mind be he can't hear well. I didn't know if he needed to be admitted, remember, they wouldn't tell me anything. And no, there was no family with him, he still gets around on his own and doesn't like to bother us...stubborn.

Okay, so if your family was aware when they called you that the ER wanted to admit him, then he was aware what the MDs plan of action was, since he would have had to tell them for them to know.

Just because he's HOH doesn't mean that the MD wasn't able to fully explain the plan of care and the reasoning for them wanting to admit him.

And regarding your uncle still being able to get around: That's awesome. I hope I'm still going strong like that at that age.

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